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Friday, February 17, 2017

The Man Rules

Meredith's Jack sent the following with the note “Cat...I dare you to post this...”
Dare accepted. Winking smile 


At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down
Finally, the guys' side of the story.
(I must admit, it's pretty good.)
 

We always hear
"the rules"
From the female side. 
 
 
Now here are the rules from the male side.
These are
our rules!
 
Please note…these are all numbered "1"
ON PURPOSE!
 
 
1.   Men are NOT mind readers.
(FIRST & FOREMOST RULE)
 

1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
We need it up, you need it down.
You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
 

1. Sunday sports, It's like the full moon
or the changing of the tides.
Let it be.
 

1. Crying is blackmail.
 

1. Ask for what you want.
Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!
 

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
 

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do.
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
 

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
In fact, all comments become Null and void after 7 Days.
 

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are.
Don't ask us.
 

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
 

1. You can either ask us to do something
Or tell us how you want it done.
Not both.
If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
 

1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
 

1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.
 

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.
 

1. If it itches, it will be scratched.
We do that.
 

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong.
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
 

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.
 

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine…Really.
 

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as Football or Hockey.
 

1. You have enough clothes.
 

1. You have too many shoes.
 

1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!
 


Thank you for reading this.
 

Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;
 

But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.

28 comments:

  1. LoL Jack and Cat, hmm,wonder if Jack is sleeping on the couch? lol.

    Hugs
    Roz

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. In all our marriage, neither of us have ever slept on the couch........... ever!
      Meredith

      Delete
    2. LOL Roz...I doubt it...Jack has better ways to handle Mere's displeasure. ;)

      Hugs and blessings...Cat

      Delete
    3. Way to go, Mere...very happy for you two. :)

      Hugs and blessings...Cat

      Delete
  2. Thumbs up! Glad you took the dare, Cat! It was worth the read. I'll have to share them with my man and see which ones he agrees with! Thanks to you both!
    --Baker

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. LOL Baker...will be interesting to see how many of these the men agree with...might be easier to count how many they don't agree with. :)

      Hugs and blessings...Cat

      Delete
  3. Laughed all through these..and found myself nodding at more than a few...going to quiz Master...thanks Cat and Jack..hugs abby

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You're welcome, Abby...Hmmm...think Master will agree with most, if not all of them? ;)

      Hugs and blessings...Cat

      Delete
  4. I have read this somewhere before...and reading it again still makes me smile :-) thanks for the laugh Hugs

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I also remember reading something very similar a long time ago, Terps...yes, still makes me laugh. ;)

      Hugs and blessings...Cat

      Delete
  5. Cat,
    These are just plain funny. No two ways about it. Glad you accepted Jack's dare.
    Meredith

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. They are funny, Mere...has gotten me into trouble more than once but I usually don't back down from a dare. ;)

      Hugs and blessings...Cat

      Delete
  6. Thanks for the laugh Jack and Cat.

    Hugs Lindy xx

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You're welcome, Lindy...happy you enjoyed them. ;)

      Hugs and blessings...Cat

      Delete
  7. Hi Cat, oh dear, harsh but true!
    love Jan, xx

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. LOL Jan...it sure is. ;)

      Hugs and blessings...Cat

      Delete
  8. Yes quite a form of enlightenment! However the one about being fat????!!!! That would get someone murdered!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. LOL Minelle...don't ask the question if you don't want the answer. ;)

      Hugs and blessings...Cat

      Delete
  9. Hilarious, Cat. Thanks to Jack for this "Guide" to the male point of view. I know I am very guilty when it comes to telling Sam HOW to do something. Oh, and one can never have too many shoes.

    My favorite is Rule #1 :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Happy you enjoyed these, Ella. I agree...can never be too many shoes. Hmmm...since they are all numbered 1, which '1' is your favorite? The first in the list? LOL

      Hugs and blessings...Cat

      Delete
  10. Cat:
    I have read your blog for years, and this post, is without a doubt, your absolute best!!
    Jack: RIGHT ON MAN!!!!!!!!

    Rick










    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. LOL Rick...you crack me up. Happy you enjoyed it. ;)

      Hugs and blessings...Cat

      Delete
  11. LMAO.... 😊

    "If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear" All these years I thought that rule was one of my original rules... πŸ˜†

    Hilarious... Thank Jack for the dare, and you for posting it...

    peace and love
    1ManView


    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You are very welcome, 1MV...happy you enjoyed it. Who knows, maybe you told that rule to someone and that's how it ended up floating around until it got to my blog via Jack. ;)

      Hugs and blessings...Cat

      Delete
  12. The sofa one is soo true. My Sir loves sleeping on the sofa and when he isn't even in the dog house! πŸ˜†

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. LOL Daisy...my ex used to fall asleep on the sofa but as soon as he hit the bed he was wide awake. ;)

      Hugs and blessings...Cat

      Delete
    2. Ahh you now know why Cat ;)
      This post had my Sir in stitches πŸ˜‚

      Delete
    3. Happy your Sir enjoyed it, Daisy. :)

      Hugs and blessings...Cat

      Delete

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