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Showing posts with label Darwin Awards. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Darwin Awards. Show all posts
Sunday, November 3, 2019
Tuesday, October 15, 2019
Tuesday, September 24, 2019
Monday, September 2, 2019
Monday, April 1, 2019
Sunday, January 20, 2019
Sunday, March 25, 2018
Tuesday, November 21, 2017
Stellas Awards for This Year
Some of these are priceless!!
It's time again for the annual "Stella Awards"! For those unfamiliar with these awards, they are named after 81-year-old Stella Liebeck who spilled hot coffee on herself and successfully sued the McDonald's in New Mexico, where she purchased coffee.
You remember, she took the lid off the coffee and put it between her knees while she was driving. Who would ever think one could get burned doing that, right?
That's right; these are awards for the most outlandish lawsuits and verdicts in the U.S.
You know, the kinds of cases that make you scratch your head.
So keep your head scratcher handy.
Here are the Stellas for this year:
* SEVENTH PLACE *
Kathleen Robertson of Austin, Texas was awarded $80,000 by a jury of her peers after breaking her ankle tripping over a toddler who was running inside a furniture store.
The store owners were understandably surprised by the verdict, considering the running toddler was her own son.
Start scratching!
* SIXTH PLACE *
Carl Truman, 19, of Los Angeles, California won $74,000 plus medical expenses when his neighbor ran over his hand with a Honda Accord. Truman apparently didn't notice there was someone at the wheel of the car when he was trying to steal his neighbor's hubcaps.
Scratch some more...
* FIFTH PLACE *
Terrence Dickson, of Bristol, Pennsylvania, who was leaving a house he had just burglarized by way of the garage. Unfortunately for Dickson, the automatic garage door opener malfunctioned and he could not get the garage door to open.
Worse, he couldn't re-enter the house because the door connecting the garage to the house locked when Dickson pulled it shut. Forced to sit for eight, count 'em, EIGHT days and survive on a case of Pepsi and a large bag of dry dog food, he sued the homeowner's insurance company claiming undue mental anguish.
Amazingly, the jury said the insurance company must pay Dickson $500,000 for his anguish. We should all have this kind of anguish.
Keep scratching. There are more...
Double head scratching after this one…
* FOURTH PLACE *
Jerry Williams, of Little Rock, Arkansas, garnered 4th Place in the Stella's when he was awarded $14,500 plus medical expenses after being bitten on the butt by his next door neighbor's beagle - even though the beagle was on a chain in its owner's fenced yard.
Williams did not get as much as he asked for because the jury believed the beagle might have been provoked at the time of the butt bite because Williams had climbed over the fence into the yard and repeatedly shot the dog with a pellet gun.
Pick a new spot to scratch, you're getting a bald spot.
* THIRD PLACE *
Amber Carson of Lancaster, Pennsylvania because a jury ordered a Philadelphia restaurant to pay her $113,500 after she slipped on a spilled soft drink and broke her tailbone. The reason the soft drink was on the floor: Ms. Carson had thrown it at her boyfriend 30 seconds earlier during an argument.
Only two more so ease up on the scratching...
* SECOND PLACE *
Kara Walton, of Claymont, Delaware sued the owner of a night club in a nearby city because she fell from the bathroom window to the floor, knocking out her two front teeth. Even though Ms. Walton was trying to sneak through the ladies room window to avoid paying the $3.50 cover charge, the jury said the night club had to pay her $12,000.... oh, yeah, plus dental expenses. Go figure.
Ok. Here we go...
* FIRST PLACE *
This year's runaway First Place Stella Award winner was: Mrs. Merv Grazinski, of Oklahoma City, Oklahoma, who purchased a new 32-foot Winnebago motor home.
On her first trip home, from an OU football game, having driven on to the freeway, she set the cruise control at 70 mph and calmly left the driver's seat to go to the back of the Winnebago to make herself a sandwich.
Not surprisingly, the motor home left the freeway, crashed and overturned.
Also not surprisingly, Mrs. Grazinski sued Winnebago for not putting in the owner's manual that she couldn't actually leave the driver's seat while the cruise control was set.
The Oklahoma jury awarded her, are you sitting down? $1,750,000 PLUS a new motor home.
Winnebago actually changed their manuals as a result of this suit, just in case Mrs. Grazinski has any relatives who might also buy a motor home.
If you think the USA court system is out of control, be sure to pass this one on.
SMH…These morons ought to be very grateful that I wasn’t one of their jurors.
It's time again for the annual "Stella Awards"! For those unfamiliar with these awards, they are named after 81-year-old Stella Liebeck who spilled hot coffee on herself and successfully sued the McDonald's in New Mexico, where she purchased coffee.
You remember, she took the lid off the coffee and put it between her knees while she was driving. Who would ever think one could get burned doing that, right?
That's right; these are awards for the most outlandish lawsuits and verdicts in the U.S.
You know, the kinds of cases that make you scratch your head.
So keep your head scratcher handy.
Here are the Stellas for this year:
* SEVENTH PLACE *
Kathleen Robertson of Austin, Texas was awarded $80,000 by a jury of her peers after breaking her ankle tripping over a toddler who was running inside a furniture store.
The store owners were understandably surprised by the verdict, considering the running toddler was her own son.
Start scratching!
* SIXTH PLACE *
Carl Truman, 19, of Los Angeles, California won $74,000 plus medical expenses when his neighbor ran over his hand with a Honda Accord. Truman apparently didn't notice there was someone at the wheel of the car when he was trying to steal his neighbor's hubcaps.
Scratch some more...
* FIFTH PLACE *
Terrence Dickson, of Bristol, Pennsylvania, who was leaving a house he had just burglarized by way of the garage. Unfortunately for Dickson, the automatic garage door opener malfunctioned and he could not get the garage door to open.
Worse, he couldn't re-enter the house because the door connecting the garage to the house locked when Dickson pulled it shut. Forced to sit for eight, count 'em, EIGHT days and survive on a case of Pepsi and a large bag of dry dog food, he sued the homeowner's insurance company claiming undue mental anguish.
Amazingly, the jury said the insurance company must pay Dickson $500,000 for his anguish. We should all have this kind of anguish.
Keep scratching. There are more...
Double head scratching after this one…
* FOURTH PLACE *
Jerry Williams, of Little Rock, Arkansas, garnered 4th Place in the Stella's when he was awarded $14,500 plus medical expenses after being bitten on the butt by his next door neighbor's beagle - even though the beagle was on a chain in its owner's fenced yard.
Williams did not get as much as he asked for because the jury believed the beagle might have been provoked at the time of the butt bite because Williams had climbed over the fence into the yard and repeatedly shot the dog with a pellet gun.
Pick a new spot to scratch, you're getting a bald spot.
* THIRD PLACE *
Amber Carson of Lancaster, Pennsylvania because a jury ordered a Philadelphia restaurant to pay her $113,500 after she slipped on a spilled soft drink and broke her tailbone. The reason the soft drink was on the floor: Ms. Carson had thrown it at her boyfriend 30 seconds earlier during an argument.
Only two more so ease up on the scratching...
* SECOND PLACE *
Kara Walton, of Claymont, Delaware sued the owner of a night club in a nearby city because she fell from the bathroom window to the floor, knocking out her two front teeth. Even though Ms. Walton was trying to sneak through the ladies room window to avoid paying the $3.50 cover charge, the jury said the night club had to pay her $12,000.... oh, yeah, plus dental expenses. Go figure.
Ok. Here we go...
* FIRST PLACE *
This year's runaway First Place Stella Award winner was: Mrs. Merv Grazinski, of Oklahoma City, Oklahoma, who purchased a new 32-foot Winnebago motor home.
On her first trip home, from an OU football game, having driven on to the freeway, she set the cruise control at 70 mph and calmly left the driver's seat to go to the back of the Winnebago to make herself a sandwich.
Not surprisingly, the motor home left the freeway, crashed and overturned.
Also not surprisingly, Mrs. Grazinski sued Winnebago for not putting in the owner's manual that she couldn't actually leave the driver's seat while the cruise control was set.
The Oklahoma jury awarded her, are you sitting down? $1,750,000 PLUS a new motor home.
Winnebago actually changed their manuals as a result of this suit, just in case Mrs. Grazinski has any relatives who might also buy a motor home.
If you think the USA court system is out of control, be sure to pass this one on.
SMH…These morons ought to be very grateful that I wasn’t one of their jurors.
Friday, September 1, 2017
Simple Math
"A customer a few weeks ago wanted to return this hair coloring, and exchange
it for a different color, right? So I tell her, she can hand it and the receipt
to me, and I can do it all in one transaction if she goes to get the one she
wants and any other items she wants.
So she does, and comes back.
I do the return first because it makes the return slip that I stick in the register shorter and easier to deal with, and that way I also don't forget to do it.
The way our system lists returns is a negative value on the receipt. I think in this case it was -6.99.
That said, I still have to scan the one she's swapping it for, but it's also 6.99, which is a positive value so it all evens out, right?
Not according to her.
As far as she was concerned, I shouldn't have charged her for it at all.
And I could not get her to understand that it evens out to a zero value, even with the assistance of one of my coworkers helping explain.
She left, then she came back again, and went to cosmetics that time to try and get it corrected.
It took a manager with a calculator to finally convince her that yes, I did not charge her a value for it." (Source)
That 5.16 is not larger than 5.8.
I worked at a bank with a young coworker who thought that the staff interest rate on a term deposit of 5.8% was worse that the bank's standard rate at the time of 5.16%.
She also couldn't work out 10% of $200, even with a spreadsheet that someone made where all she had to do was enter the number 200 and then look and the large, colorful and well marked answer. (Source)
Customer: If the cucumbers are on sale 4 for $3 why should I be charged .75 cents for one?
Me: Ma'am the sale price IS .75
Customer: That's bulls--t, the other guy would give it to me for the sale price. I want to talk to someone who knows what the hell they're talking about!
Me: Sure, let me get you a manager.
Manager: Hi ma'am what seems to be the problem?
Customer: Why the hell should I pay .75 cents for a cucumber that's on sale just because I don't want to buy 4 of them!
Manager: Ma'am if 4 cucumbers are $3 then 2 are $1.50 and one would be .75 cents.
ITS THIRD GRADE MATH... COME ON!!! (Source)
So she does, and comes back.
I do the return first because it makes the return slip that I stick in the register shorter and easier to deal with, and that way I also don't forget to do it.
The way our system lists returns is a negative value on the receipt. I think in this case it was -6.99.
That said, I still have to scan the one she's swapping it for, but it's also 6.99, which is a positive value so it all evens out, right?
Not according to her.
As far as she was concerned, I shouldn't have charged her for it at all.
And I could not get her to understand that it evens out to a zero value, even with the assistance of one of my coworkers helping explain.
She left, then she came back again, and went to cosmetics that time to try and get it corrected.
It took a manager with a calculator to finally convince her that yes, I did not charge her a value for it." (Source)
That 5.16 is not larger than 5.8.
I worked at a bank with a young coworker who thought that the staff interest rate on a term deposit of 5.8% was worse that the bank's standard rate at the time of 5.16%.
She also couldn't work out 10% of $200, even with a spreadsheet that someone made where all she had to do was enter the number 200 and then look and the large, colorful and well marked answer. (Source)
Customer: If the cucumbers are on sale 4 for $3 why should I be charged .75 cents for one?
Me: Ma'am the sale price IS .75
Customer: That's bulls--t, the other guy would give it to me for the sale price. I want to talk to someone who knows what the hell they're talking about!
Me: Sure, let me get you a manager.
Manager: Hi ma'am what seems to be the problem?
Customer: Why the hell should I pay .75 cents for a cucumber that's on sale just because I don't want to buy 4 of them!
Manager: Ma'am if 4 cucumbers are $3 then 2 are $1.50 and one would be .75 cents.
ITS THIRD GRADE MATH... COME ON!!! (Source)
Sunday, July 2, 2017
Extra Stupid Criminals
These Extra Stupid Criminals Took Dumb To A New Low
Criminals typically aren't too bright to begin with, but this group of morons set the record for the dumbest of the dumb. You won't believe the idiocy!
1. I Hate It When That Happens
4. At Least He Made His Court Date
8. His New Plate Just Reads "Dumbass"
13. Cops Would Have Caught Her Sooner But They Had To Sit Through An Advertisement And Wait For The Video To Buffer
21. Never Bring a Knife to a Gun Fight
Criminals typically aren't too bright to begin with, but this group of morons set the record for the dumbest of the dumb. You won't believe the idiocy!
1. I Hate It When That Happens
2. Talk About Short-Term Memory Loss
3. If Only Idiocy Was A Crime
4. At Least He Made His Court Date
5. A Real Genius
6. What a Dildo
7. Pawn Star
8. His New Plate Just Reads "Dumbass"
9. They Should Have Pinky Swore
10. He Made A Run For The Border
11. Can You Hold This For A Second?
12. “Pshhh... Whatever”
13. Cops Would Have Caught Her Sooner But They Had To Sit Through An Advertisement And Wait For The Video To Buffer
14. Reading Comprehension Is Not A Requirement
15. The Newest Inductee Into The Stupid Criminals Hall Of Fame…
16. World's Cheapest Alarm System
17. Not The Sharpie-Est Tools In The Box
18. I'd Hate To See That Phone Bill
19. Now It's In the Law Enforcement Handbook
20. Mother of the Year
21. Never Bring a Knife to a Gun Fight
22. He Passed Out Before He Could Take Advantage of Himself
23. She Must Have Been Sick of His Sh#T
24. This Is Not How You Join the Force
25. When Your Roommate Is a Bogart
26. Drunk by Transitive Property?
27. Just One More Idiot Clogging Up Our Judicial System
28. Maybe Cashiers Should Learn A Little About Money
Courtesy of Grabberwocky
Monday, April 10, 2017
No Words Required
Another really good giggle from Meredith's Jack,…
‘IRONY' explained in pictures…
Perfect definitions! 
Sunday, February 19, 2017
The Darwin Awards
Just look what Meredith's Jack, sent! Darwin awards! 
Yes, it's that magical time of year when the Darwin Awards are bestowed, honoring the least evolved among us.
The glorious winner:
1. When his 38-calibre revolver failed to fire at his intended victim during a hold-up in Long Beach, California, would-be robber James Elliot did something that can only inspire wonder. He peered down the barrel and tried the trigger again. This time it worked.
And now, the honorable mentions:
2. The chef at a hotel in Switzerland lost a finger in a meat cutting machine and after a little shopping around, submitted a claim to his insurance company.
The company, expecting negligence, sent out one of its’ men to have a look for himself. He tried the machine and also lost a finger.
The chef's claim was approved.
3. A man who shoveled snow for an hour to clear a space for his car during a blizzard in Chicago returned with his vehicle to find a woman had taken the space. Understandably, he shot her.
4. After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a Zimbabwean bus driver found that the 20 mental patients he was supposed to be transporting from Harare to Bulawayo had escaped. Not wanting to admit his incompetence, the driver went to a nearby bus stop and offered everyone waiting there a free ride. He then delivered the passengers to the mental hospital, telling the staff that the patients were very excitable and prone to bizarre fantasies. The deception wasn't discovered for three days.
5. An American teenager was in the hospital recovering from serious head wounds received from an oncoming train. When asked how he received the injuries, the lad told police that he was simply trying to see how close he could get his head to a moving train before he was hit.
6. A man walked into a Louisiana Circle-K, put a $20 bill on the counter, and asked for change. When the clerk opened the cash drawer, the man pulled a gun and asked for all the cash in the register, which the clerk promptly provided. The man took the cash from the clerk and fled, leaving the $20 bill on the counter.
The total amount of cash he got from the drawer . . . $15.
7. Seems an Arkansas guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided that he'd just throw a cinder block through a liquor store window, grab some booze and run. So he lifted the cinder block and heaved it over his head at the window. The cinder block bounced back and hit the would-be thief on his head, knocking him unconscious. The liquor store window was made of Plexiglas. The whole event was caught on videotape . . .
8. As a female shopper exited a New York convenience store, a man grabbed her purse and ran. The clerk called 911 immediately, and the woman was able to give them a detailed description of the snatcher. Within minutes, the police apprehended the snatcher. They put him in the car and drove back to the store. The thief was then taken out of the car and told to stand there for a positive ID. To which he replied, "Yes, officer, that's her. That's the lady I stole the purse from."
9. The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked into a Burger King in Ypsilanti, Michigan at 5 a.m., flashed a gun and demanded cash. The clerk turned him down because he said he couldn't open the cash register without a food order. When the man ordered onion rings, the clerk said they weren't available for breakfast. The man, frustrated, walked away.
[*A 5-STAR STUPIDITY AWARD WINNER]
10. When a man attempted to siphon gasoline from a motor home parked on a Seattle street by sucking on a hose, he got much more than he bargained for . . . Police arrived at the scene to find a very sick man curled up next to a motor home near spilled sewage. A police spokesman said that the man admitted to trying to steal gasoline, but he plugged his siphon hose into the motor home's sewage tank by mistake. The owner of the vehicle declined to press charges saying that it was the best laugh he'd ever had.
*** Remember . . . they walk among us and they can reproduce.***
Yes, it's that magical time of year when the Darwin Awards are bestowed, honoring the least evolved among us.
The glorious winner:
1. When his 38-calibre revolver failed to fire at his intended victim during a hold-up in Long Beach, California, would-be robber James Elliot did something that can only inspire wonder. He peered down the barrel and tried the trigger again. This time it worked.
And now, the honorable mentions:
2. The chef at a hotel in Switzerland lost a finger in a meat cutting machine and after a little shopping around, submitted a claim to his insurance company.
The company, expecting negligence, sent out one of its’ men to have a look for himself. He tried the machine and also lost a finger.
The chef's claim was approved.
3. A man who shoveled snow for an hour to clear a space for his car during a blizzard in Chicago returned with his vehicle to find a woman had taken the space. Understandably, he shot her.
4. After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a Zimbabwean bus driver found that the 20 mental patients he was supposed to be transporting from Harare to Bulawayo had escaped. Not wanting to admit his incompetence, the driver went to a nearby bus stop and offered everyone waiting there a free ride. He then delivered the passengers to the mental hospital, telling the staff that the patients were very excitable and prone to bizarre fantasies. The deception wasn't discovered for three days.
5. An American teenager was in the hospital recovering from serious head wounds received from an oncoming train. When asked how he received the injuries, the lad told police that he was simply trying to see how close he could get his head to a moving train before he was hit.
6. A man walked into a Louisiana Circle-K, put a $20 bill on the counter, and asked for change. When the clerk opened the cash drawer, the man pulled a gun and asked for all the cash in the register, which the clerk promptly provided. The man took the cash from the clerk and fled, leaving the $20 bill on the counter.
The total amount of cash he got from the drawer . . . $15.
7. Seems an Arkansas guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided that he'd just throw a cinder block through a liquor store window, grab some booze and run. So he lifted the cinder block and heaved it over his head at the window. The cinder block bounced back and hit the would-be thief on his head, knocking him unconscious. The liquor store window was made of Plexiglas. The whole event was caught on videotape . . .
8. As a female shopper exited a New York convenience store, a man grabbed her purse and ran. The clerk called 911 immediately, and the woman was able to give them a detailed description of the snatcher. Within minutes, the police apprehended the snatcher. They put him in the car and drove back to the store. The thief was then taken out of the car and told to stand there for a positive ID. To which he replied, "Yes, officer, that's her. That's the lady I stole the purse from."
9. The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked into a Burger King in Ypsilanti, Michigan at 5 a.m., flashed a gun and demanded cash. The clerk turned him down because he said he couldn't open the cash register without a food order. When the man ordered onion rings, the clerk said they weren't available for breakfast. The man, frustrated, walked away.
[*A 5-STAR STUPIDITY AWARD WINNER]
10. When a man attempted to siphon gasoline from a motor home parked on a Seattle street by sucking on a hose, he got much more than he bargained for . . . Police arrived at the scene to find a very sick man curled up next to a motor home near spilled sewage. A police spokesman said that the man admitted to trying to steal gasoline, but he plugged his siphon hose into the motor home's sewage tank by mistake. The owner of the vehicle declined to press charges saying that it was the best laugh he'd ever had.
*** Remember . . . they walk among us and they can reproduce.***
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