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Best Obituary Ever

The Best Obituary Ever Written In a Newspaper. This Is Genius.
 
An obituary printed in the New York Times:
Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape. He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as:

- Knowing when to come in out of the rain;
- Why the early bird gets the worm;
- Life isn't always fair;
- And maybe it was my fault.

Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are in charge).
 
His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a 6-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition.
 
Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children. It declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer sun lotion or an aspirin to a student; but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.
 
Common Sense lost the will to live as the churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims.
 
Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault.
 
Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.
Common Sense was preceded in death,

- by his parents, Truth and Trust,
- by his wife, Discretion,
- by his daughter, Responsibility,
- and by his son, Reason.

 
He is survived by his 5 stepbrothers;

- I Know My Rights
- I Want It Now
- Someone Else Is To Blame
- I'm A Victim
- Pay me for Doing Nothing

 
Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone.
 
If you still remember him, pass this on.  If not, join the majority and do nothing.
 

Courtesy of  tickld

Happy Independence Day 2015

 

Strawberry Cheesecake Dip

Haven’t shared a recipe for a while so thought I’d share a very simple one that would be great for any gathering.

 

Strawberry Cheesecake Dip

Ingredients

·  16 ounces cream cheese - softened

·  1/4 cup vanilla Greek yogurt

·  1/2 cup strawberries

·  1/4 cup sugar

·  1 tablespoon Triple Sec (optional)

·  1 teaspoon vanilla extract

 

Instructions

1.  Mix all ingredients in food processor until smooth and creamy. 

2.  Pour into glass bowl, cover and chill.

3.  Serve with assortment of dippers (fruit, pound cake cubes, cookies, etc.)

Notes
·  If you don’t have or don’t choose to use Triple Sec, you can substitute orange extract
·  You can substitute sour cream for the Greek yogurt
·  Very short and easy…even for those of you who claim you can’t cook or who don’t want to cook.

If you have any questions, please feel free to ask and if you try the recipe, as always, I would love any feedback you would care to give.





Bake a cake they said.  Put rockets on they said...

Happy Independence Day 2014

Wishing all of you a fun and safe holiday.