Labor Day 2019

Although I've shared the following information before, I think it’s very much worth sharing again.

Labor Day has been celebrated as a national holiday paying tribute to working men and women in the United States and Canada since 1894.

The first Labor Day parade occurred 5 September 1882, in New York City.  The workers' unions chose the first Monday in September because it was halfway between Independence Day in July and Thanksgiving in November.

Some states designated Labor Day as a holiday before President Grover Cleveland signed a law designating the first Monday in September as the federal holiday known as Labor Day nationwide.
If you want to know more about Labor Day in the United States…what it means, where it originated, etc., this article http://www.dol.gov/laborday/history.htm has a lot of good information.

Goodbye Weekend

Try Me

Urges

Appreciation!

Asked for Raise

Little Firefighter

Rough Day

Conference Call BIngo

3 Wedding Nights

Three couples marry and stay at the same hotel for their honeymoons, where they are taken care of by Dave the bellboy.

The first man married a nurse. Dave thinks to himself, "Nice, nurses are known to be hot."

The second man married a telephone operator. Dave thinks to himself, "Telephone operators have sexy voices."

The third man married a school teacher. Dave thinks to himself, "Poor guy, teachers are too strict."

The next morning, Dave reports to work and gets a room service call from the nurse's husband. He sourly says, "Don't ever marry a nurse. All I heard last night was 'You're not sanitary, you're not sanitary.'"



Then, the telephone operator's husband calls and sourly says, "Don't ever marry a telephone operator. All I heard last night was "Your three minutes are up, your three minutes are up.'"




Later that afternoon, the teacher's husband calls and happily says,

"When you marry, be sure to marry a school teacher. All I heard last night was 'We are going to do this over and over until we get it right!'"
 

Courtesy of BabaMail

Labor Day 2017

Although I shared the following information last year, I think it’s very much worth sharing again.

Labor Day has been celebrated as a national holiday paying tribute to working men and women in the United States and Canada since 1894.

The first Labor Day parade occurred 5 September 1882, in New York City.  The workers' unions chose the first Monday in September because it was halfway between Independence Day in July and Thanksgiving in November.

Some states designated Labor Day as a holiday before President Grover Cleveland signed a law designating the first Monday in September as the federal holiday known as Labor Day nationwide.
If you want to know more about Labor Day in the United States…what it means, where it originated, etc., this article http://www.dol.gov/laborday/history.htm has a lot of good information.

Simple Math

"A customer a few weeks ago wanted to return this hair coloring, and exchange it for a different color, right?   So I tell her, she can hand it and the receipt to me, and I can do it all in one transaction if she goes to get the one she wants and any other items she wants.

So she does, and comes back.

I do the return first because it makes the return slip that I stick in the register shorter and easier to deal with, and that way I also don't forget to do it.


The way our system lists returns is a negative value on the receipt. I think in this case it was -6.99.

That said, I still have to scan the one she's swapping it for, but it's also 6.99, which is a positive value so it all evens out, right?


Not according to her.

As far as she was concerned, I shouldn't have charged her for it at all.

And I could not get her to understand that it evens out to a zero value, even with the assistance of one of my coworkers helping explain.


She left, then she came back again, and went to cosmetics that time to try and get it corrected.


It took a manager with a calculator to finally convince her that yes, I did not charge her a value for it." (Source)

---

That 5.16 is not larger than 5.8.

I worked at a bank with a young coworker who thought that the staff interest rate on a term deposit of 5.8% was worse that the bank's standard rate at the time of 5.16%.

She also couldn't work out 10% of $200, even with a spreadsheet that someone made where all she had to do was enter the number 200 and then look and the large, colorful and well marked answer. (Source)

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Customer: If the cucumbers are on sale 4 for $3 why should I be charged .75 cents for one?

Me: Ma'am the sale price IS .75

Customer: That's bulls--t, the other guy would give it to me for the sale price.  I want to talk to someone who knows what the hell they're talking about!

Me: Sure, let me get you a manager.


Manager: Hi ma'am what seems to be the problem?

Customer: Why the hell should I pay .75 cents for a cucumber that's on sale just because I don't want to buy 4 of them!

Manager: Ma'am if 4 cucumbers are $3 then 2 are $1.50 and one would be .75 cents.


ITS THIRD GRADE MATH... COME ON!!! (Source)

Tax Filing

A woman walks into a CPA's office and tells him that she needs to file her tax return.

The CPA says, "Before we begin, I'll need to ask you a few questions."

 
He gets her name, address, Social security number, etc. and then asks, "What's your occupation?"

“I'm a Lady of the night," she says.

 
The CPA is somewhat taken aback and says, "Let's try to rephrase that."

The woman says, "Ok, I'm a high-end call girl."

 
"No, that still won't work. Try again."

They both think for a minute; then the woman says, "I'm an elite chicken farmer."

 
The CPA asks, "What does chicken farming have to do with being a prostitute?"


"Well, I raised a thousand little peckers last year."

 
The CPA says, "Chicken farmer it is."

No Sense of Humor

Meredith's Jack, sent a good one.  

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My Boss has no sense of humor!

The Bugger fired me after one small practical joke…
 

From Negative to Positive

How to Turn 11 Everyday Phrases From Negative to Positive

It’s official: positive language can literally change your brain.
 
Yes, that’s right—positive words like “peace,” “love” and “compassion” strengthen areas of the brain’s frontal lobes, and promote cognitive function. In simple terms, hearing and using positive language can make you feel great—physically, mentally and emotionally. On the flip side, negative language can block the brain’s natural de-stress mechanisms.
 
So, as well as adding some sparkly positive words into your everyday language—like “certainly,” “great” and “definitely”—it’s worth taking a look at phrases you might be using inadvertently and giving them a polish, too.
 
These 11 everyday phrases can easily be replaced, giving your vocabulary an instant positivity boost.
 

Every Day Positive Language 

1. Why not? → Sounds good
2. No problem → Definitely!
3. Can’t complain → Everything’s going well, thanks

These phrases are meant to be positive - but the human brain has a negative bias, and subconsciously brings up all of the reasons not to do something, problems, or complains when processing these words.

4. I’m exhausted → I need to rest

Flipping the phrase to include a solution leaves both the speaker and the listener with a better taste in their mouths.

 

Positive Language at Work

5. I forgot → I’ll make sure to set a reminder

Again, focusing on what can be done will help the people around you expect a positive result.

6. Unfortunately, it will be impossible to finish the project on time because of the problems some people are causing with submitting their work late. → Can everyone turn in their portion of the project by Thursday so that we can complete the work on time and hit the deadline?

Email culture provides the perfect opportunity to work on positive language, as you can edit your words before sending them out to colleagues and clients. Look out for negative words like “unfortunately,” “impossible” and “problems” as flags for sentences to revise.

7. Constructive criticism → Feedback

The words you use to frame your feedback can have a significant impact on how it is received. To add to the positive vibe, healthy portions of compliments for achievements will help your colleagues take your comments on board.

 

 Positive Language at Home

8. Don’t throw the ball inside! → Please take the ball outside.

or

9. Don’t… → I like it when…

Telling children (and adults, too!) what you want them to do rather than what you don’t want them to do puts the focus on the desired action and ups your chances of a positive outcome.

10. I missed you so much! → It’s so great to see you!

While absence certainly does make the heart grow fonder, reunions can be a time to rejoice in the present rather than relating negative emotions from the past.

11. No! → I know you like ice cream, but eating too much isn’t healthy.

Unless you’re dealing with a serious safety issue, for example near a road or a swimming pool, explaining the reason behind your “no” helps children feel respected and included. As a guide, think about how you’d like your boss to speak to you.

Courtesy of happify

Monday

Starting your week off with a few giggles…  

Swearing at Work

Super-Cheap!

A man walks into a bar one night. He goes up to the bar and asks for a beer.


 
"Certainly, sir, that'll be 1 cent."

"One penny?!" exclaimed the guy.


The barman replied, "Yes." 
 

So, the guy glances over at the menu, and he asks, "Could I have a nice juicy T-bone steak, with fries, peas, and a salad?"


 
"Certainly sir," replies the bartender, "but all that comes to real money." 
 
"How much money?" inquires the guy. 
 
"Four cents," he replies. 
 
"Four cents?!" exclaims the guy.

 
 
"Where's the guy who owns this place?" 
 
The barman replies, "Upstairs with my wife."


 

The guy says, "What's he doing with your wife?" 
 

The bartender replies, "Same as what I'm doing to his business." 

WTF

Calling in Sick