How to tell it’s Winter

Thanks to Meredith's Jack for sharing these sweet pics…

A Touching Story

Meredith's Jack, sent this one which is similar to one I shared awhile back but still funny so thought I’d share again.  

 

The Woman Marine Pilot

The teacher gave her fifth grade class an assignment:  Get their parents to tell them a story with a moral at the end of it.
 

The next day, the kids came back and, one by one, began to tell their stories.  There were all the regular types of stuff: spilled milk and pennies saved.  But then the teacher realized, much to her dismay, that she had missed Janie.
 

Janie, do you have a story to share?'
 

''Yes ma'am. My daddy told me a story about my Mommy. 
She was a Marine pilot in Desert Storm, and her plane got hit.
She had to bail out over enemy territory,
And all she had was a flask of whiskey, a pistol, and a survival knife.
She drank the whiskey on the way down so the bottle wouldn't break,
And then her parachute landed her right in the middle of 20 Iraqi troops.
She shot 15 of them with the pistol,
Until she ran out of bullets,
Killed four more with the knife,
Till the blade broke,
And then she killed the last Iraqi with her bare hands.
 

''Good Heavens,' said the horrified teacher.
'What did your Daddy tell you was the moral to this horrible story?"
 

"Stay away from Mommy when she's been drinking."

Hair Removal Cream Review

This Is the Best Review of Hair Removal Cream You Will Ever Read In Your Life
It's not every day that you laugh about hair removal, but if you don't after reading this stellar Amazon review for Veet for Men Hair Removal Creme, I'll assume that you hate happiness.

via: Amazon
Titled, "A warning from across the pond," they give it five stars and readers six paragraphs of pure entertainment.


 

I’m sold. 

Courtesy of 22 Words Rocks

Canadian Supermarket

Sharing a goodie from  Meredith's Jack, to kick off our week with a smaile.

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Sobeys, Gimli, Manitoba, Supermarket
It has an automatic a water mister to keep the produce fresh. 
 

Just before it goes on, you hear the sound of distant thunder and the smell of fresh rain.
 
 

When you pass the milk cases, you hear cows mooing and there is the scent of freshly mowed hay.
 
 

In the meat department there is the aroma of charcoal grilled steaks with onions.
 
 

When you approach the egg case, you hear hens clucking and cackling, and the air is filled with the pleasing aroma of bacon and eggs frying.
 
 

The bread department features the tantalizing smell of fresh baked bread and cookies.
 
 
I don't buy toilet paper there anymore.

Raise the Rent…

 

Red-Headed Babies

After their baby was born, the panicked father went to see the Obstetrician.

"Doctor," the man said, "I don't mind telling you, but I'm a little upset because my daughter has red hair. She can't possibly be mine!!"

"Nonsense," the doctor said, "Even though you and your wife both have black hair, one of your ancestors may have contributed red hair to the gene pool."

"It isn't possible" the man insisted. "This can't be, our families on both sides had jet-black hair for generations."

"Well, said the doctor, let me ask you this. How often do you have sex?"

The man seemed a bit ashamed..."I've been working very hard for the past year. We only made love once or twice every few months."

"Well, there you have it!" The doctor said confidently…"It's Rust!"  

Join the Marines

I’ve shared similar versions of this in the past but when this one came around, couldn’t resist sharing.  Hope you enjoy. 

Choices

Morning