Visit with new GP

Here's a goodie from Meredith's Jack. Hope you enjoy!

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I recently was assigned to a new GP. After two visits and exhaustive lab tests, he said I was doing 'fairly well' for my age (I've just reached 70). A little concerned about that comment, I couldn't resist asking him, 'Do you think I'll live to be 85?'


He asked, 'Do you smoke tobacco, or drink beer, wine or hard liquor?

'Oh not much grog these days and don't smoke' I replied. 'I'm not doing drugs, either!'


Then he asked, 'Do you eat rib-eye steaks, fatty roasts and barbecued Ribs?

"I said, 'Not much; my former doctor said that all red meat is very unhealthy!'


'Do you spend a lot of time in the sun, like playing golf, boating, sailing, surfing, hiking, or bicycling?'

'No, I don't.' I said. "I've had skin cancers, you see."


He asked, 'Do you gamble, drive fast cars, or have a lots of sex?'

 'No,' I said...



He looked at me and said... "Then, why the f**k do you want to live to 85?"

Hearing Test

Here's an oldie but a goodie from Meredith's Jack. Hope you enjoy!

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An elderly lady was concerned about her husband’s hearing. It seemed that every time she would call him, he wouldn’t respond. So, the lady went to the doctor to ask his advice.

The doctor said to her, “You play golf with him, right? Stand a distance away from him and tell him something. Better yet, ask his advice on how to play a shot. Continue to move closer to him until he responds to your question so you know exactly how far away he is from you when he finally hears you.”

She thought this was a great idea. The next time they were out on the course, she asked from a distance, “Herbert, what club should I play for this shot?”

There was no response. She moved 10 feet closer. Again she yelled, “Herbert, what club should I play for this shot?”

Still no response, so she moved another 15 feet closer to where she was now practically face to face with her husband. 

She yelled even louder this time, “HERBERT, WHAT CLUB SHOULD I PLAY FOR THIS SHOT?”

Herbert, annoyed, yelled back at her, “FOR THE THIRD TIME, USE A 5-IRON!”

Dedicated to Shopping

Here's a hysterical giggle from Meredith's Jack. Hope you enjoy!

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Going Hunting

Here's a good one from Meredith's Jack. Hope you enjoy!

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I had everything planned and told my wife I would not be going to church with her on Sunday because it was opening day of deer season.

My wife reminded me that Sunday was the Sabbath Day and hunting a trophy buck should not be part of the Sabbath.

*HOWEVER*

1. I had scouted the area all summer.

2. I searched out the best location for my tree-stand.

3. I set it all up a month ahead of time.

4. I trailed the herd.

5. I picked out a trophy buck.

6. Two days before opening day I rechecked every aspect of the hunt.

7. Everything was in place.

8. Sunday morning, I woke up at 2 am.

9. I put on my camo, loaded my pack, set out for my stand.

10. This was destined to be an "Epic" hunt.

11. As I approached my deer stand, I called my wife and told her

I had decided not to hunt on the Sabbath and would meet her at church.

The Sunday sermon was entitled...

"The Lord Works In Mysterious Ways."

 

British Airways

Here's another fun oldie but goodie from Meredith's Jack. Hope you enjoy!

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Baseball Game Mystery

Here's a real goodie from Meredith's Jack. Hope you enjoy!

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This is a detective story…So Pay. Close. Attention!


Three elderly ladies are excited about seeing their first baseball game.

They smuggled a bottle of Jack Daniels into the ball park.


The game is real exciting, and they are enjoying themselves immensely... mixing the Jack Daniel’s with soft drinks.

Soon, they realize that the bottle is almost gone and the game has a lot of innings to go.


Based on the given information, what inning is it and how many players are on base?


Think… 🤔


You have all the information you need to come up with the correct answer.



Think some more!

🤔 🤔 🤔 🤔 🤔 🤔


Answer:
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It’s the bottom of the fifth and the bags are loaded!