Adult Content Warning

You have entered a site intended for ADULTS ONLY. If you are under the age of 18, or if it is illegal to view such material in your community, please exit this site immediately. This site contains mature content including but not limited to; articles, discussions, pictures and other materials that some people may find offensive. If such materials offend you, please exit this site immediately.

Friday, April 8, 2016

Pronunciation Challenge

The poem below is a condensed version of 'The Chaos' by Gerard Nolst Trenité, written in 1922. It features a ridiculous number of words that are difficult to pronounce, so don't feel bad if you have to refer to a dictionary. I certainly did!

If you fancy yourself something of a professional linguist, then this challenge is for you. English is notoriously difficult to learn, as the language has so many exceptions to the rules. Even for a native English speaker, this poem presents quite a few challenges! Check it out and see how you fare. If you can pronounce all of the words, you speak English better than 90% of the population. 
 
Here we go!

Dearest creature in creation,
Study English pronunciation.
I will teach you in my verse
Sounds like corpse, corps, horse, and worse.

I will keep you, Suzy, busy,
Make your head with heat grow dizzy.
Tear in eye, your dress will tear.
So shall I! Oh hear my prayer.
Just compare heart, beard, and heard,
Dies and diet, lord and word,
Sword and sward, retain and Britain.
(Mind the latter, how it's written.)

Now I surely will not plague you
With such words as plaque and ague.
But be careful how you speak:
Say break and steak, but bleak and streak;
Cloven, oven, how and low,
Script, receipt, show, poem, and toe.

Hear me say, devoid of trickery,
Daughter, laughter, and Terpsichore,
Typhoid, measles, topsails, aisles,
Exiles, similes, and reviles;
Scholar, vicar, and cigar,
Solar, mica, war and far;
One, anemone, Balmoral,
Kitchen, lichen, laundry, laurel;
Gertrude, German, wind and mind,
Scene, Melpomene, mankind.

Billet does not rhyme with ballet,
Bouquet, wallet, mallet, chalet.
Blood and flood are not like food,
Nor is mould like should and would.
Viscous, viscount, load and broad,
Toward, to forward, to reward.

And your pronunciation's OK
When you correctly say croquet,
Rounded, wounded, grieve and sieve,
Friend and fiend, alive and live.
Ivy, privy, famous; clamour
And enamour rhyme with hammer.

River, rival, tomb, bomb, comb,
Doll and roll and some and home.
Stranger does not rhyme with anger,
Neither does devour with clangour.

Souls but foul, haunt but aunt,
Font, front, wont, want, grand, and grant,
Shoes, goes, does. Now first say finger,
And then singer, ginger, linger,
Real, zeal, mauve, gauze, gouge and gauge,
Marriage, foliage, mirage, and age.

Query does not rhyme with very,
Nor does fury sound like bury.
Dost, lost, post and doth, cloth, loth,
Job, nob, bosom, transom, oath.

Though the differences seem little,
We say actual but victual.

Refer does not rhyme with deafer.
Foeffer does, and zephyr, heifer.
Mint, pint, senate and sedate;
Dull, bull, and George ate late.

Scenic, Arabic, Pacific,
Science, conscience, scientific.
Liberty, library, heave and heaven,
Rachel, ache, moustache, eleven.
We say hallowed, but allowed,
People, leopard, towed, but vowed.

Mark the differences, moreover,
Between mover, cover, clover;
Leeches, breeches, wise, precise,
Chalice, but police and lice;
Camel, constable, unstable,
Principle, disciple, label.
Petal, panel, and canal,
Wait, surprise, plait, promise, pal.
Worm and storm, chaise, chaos, chair,
Senator, spectator, mayor.
Tour, but our and succour, four.
Gas, alas, and Arkansas.
Sea, idea, Korea, area,
Psalm, Maria, but malaria.
Youth, south, southern, cleanse and clean.
Doctrine, turpentine, marine.

Compare alien with Italian,
Dandelion and battalion.
Sally with ally, yea, ye,
Eye, I, ay, aye, whey, and key.

Say aver, but ever, fever,
Neither, leisure, skein, deceiver.
Heron, granary, canary.
Crevice and device and aerie.
Face, but preface, not efface.
Phlegm, phlegmatic, ass, glass, bass.
Large, but target, gin, give, verging,
Ought, out, joust and scour, scourging.
Ear, but earn and wear and tear

Do not rhyme with here but ere.
Seven is right, but so is even,
Hyphen, roughen, nephew Stephen,
Monkey, donkey, Turk and jerk,
Ask, grasp, wasp, and cork and work.
Pronunciation -- think of Psyche!
Is a paling stout and spikey?

Won't it make you lose your wits,
Writing groats and saying grits?

It's a dark abyss or tunnel:
Strewn with stones, stowed, solace, gunwale,
Islington and Isle of Wight,
Housewife, verdict and indict.
Finally, which rhymes with enough --
Though, through, plough, or dough, or cough?
Hiccough has the sound of cup.
My advice is to give up!!!
Courtesy of Diply
So…how did you do? Winking smile

10 comments:

  1. I'll stick to Dr. Seuss thank you. Geesh

    Hugs,
    Clara

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. LOL Clara...took a while but I got through it with no errors. ;)

      Hugs and blessings...Cat

      Delete
  2. Good grief! lol Sheesh, I think I'm with Clara lol

    Hugs
    Roz

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It is a bit of a challenge isn't it, Roz. ;)

      Hugs and blessings...Cat

      Delete
  3. Well I am a geek...had to look up only one...what fun I could have had with this while teaching..I always did a fun Friday class...and this could have been used for lots of different ones. Thanks...
    abby

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh yes, Abby...hadn't even thought about all the different challenges you could have in class with this. Bet your students really enjoyed fun Friday. ;)

      Hugs and blessings...Cat

      Delete
  4. I think I know the proninciation of most words, but I would like to hear it read by a professional. Is that available on the internet?

    I liked this post, Cat.

    Greetings from

    appy

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I don't know if there is any professional reading this challenge, Appy...will have to do some checking. If I can't find any recording, maybe I can figure out a way to record and upload it.

      Hugs and blessings...Cat

      Delete
  5. Replies
    1. When you read it out loud, it takes a bit but it is fun. ;)

      Hugs and blessings...Cat

      Delete

Thanks for stopping by. Respectful comments are always welcome.