Showing posts with label Laws. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Laws. Show all posts
Thursday, November 1, 2018
Friday, February 2, 2018
How Many Letters Do You Have to Your Name, Sir?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A cop stops a car for traveling faster than the posted speed limit. Since he's in a good mood that day he decides he might give the fellow a break and write him out a warning instead of a ticket.
So, he asks the man his name.
"Fred," the driver replies.
"Fred what?" the officer asks.
"Just Fred," the man responds.
When the officer presses him for a last name, the man tells him that he used to have a last name but lost it.
The officer thinks he has a nut case on his hands but plays along with it.
"Tell me Fred, how did you lose your last name?"
The man replies, "It's a long story so stay with me. I was born Fred Dingaling. I know, funny last name. The kids used to tease me all the time. So I stayed to myself. I studied hard and got good grades."
"When I got older I realized that I wanted to be a doctor. I went through college medical school, internship, residency, finally got my degree so I was Fred Dingaling, MD."
"After a while I got bored being a doctor so I decided to go back to school. Dentistry was my dream. Got all the way through school, got my degree so I was now Fred Dingaling, MD, DDS."
"Got bored doing dentistry so I started fooling around with my assistant. She gave me VD. So, I was Fred Dingaling, MD, DDS with VD."
"Well, the ADA found out about the VD so they took away my DDS so I was Fred Dingaling MD with VD."
"Then the AMA found out about the ADA taking away my DDS because of the VD, so they took away my MD leaving me as Fred Dingaling with VD."
Then the VD took away my dingaling . . . so now I'm just Fred."
The officer walked away in tears, laughing.
Courtesy of BabaMail
Thursday, September 21, 2017
Loopholes...
Here’s a short but very good giggle from our Meredith's Jack…
Two well-dressed lawyers went to an expensive restaurant…ordered 2 coffees and then took out sandwiches from their briefcases to eat.
Waitress: Sorry Sir!! But you can't eat your OWN food here...it’s against the rules.
The lawyers quietly looked at each other and EXCHANGED their sandwiches and continued their meals!!!
You can trust lawyers to find loopholes in any rules…
Two well-dressed lawyers went to an expensive restaurant…ordered 2 coffees and then took out sandwiches from their briefcases to eat.
Waitress: Sorry Sir!! But you can't eat your OWN food here...it’s against the rules.
The lawyers quietly looked at each other and EXCHANGED their sandwiches and continued their meals!!!
You can trust lawyers to find loopholes in any rules…
Wednesday, August 2, 2017
Sunday, July 9, 2017
Saturday, November 5, 2016
DST Fall 2016
As I’ve said before, I really believe this started out as a big joke with DST meaning for Dumb and Stupid Time and the government went for it!
Monday, September 5, 2016
Fussy Judge...
A couple arrived at town hall seconds before closing time, and caught a judge just as he was about to leave, and asked him to marry them.
He asked if they had a license and when they said they didn't, he sent them off to get one.
They caught the town clerk just as he was locking up, and got the license from him.
When they got back to the judge, he pointed out they had filled the names in wrong…with his where hers belonged and vice versa.
They rushed back to the clerk's office, caught him again, and got another license.
This time, the judge noticed that the clerk had filled in the date in the wrong format. Again they caught the clerk...and after five reissued licenses, the judge was finally satisfied.
Judge: "I hope you appreciate why I made you keep going back. If there are irregularities in the license, your marriage would not be legal, and any children you might have would be technical bastards."
Groom: "That's funny…that's just what the clerk called you."
Oops!
He asked if they had a license and when they said they didn't, he sent them off to get one.
They caught the town clerk just as he was locking up, and got the license from him.
When they got back to the judge, he pointed out they had filled the names in wrong…with his where hers belonged and vice versa.
They rushed back to the clerk's office, caught him again, and got another license.
This time, the judge noticed that the clerk had filled in the date in the wrong format. Again they caught the clerk...and after five reissued licenses, the judge was finally satisfied.
Judge: "I hope you appreciate why I made you keep going back. If there are irregularities in the license, your marriage would not be legal, and any children you might have would be technical bastards."
Groom: "That's funny…that's just what the clerk called you."
Oops!
Thursday, March 31, 2016
Sunday, January 24, 2016
Strolling Along
No one believes seniors, everyone thinks they are senile.
An elderly couple were celebrating their sixtieth anniversary. The couple had married as childhood sweethearts and had moved back to their old neighborhood after they retired. Holding hands they walked back to their old school. It was not locked, so they entered, and found the old desk they’d shared, where Andy had carved “I love you, Sally.”
On their way back home, a bag of money fell out of an armored car, practically landing at their feet. Sally quickly picked it up, but not sure what to do with it, they took it home. There, she counted the money–fifty-thousand dollars.
Andy said, “We’ve got to give it back.”
Sally said, “Finders keepers.” She put the money back in the bag and hid it in their attic.
The next day, two FBI men were canvassing the neighborhood looking for the money, and knock on the door. “Pardon me, but did either of you find a bag that fell out of an armored car yesterday?”
Sally said, “No.”
Andy said, “She’s lying. She hid it up in the attic.”
Sally said, “Don’t believe him, he’s getting senile.”
The agents turn to Andy and began to question him.
One says: “Tell us the story from the beginning.”
Andy said, “Well, when Sally and I were walking home from school yesterday.”
The first FBI guy turns to his partner and says, “We’re out of here.”
An elderly couple were celebrating their sixtieth anniversary. The couple had married as childhood sweethearts and had moved back to their old neighborhood after they retired. Holding hands they walked back to their old school. It was not locked, so they entered, and found the old desk they’d shared, where Andy had carved “I love you, Sally.”
On their way back home, a bag of money fell out of an armored car, practically landing at their feet. Sally quickly picked it up, but not sure what to do with it, they took it home. There, she counted the money–fifty-thousand dollars.
Andy said, “We’ve got to give it back.”
Sally said, “Finders keepers.” She put the money back in the bag and hid it in their attic.
The next day, two FBI men were canvassing the neighborhood looking for the money, and knock on the door. “Pardon me, but did either of you find a bag that fell out of an armored car yesterday?”
Sally said, “No.”
Andy said, “She’s lying. She hid it up in the attic.”
Sally said, “Don’t believe him, he’s getting senile.”
The agents turn to Andy and began to question him.
One says: “Tell us the story from the beginning.”
Andy said, “Well, when Sally and I were walking home from school yesterday.”
The first FBI guy turns to his partner and says, “We’re out of here.”
Wednesday, November 11, 2015
Fishing
Two blondes are in a river holding fishing poles with the lines in the water. A game warden comes up behind them, taps them on the shoulder and says, "Excuse me, ladies, I'd like to see your fishing licenses."
"We don't have any." replied the first woman.
"Well, if your going to fish, you need fishing licenses." said the game warden.
"But officer," replied the second girl, "we aren't fishing. All we have are magnets at the end of our lines and we're collecting debris off the bottom of the river."
The game warden lifted up the lines and, sure enough, there were horseshoe magnets tied on the end of each line. "Well, I know of no law against it," shrugged the game warden, "take all the debris you want."
And with that, the game warden left.
As soon as he was out of sight, the women started laughing hysterically. "What a dumb Fish Cop! Doesn't he know that there are steelheads in this river?!"
Thursday, March 19, 2015
An Englishman in France
Study the picture first and then read the story.
This happened to an Englishman in France who was totally drunk.
The French policeman stops his car and asks the gentleman if he has been drinking.
With great difficulty, the Englishman admits that he has been drinking all day, that his daughter got married in the morning to a French man, and that he drank champagne and a few bottles of wine at the reception and quite a few glasses of single malt thereafter.
Quite upset, the policeman proceeds to alcotest (breath test) him and asks the Englishman if he knows under French Law why he is going to be arrested.
The Englishman answers with humour. No sir, I do not!
But while we're asking questions, do you know that this is a British car and my wife is driving...on the other side?
Friday, April 11, 2014
Repeat That Please!
Worker's Comp Covers Sex Mishap
Dec 17, 6:17 AM (ET)
By ROD McGUIRK
CANBERRA, Australia (AP) - An Australian court has ruled that a bureaucrat who was injured while having sex on a business trip is eligible for worker's compensation benefits.
The Full Bench of the Federal Court ruled Dec. 13 in favor of the woman, who cannot be identified for legal reasons, and rejecting the appeal of the federal government's insurer.
The woman was hospitalized after being injured in 2007 during sex with a male friend while staying in a motel in the town of Nowra, 160 kilometers (100 miles) south of her hometown of Sydney.
During the sex, a glass light fitting was torn from its mount above the bed and landed on her face, injuring her nose and mouth. She later suffered depression and was unable to continue working for the government.
Her claim for worker's compensation for her physical and psychological injuries was initially approved by government insurer Comcare, then rejected after further investigation.
An administrative tribunal agreed with Comcare that her injuries were not suffered in the course of her employment, saying the government had not induced or encouraged the woman's sexual conduct. The tribunal also found the sex was "not an ordinary incident of an overnight stay" such as showering, sleeping and eating.
That ruling was overturned in the Federal Court in 2012, when Judge John Nicholas rejected the tribunal's findings that the sex had to be condoned by the government if she were to qualify for compensation.
"If the applicant had been injured while playing a game of cards in her motel room, she would be entitled to compensation even though it could not be said that her employer induced her to engage in such activity," Nicholas wrote in his judgment in favor of the woman receiving compensation.
In the Full Bench decision upholding Nicholas' decision, Judges Patrick Keane, Robert Buchanan and Mordy Bromberg agreed last week that the government's views on the woman having sex in her motel room were irrelevant.
"No approval, express or implied, of the respondent's conduct was required," they said.
It is not yet clear how much compensation the woman will receive. She was in her 30s at the time of the accident.
Comcare was on Monday considering an appeal to the High Court, Australia's highest legal authority, Comcare spokesman Russ Street said.
"The issue is a significant one," Street said in a statement. "Workers need to be clear about their entitlements and employers should have an understanding of their responsibilities and how to support their staff."
Dec 17, 6:17 AM (ET)
By ROD McGUIRK
CANBERRA, Australia (AP) - An Australian court has ruled that a bureaucrat who was injured while having sex on a business trip is eligible for worker's compensation benefits.
The Full Bench of the Federal Court ruled Dec. 13 in favor of the woman, who cannot be identified for legal reasons, and rejecting the appeal of the federal government's insurer.
The woman was hospitalized after being injured in 2007 during sex with a male friend while staying in a motel in the town of Nowra, 160 kilometers (100 miles) south of her hometown of Sydney.
During the sex, a glass light fitting was torn from its mount above the bed and landed on her face, injuring her nose and mouth. She later suffered depression and was unable to continue working for the government.
Her claim for worker's compensation for her physical and psychological injuries was initially approved by government insurer Comcare, then rejected after further investigation.
An administrative tribunal agreed with Comcare that her injuries were not suffered in the course of her employment, saying the government had not induced or encouraged the woman's sexual conduct. The tribunal also found the sex was "not an ordinary incident of an overnight stay" such as showering, sleeping and eating.
That ruling was overturned in the Federal Court in 2012, when Judge John Nicholas rejected the tribunal's findings that the sex had to be condoned by the government if she were to qualify for compensation.
"If the applicant had been injured while playing a game of cards in her motel room, she would be entitled to compensation even though it could not be said that her employer induced her to engage in such activity," Nicholas wrote in his judgment in favor of the woman receiving compensation.
In the Full Bench decision upholding Nicholas' decision, Judges Patrick Keane, Robert Buchanan and Mordy Bromberg agreed last week that the government's views on the woman having sex in her motel room were irrelevant.
"No approval, express or implied, of the respondent's conduct was required," they said.
It is not yet clear how much compensation the woman will receive. She was in her 30s at the time of the accident.
Comcare was on Monday considering an appeal to the High Court, Australia's highest legal authority, Comcare spokesman Russ Street said.
"The issue is a significant one," Street said in a statement. "Workers need to be clear about their entitlements and employers should have an understanding of their responsibilities and how to support their staff."
Courtesy of AP News
Oh good gravy!
Saturday, March 15, 2014
Tuesday, January 14, 2014
Funny Laws
Corsets Not Allowed!
Merryville, Missouri prohibits women from wearing corsets. Why you may ask? The law states, "the privilege of admiring the curvaceous, unencumbered body of a young woman should not be denied to the normal, red-blooded American male." Oh really? And of course, her “rights” or even “wishes” are not important.
In Santa Cruz, Bolivia, it is illegal for a man to have sex with a mother and her daughter at the same time. Seems like they need to plan alternate date nights!
Ewwww
In Michigan, a law is on the books that threatens five years of imprisonment for any man who seduces and corrupts an unmarried girl. Something tells us this one doesn't get prosecuted all that often. Think the key is “seduces AND corrupts” so even if she is seduced…ya gotta prove she wasn’t previously corrupted.
In Willowdale, Oregon it is illegal for a man to curse during sex. No more naughty name calling! Oops!
In Mississippi, an act of "unnatural intercourse," if both parties voluntarily consent, can result in a maximum prison sentence of 10 years and fine of $10,000. Godspeed to whoever learns exactly what kind of intercourse Mississippi constitutes to be "unnatural." Yup…would definitely be interested in hearing their definition of “unnatural.”
In Fairbanks, Alaska, even the moose are not allowed to have sex in the streets! When two moose love each other very much... Did anyone inform the moose of this law? And just how is it enforced? Arrest that moose!
Some of these might be duplicates as these float around in emails but they are still funny.
Hope you enjoy!
Merryville, Missouri prohibits women from wearing corsets. Why you may ask? The law states, "the privilege of admiring the curvaceous, unencumbered body of a young woman should not be denied to the normal, red-blooded American male." Oh really? And of course, her “rights” or even “wishes” are not important.
No Marriage for Me!
In Cali, Columbia it is a law for the bride's mother to be in the room to witness the act of sex on her wedding night. Mom in the room is definitely not a turn on. Good luck with that! Oh yes…I am sure that this is such a turn on for the bride and groom!Sex With Satan!
It is a law in Bakersfield, California that you must wear a condom when having sex with Satan. Apparently the spawn of Satan isn't welcome in Bakersfield! Can’t quite decide if they are saying Satan is gay or a female.Alternating Between Family Members
In Santa Cruz, Bolivia, it is illegal for a man to have sex with a mother and her daughter at the same time. Seems like they need to plan alternate date nights!
Ewwww
Masturbation Can Result In Death!
In Indonesia it is illegal to masturbate and it is punishable by decapitation. How are the Indonesian masturbation police going to know? Do you report yourself? Better make sure all doors are locked and curtains closed tightly!Nevada Has a Tough Stance on Condoms
It is illegal to have sex without a condom in Nevada. Way to promote safe sex! As with so many of these laws, how are they gonna know?Wedding Day
In Oblong, Illinois it is illegal to make love while you are hunting or fishing on your wedding day. Better rethink that honeymoon camping trip! Alrighty then…Lips Off
In Florida, there is a law on the books that says a man may not kiss his wife's breasts. The Florida law that makes having sexual relations with a porcupine illegal is understandable...but no lip love for breasts? Come on, Florida! I really do have to wonder what was behind this law being written!
Art of Seduction
In Michigan, a law is on the books that threatens five years of imprisonment for any man who seduces and corrupts an unmarried girl. Something tells us this one doesn't get prosecuted all that often. Think the key is “seduces AND corrupts” so even if she is seduced…ya gotta prove she wasn’t previously corrupted.
Missionary or Miss Out
In North Carolina, the only acceptable sex position is missionary, and you may only engage in missionary-style sex when the shades are pulled. OMG…got a feeling that every single person in blog land has broken this law if they have been in North Carolina! LOLIf You Don't Have Anything Nice to Say...
In Willowdale, Oregon it is illegal for a man to curse during sex. No more naughty name calling! Oops!
Getting Unnatural in Mississippi
In Mississippi, an act of "unnatural intercourse," if both parties voluntarily consent, can result in a maximum prison sentence of 10 years and fine of $10,000. Godspeed to whoever learns exactly what kind of intercourse Mississippi constitutes to be "unnatural." Yup…would definitely be interested in hearing their definition of “unnatural.”
Turn Off That Meter
In Massachusetts, taxi drivers are prohibited from making love in the front seat of their taxi during their shifts. So…they could make love in the front seat of their taxi before or after their shifts?I Now Pronounce You Moose & Moose
In Fairbanks, Alaska, even the moose are not allowed to have sex in the streets! When two moose love each other very much... Did anyone inform the moose of this law? And just how is it enforced? Arrest that moose!
Courtesy of gizmopod.com
Some of these might be duplicates as these float around in emails but they are still funny.
Hope you enjoy!
Friday, January 3, 2014
Funny French Laws
And you thought that only the US had odd laws!
1. You Can Legally Marry a Dead Person
I can imagine your reactions already:
Wait, what?!
Um, gross...
That's... I... but... why?
Score! Time to move to France.
Okay, not so much the last one. But it's true! It is legal to marry a dead person in France. But they have some stipulations, of course! The couple has to have been engaged prior to the person's death, with obvious intent to go through with the wedding.
At least the corpse isn't getting married against his/her will, right?
2. No Jerry Lewis Masks For You
If you're planning a big Jerry Lewis-themed masquerade ball in Cannes, France, you might want to find a new theme!
Don't you know that wearing Jerry Lewis masks is illegal there? I know how common these parties are, but unless you want to pay a large fine, either cancel the shindig or find another location. Don't say we didn't warn you!
3. Hey There, Dollface
In France, it is illegal to sell dolls without human faces. That means your E.T. doll is illegal, my friend! Come on, though. Let's be serious. Do any dolls actually look human?
4. Onions Get the Right of Way
If you're walking along the street in Paris and you come upon a man carrying onions, get out of the way!
Onion-carrying garçons always get the right of way!
So I guess if you really want to get somewhere in a hurry, grab a pile of onions to speed up your trip!
5. Illegal For Women To Wear Trousers
In these modern times, you might think that most progressive societies have accepted that women like to wear pants. But in Paris, it is still illegal for women to wear trousers!
They have a few exceptions, like:
6. Illegal To Kiss on Railways
You know those adorable photos of people kissing on railroad tracks?
Well, you shouldn't try to have that photo shoot in France!
It is illegal to kiss on railways there.
This actually seems like a pretty practical law.
Would you want to be run over by a train because you were too busy sucking face to pay attention?
I think not!
7. Illegal To Take Photos of Police Officers
In Antibes, it is 100% illegal to take pictures of police officers or their vehicles.
If you're the type of person who hates to be photographed, this could be a strategic career move! It would be pretty cool to arrest people for going against your wishes, eh?
8. Pigs Named Napoleon
If you decide to live in France and buy a pet pig, make sure to abide by this important law:
Whatever you do, don't name it Napoleon!
If you do, you'll be breaking the law.
Why not stick with a more traditional name, like Gordy or Babe?
9. French Music on the Radio
If you're listening to the radio in France between the hours of 8am-8pm, don't expect to hear very much American music.
Why?
Because according to law, 70% of music played on the radio during those hours has to be performed by French artists.
10. Breathalyzer Tests
If you thought American DUI laws were harsh, just wait until you hear about this French law!
In France, every car must have a breathalyzer kit in the glove compartment at all times.
If a driver is found to not have one, he or she will get a fine of 11 euros!
1. You Can Legally Marry a Dead Person
I can imagine your reactions already:
Wait, what?!
Um, gross...
That's... I... but... why?
Score! Time to move to France.
Okay, not so much the last one. But it's true! It is legal to marry a dead person in France. But they have some stipulations, of course! The couple has to have been engaged prior to the person's death, with obvious intent to go through with the wedding.
At least the corpse isn't getting married against his/her will, right?
2. No Jerry Lewis Masks For You
If you're planning a big Jerry Lewis-themed masquerade ball in Cannes, France, you might want to find a new theme!
Don't you know that wearing Jerry Lewis masks is illegal there? I know how common these parties are, but unless you want to pay a large fine, either cancel the shindig or find another location. Don't say we didn't warn you!
3. Hey There, Dollface
In France, it is illegal to sell dolls without human faces. That means your E.T. doll is illegal, my friend! Come on, though. Let's be serious. Do any dolls actually look human?
4. Onions Get the Right of Way
If you're walking along the street in Paris and you come upon a man carrying onions, get out of the way!
Onion-carrying garçons always get the right of way!
So I guess if you really want to get somewhere in a hurry, grab a pile of onions to speed up your trip!
5. Illegal For Women To Wear Trousers
In these modern times, you might think that most progressive societies have accepted that women like to wear pants. But in Paris, it is still illegal for women to wear trousers!
They have a few exceptions, like:
- When a woman is riding a horse
- When a woman is riding a bike
6. Illegal To Kiss on Railways
You know those adorable photos of people kissing on railroad tracks?
Well, you shouldn't try to have that photo shoot in France!
It is illegal to kiss on railways there.
This actually seems like a pretty practical law.
Would you want to be run over by a train because you were too busy sucking face to pay attention?
I think not!
7. Illegal To Take Photos of Police Officers
In Antibes, it is 100% illegal to take pictures of police officers or their vehicles.
If you're the type of person who hates to be photographed, this could be a strategic career move! It would be pretty cool to arrest people for going against your wishes, eh?
8. Pigs Named Napoleon
If you decide to live in France and buy a pet pig, make sure to abide by this important law:
Whatever you do, don't name it Napoleon!
If you do, you'll be breaking the law.
Why not stick with a more traditional name, like Gordy or Babe?
9. French Music on the Radio
If you're listening to the radio in France between the hours of 8am-8pm, don't expect to hear very much American music.
Why?
Because according to law, 70% of music played on the radio during those hours has to be performed by French artists.
10. Breathalyzer Tests
If you thought American DUI laws were harsh, just wait until you hear about this French law!
In France, every car must have a breathalyzer kit in the glove compartment at all times.
If a driver is found to not have one, he or she will get a fine of 11 euros!
Courtesy of chacha.com
Monday, August 26, 2013
Crazy Laws That Really Exist!!!
Written permission…verbal won’t do! 
How about Tigers?
So if you want 4 Deer, you challenge someone you know is not going to accept?
I would be tempted to pay the fine just to see how this is accomplished!
So you can shoot a while driving down the 101 Highway?!?
How in the heck would they manage to do that anyway?!?
Only prohibited for 12 hours?
Guess they all have to go to one of the ‘border’ states! 
Okay…so I can throw a ‘good’ pickle in the street?
Oh I do like this law! 
I do enjoy my guns but…Seriously? Legal?
Oh good gravy!
Hope it’s also illegal to use one!
Only if it causes laughter…
And just how do they intend to collect this fine?
Not even gonna ask!
Courtesy of Its Ladies Night
Friday, July 19, 2013
Random Laws
Totally Random and Obscure Laws that Actually Exist
12 of the weirdest and most useless laws in America! #1 is insane!
12 of the weirdest and most useless laws in America! #1 is insane!
#12 No margarine
In the state of Wisconsin, it's illegal to serve butter substitutes in state prisons. It's actually healthier to have butter anyway, so our guess is the state legislators are watching out for their inmates?#11 DUI down
If you desperately must have personalized license plates, then don't get slapped with a DUI in New Jersey… or just don't drink and drive OR live in the state of New Jersey. The law there states that once you have been convicted of drunk driving, you may never again have personalized plates!#10 Take down the trimmings
Unfortunately, Maine as a state does not tolerate Christmas lights and wreaths past January 14th. It is illegal in Maine to have your Christmas decorations up past that date!#9 Bingo time
In North Carolina, grandma isn't allowed to play bingo for more than five hours. No marathon in this state!#8 Watch out!
We're not sure what kind of murderer would have the foresight to wear a bulletproof vest while committing his or her crime, but in the state of New Jersey, it's actually illegal to wear one when committing murder!#7 Party of…
What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas. Maybe that's because you're not allowed to buy drinks for more than three people at a time. Yes, it's true -- that's an actual Nevada law!#6 Three little bears
In Alaska, hunting is a regular thing. Shooting bears is a regular thing. And it's totally ok for you to wake a bear up by shooting it (if you sorta miss). However, it's illegal in Alaska to wake a sleeping bear merely to take a picture of or with it!#5 No German fare
Beer and pretzels… that sure sounds like our kind of sports bar game night appetizer! Too bad we'll never visit North Dakota for this reason. It's illegal there for a restaurant to serve both pretzels and beer at the same time!#4 Arcade age
Do you think there's too much violence in video games for kids under the age of 18? Are you concerned that arcades are a bad influence? Well, there's a place for you -- South Carolina deems it illegal for anyone under the age of 18 to play a pinball machine.#3 No bear hug
In the state of Missouri, it is illegal to drive with an uncaged bear. We're assuming that this means it's ok to transport bears from zoo to zoo as long as they're in cages, but there's no random cab hopping for your friendly backyard guest!#2 Heavy hearts
In the state of Idaho, it's illegal for a man to give his love a box of candy weighing more than 50 pounds. So we guess there's no chance our lover in Idaho's gonna be sending us that fantasy jumbo Toblerone gift basket.#1 Drunk fish
In the state of Ohio, it's illegal to get a fish drunk. We're not sure why you would want to in the first place, but there it is!
Courtesy of Randomly Funny $tuff
Monday, March 4, 2013
Overdue Rent
Former Citizen of the Year Accused of Spanking Man
By Lawrence BuddStaff Writer
A local business leader, Waynesville’s Citizen of the Year in 2006, is facing an assault charge accusing him of spanking a 29-year-old male tenant in a dispute over more than $2,000 in overdue rent.
Ron Kronenberger, 53, of Waynesville is scheduled for arraignment at 1 p.m. Thursday on an assault charge stemming from the Jan. 22 incident at his office at the Hometown Marketplace, a supermarket he owns in Waynesville.
Kronenberger is accused of striking the alleged victim four times on the buttocks with a belt. Pictures taken showed “little marks,” according to a police report.
“If you’re going to act like a child, I’m going to treat you like one,” Kronenberger said before the alleged assault, according to the report.
Kronenberger, past president of the Waynesville Area Chamber of Commerce, could not be reached for comment and declined to make a statement to police, according to reports. His lawyer, Lawrence Greger, could not be reached.
In response to questions from Police Chief Gary Copeland, the alleged victim said “he was scared and just wanted to get it over with,” according to the report.
“At this point, Chief left to attempt to make contact with Ron Kronenberger about the incident, in which Ron admits whipping (the victim) due to late rent payment in the amount of $2,800,” Officer Daniel Bledsoe said in the report narrative.
Kronenberger remains free after missing his original arraignment, according to records in Warren County Court. He is charged with one count of assault, usually a first-degree misdemeanor.
Courtesy of http://www.daytondailynews.com/news/news/crime-law/former-waynesville-citizen-of-the-year-accused-of-/
Got a funny feeling the landlord is actually a spanko. LOL
The “victim”, a grown 29 year old man, willingly dropped his pants and in his own words “…just wanted to get it over with.” Then he runs to to police and cries assault? Why? Maybe he thought that the spanking would get him out of paying the rent and found out it wouldn’t? What do you think?
Wednesday, December 26, 2012
Dumb Laws in Alabama
Many of the laws below have been verified, but many have been taken from websites that do not include law citations. The laws have been taken from newsgroups, websites, and visitor comments to various sites. All of the following are true as far as I know but not sure how many are still on the books.
Bear wrestling matches are prohibited.
Incestuous marriages are legal. (OMG – no thank you!)
It is illegal to impersonate a person of the clergy.
It is illegal to maim oneself to escape duty.
It is considered an offense to open an umbrella on a street, for fear of spooking horses.
It is illegal to sell peanuts in Lee County after sundown on Wednesday. (????)
Dominoes may not be played on Sunday.
It is illegal to wear a fake moustache that causes laughter in church. (What fake mustache doesn’t cause laughter?)
Putting salt on a railroad track may be punishable by death. (Death? Sheesh!)
Boogers may not be flicked into the wind. (How about not at all! Yuck!!!)
It is legal to drive the wrong way down a one-way street if you have a lantern attached to the front of your automobile.
You must have windshield wipers on your car. (And working, I would hope.)
You may not have an ice cream cone in your back pocket at any time. (And why would I want to?)
Masks may not be worn in public. (Well there goes Halloween)
Women are able to retain all property they owned prior to marriage in the case of divorce. However, this provision does not apply to men. (LOL)
It is illegal for a driver to be blindfolded while operating a vehicle. (Well I would hope so!)
)
Men who deflower virgins, regardless of age or marital status, may face up to five years in jail. (So wondering how they get deflowered )
ROFLMBO
Bear wrestling matches are prohibited.
Incestuous marriages are legal. (OMG – no thank you!)
It is illegal to impersonate a person of the clergy.
It is illegal to maim oneself to escape duty.
It is considered an offense to open an umbrella on a street, for fear of spooking horses.
It is illegal to sell peanuts in Lee County after sundown on Wednesday. (????)
Dominoes may not be played on Sunday.
It is illegal to wear a fake moustache that causes laughter in church. (What fake mustache doesn’t cause laughter?)
Putting salt on a railroad track may be punishable by death. (Death? Sheesh!)
Boogers may not be flicked into the wind. (How about not at all! Yuck!!!)
It is legal to drive the wrong way down a one-way street if you have a lantern attached to the front of your automobile.
You must have windshield wipers on your car. (And working, I would hope.)
You may not have an ice cream cone in your back pocket at any time. (And why would I want to?)
Masks may not be worn in public. (Well there goes Halloween)
Women are able to retain all property they owned prior to marriage in the case of divorce. However, this provision does not apply to men. (LOL)
It is illegal for a driver to be blindfolded while operating a vehicle. (Well I would hope so!)
City Laws in Alabama
Anniston
You may not wear blue jeans down Noble Street. (Oops)Auburn
No person may spit on the floor of a church.Men who deflower virgins, regardless of age or marital status, may face up to five years in jail. (So wondering how they get deflowered
)ROFLMBO
Saturday, December 1, 2012
Dumb Laws in Arizona
Many of the laws below have been verified, but many have been taken from websites that do not include law citations. The laws have been taken from newsgroups, websites, and visitor comments to various sites. All of the following are true as far as I know but not sure how many are still on the books.
Hunting camels is prohibited. (Well darn the bad luck. And there are so many to hunt in Arizona!)
Any misdemeanor committed while wearing a red mask is considered a felony. (Okaaaay)
There is a possible 25 years in prison for cutting down a cactus. (Guess Arizona takes it cactus very seriously
)
Donkeys cannot sleep in bathtubs. (That’s good – wouldn’t want to clean it afterwards)
A class 2 misdemeanor occurs if one places a mark upon a flag which is “likely to provoke physical retaliation”.
It is illegal to manufacture imitation cocaine. (So authentic is ok?)
A man can legally beat his wife, but not more than once a month. (Hmmm…anyone moving soon?
)
It is illegal to take naked photographs before noon on Sunday.
Oral sex is considered to be sodomy. (Uh Oh…)
When being attacked by a criminal or burglar, you may only protect yourself with the same weapon that the other person possesses. (Note: The same weapon, not same type of weapon. So here’s the plan – grab the weapon and attack them – riiight.)
It is unlawful to refuse a person a glass of water.
You may not have more than two dildos in a house. (I know some people who better not move to Arizona! teehee)
City Laws in Arizona
Glendale: Cars may not be driven in reverse. (Wonder how they get out of the driveway)
Globe: Cards may not be played in the street with a Native American. (Not a good place to play cards anyway)
Hayden: If you bother the cottontails or bullfrogs, you will be fined. (Umm – what do you consider ‘bother’?)
Maricopa County: No more than six girls may live in any house. (There goes the sorority houses. And what do you do with that extra daughter?)
Mesa: It is illegal to smoke cigarettes within 15 feet of a public place unless you have a Class 12 liqueur license. (scratching head on this one…)
Mohave County: A decree declares that anyone caught stealing soap must wash himself with it until it is all used up. (A clean thief
)
Nogales: An ordinance prohibits the wearing of suspenders. (???)
Prescott: No one is permitted to ride their horse up the stairs of the county court house. (And I would want to why?)
Tempe: One must be 18 years old to buy spray paint.
Tombstone: It is illegal for men and women over the age of 18 to have less than one missing tooth visible when smiling. (Gotta get rid of some teeth if you’re going here. ROFL)
Tucson: Women may not wear pants. (Oops – guess I broke the law last time I was there)
ROFLMBO
Hunting camels is prohibited. (Well darn the bad luck. And there are so many to hunt in Arizona!)
Any misdemeanor committed while wearing a red mask is considered a felony. (Okaaaay)
There is a possible 25 years in prison for cutting down a cactus. (Guess Arizona takes it cactus very seriously
) Donkeys cannot sleep in bathtubs. (That’s good – wouldn’t want to clean it afterwards)
A class 2 misdemeanor occurs if one places a mark upon a flag which is “likely to provoke physical retaliation”.
It is illegal to manufacture imitation cocaine. (So authentic is ok?)
A man can legally beat his wife, but not more than once a month. (Hmmm…anyone moving soon?
) It is illegal to take naked photographs before noon on Sunday.
Oral sex is considered to be sodomy. (Uh Oh…)
When being attacked by a criminal or burglar, you may only protect yourself with the same weapon that the other person possesses. (Note: The same weapon, not same type of weapon. So here’s the plan – grab the weapon and attack them – riiight.)
It is unlawful to refuse a person a glass of water.
You may not have more than two dildos in a house. (I know some people who better not move to Arizona! teehee)
City Laws in Arizona
Glendale: Cars may not be driven in reverse. (Wonder how they get out of the driveway)
Globe: Cards may not be played in the street with a Native American. (Not a good place to play cards anyway)
Hayden: If you bother the cottontails or bullfrogs, you will be fined. (Umm – what do you consider ‘bother’?)
Maricopa County: No more than six girls may live in any house. (There goes the sorority houses. And what do you do with that extra daughter?)
Mesa: It is illegal to smoke cigarettes within 15 feet of a public place unless you have a Class 12 liqueur license. (scratching head on this one…)
Mohave County: A decree declares that anyone caught stealing soap must wash himself with it until it is all used up. (A clean thief
) Nogales: An ordinance prohibits the wearing of suspenders. (???)
Prescott: No one is permitted to ride their horse up the stairs of the county court house. (And I would want to why?)
Tempe: One must be 18 years old to buy spray paint.
Tombstone: It is illegal for men and women over the age of 18 to have less than one missing tooth visible when smiling. (Gotta get rid of some teeth if you’re going here. ROFL)
Tucson: Women may not wear pants. (Oops – guess I broke the law last time I was there)
ROFLMBO
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