An old lady walks into a plastic surgeon's office and tells him she wants a facelift.
He says "Well, we have three models. The first is for $1000 and is guaranteed for one year, the second is $3000 and is guaranteed for 3 years and the last is $5000 and it is guaranteed for 5 years."
The old lady says "Well tell me about them."
The doctor says, "For $1000 you are going to get a half-ass job that you pay very little for."
She responds, "Forget that one, what about the next one."
He explains, "For $3000 we do a much better job and pay close attention to detail, but it is only guaranteed for 3 years."
The lady says, "No, that's no good either, what about the last one."
The doctor replies, "For $5000 you are going to get the best facelift with a feature that is on the cutting edge of plastic surgery. There will be a screw attached to the back of your head and if you notice your face sagging, just come back in and we will tighten the screw."
The lady is delighted and has the surgery.
About 6 months later she comes back to the office very upset. "Doctor, I want my money back because I look horrible. Look at these bags under my eyes!"
The doctor leans back in his chair and says, "Lady you aren't getting anything back. Those bags under your eyes are your tits and if you keep messing with that screw, you're going to have a mustache."
ROFLMBO!
Want to read some awesome stories by some of our wonderful blogland authors? Don’t forget about the Spank or Treat blog hop…click here or on the sidebar button to go directly to the main page with a listing of all participating authors!
Wishing you a wonderful weekend!
Showing posts with label Spank or Treat. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Spank or Treat. Show all posts
Friday, October 25, 2013
Tuesday, October 22, 2013
Spank or Treat 2013!
IF THE BROOMSTICK FITS, RIDE IT!!!
Do you like spanking stories, prizes, and Halloween? Do you miss the days when kids came to your door asking for candy, or when you were young enough to do the trick-or-treating? You’re in luck! Spank or Treat 2012 was so much fun that we’ve brought you a bigger and better collective short story extravaganza for 2013. It’s trick-or-treating for adults, and we do mean adults!
Want to become a Spank or Treat ambassador and earn an extra prize entry? See below!
Even better, participation could earn you a GRAND PRIZE!
What’s the catch? Absolutely nothing! We love writing for you and want to thank you for your readership. Perhaps someone might get a spanking or two, but that’s a reward rather than a catch, right?
Here are the rules:
For more information, updates, and a list of participating authors, please visit Anastasia Vitsky’s blog.
Like Spank or Treat on Facebook!
Tweet #spankortreat on Twitter!
Do you like spanking stories, prizes, and Halloween? Do you miss the days when kids came to your door asking for candy, or when you were young enough to do the trick-or-treating? You’re in luck! Spank or Treat 2012 was so much fun that we’ve brought you a bigger and better collective short story extravaganza for 2013. It’s trick-or-treating for adults, and we do mean adults!
Want to become a Spank or Treat ambassador and earn an extra prize entry? See below!
Even better, participation could earn you a GRAND PRIZE!
- Kindle Fire or Nook HD (winner’s choice)!
(donated by Blushing Books) - $100 gift certificate to LazyDay
(donated by LazyDay Publishing) - $50 gift certificate to Blushing Books(donated by Blushing Books)
- $20 gift certificate to Amazon!
(donated by Stormy Night Publications) - Custom-made Spank or Treat paddle*!
(donated by Blondie’s Place)
*Available to US and Canada participants only - Six-month membership to Discipline and Desire!
(donated by Discipline and Desire) - Book Bundle from Decadent Publishing
(Donated by Decadent Publishing)
- Pre-publication consultation of a manuscript up to 15K(donated by Wizards in Publishing)
- Holding Hannah, by Maren Smith
Available to the first 50 participants!
- Love’s Reprise, by Cassandre Dayne, Lucy Felthouse, Olivia Starke, Kate Richards, and Anastasia Vitsky
- Coming to Terms, by Cara Bristol, Jade Cary, Alta Hensley, Celeste Jones, Sue Lyndon, Renee Rose, and Anastasia VitskyAvailable to ALL participants who complete the Spank or Treat 2013 challenge!
What’s the catch? Absolutely nothing! We love writing for you and want to thank you for your readership. Perhaps someone might get a spanking or two, but that’s a reward rather than a catch, right?
Here are the rules:
- Visit each blog between the Friday, October 25th and Sunday, October 27th to read the posted stories and excerpts.
- Leave a comment answering the story question on each blog. You will receive one entry per blog for the grand prize drawing. You will also be automatically entered in that author’s individual contest, if she has one.
- If you have visited all of the blogs, visit Ana’s blog to sign up for FIVE bonus entries to the grand prize.
Deadline is midnight EDT (UTC -4) on October 27th!! - If you successfully completed the Spankee Doodle, Love Spanks, or last year’s Spank or Treat 2012 challenge, you may add “VIP” to your comments. You will earn THREE bonus entries toward the grand prize. (Yes, we will be doing this again. Yes, if you successfully complete the Spank or Treat challenge you can become a VIP for our next activity!)
- Visit any of the participating blogs on Thursday, October 31st to find out the lucky winners. Will it be you?
For more information, updates, and a list of participating authors, please visit Anastasia Vitsky’s blog.
Like Spank or Treat on Facebook!
Tweet #spankortreat on Twitter!
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