Messages from Neighbors

1955 Giggle

Comments made in the year 1955! 

I'll tell you one thing, if things keep going the way they are, it's going to be impossible to buy a week's groceries for $10.00.

Have you seen the new cars coming out next year?

It won't be long before $1,000.00 will only buy a used one.

If cigarettes keep going up in price, I'm going to quit; 20 cents a pack is ridiculous.

Did you hear the post office is thinking about charging 7 cents just to mail a letter?

If they raise the minimum wage to $1.00, nobody will be able to hire outside help at the store.


When I first started driving, who would have thought gas would someday cost more than 20 cents a gallon.
Guess we'd be better off leaving the car in the garage.

I'm afraid to send my kids to the movies any more. Ever since they let Clark Gable get by with saying DAMN in GONE WITH THE WIND, it seems every new movie has either HELL or DAMN in it.
I read the other day where some scientist thinks it's possible to put a man on the moon by the end of the century.

They even have some fellows they call astronauts preparing for it down in Texas.

Did you see where some baseball player just signed a contract for $50,000 a year just to play ball?
It wouldn't surprise me if someday they'll be making more than the President.

I never thought I'd see the day all our kitchen appliances would be electric.
They're even making electric typewriters now.

It's too bad things are so tough nowadays. I see where a few married women are having to work to make ends meet.
It won't be long before young couples are going to have to hire someone to watch their kids so they can both work.

I'm afraid the Volkswagen car is going to open the door to a whole lot of foreign business.

Thank goodness I won't live to see the day when the Government takes half our income in taxes.
I sometimes wonder if we are electing the best people to government.

The fast food restaurant is convenient for a quick meal, but I seriously doubt they will ever catch on.
There is no sense going on short trips anymore for a weekend. It costs nearly $2.00 a night to stay in a motel.

No one can afford to be sick anymore. At $15.00 a day in the hospital, it's too rich for my blood.

Obituary in the NY Times

At first she was puzzled as she started reading this obituary in the paper.  But what followed was genius.

An obituary printed in the New York Times…

Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape. He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as:

• Knowing when to come in out of the rain;
• Why the early bird gets the worm;
• Life isn't always fair;
• And maybe it was my fault.

 

Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are in charge).

 

His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a 6-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition.

 

Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children. It declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer sun lotion or an aspirin to a student; but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.

 

Common Sense lost the will to live as the churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims.

 

Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault.

 

Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.

 

Common Sense was preceded in death,

• by his parents, Truth and Trust,
• by his wife, Discretion,
• by his daughter, Responsibility,
• and by his son, Reason.

 

He is survived by his 5 stepbrothers;

• I Know My Rights
• I Want It Now
• Someone Else Is To Blame
• I'm A Victim
• Pay me for Doing Nothing

 

Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone.

If you still remember him, pass this on. If not, join the majority and do nothing.

 

I removed the jpg and manually typed this in as I had several emails letting me know that it was extremely blurry and difficult to read.  Hope this helps.

DST Fall 2016

 
As I’ve said before, I really believe this started out as a big joke with DST meaning for Dumb and Stupid Time and the government went for it!

Worst Customer Ever

I’m a manager at a grocery store, so I get awesomely rude customers on a daily basis. 

Every Wednesday is senior discount day.  You have to be 55-60 to qualify for the discount.  Needless to say, Wednesdays are tense.  Lots of seniors, and lots of other people who don’t want to deal with the seniors.  I don’t generally mind the old folks.  Most of them are pretty cool and have some interesting stories and cute jokes.

This Wednesday there was one particular customer who was being a huge pain in the a** from the moment she walked in.  She was tall, blonde, high heels, very made up, and dressed to the nines.  She was probably late 30s to early 40s.  She came storming up to customer service, “There are NO parking spots.  This is ridiculous.  I’m going to request to corporate that you expand your parking lot, since you don’t seem to have the initiative to request that yourself.”
 
Off to a great start, lady.
 
She comes storming back up about 45 minutes later.  “I am in a HUGE hurry, and every line has someone in it.  I need to check out here.”

We had three lines open, and each one had ONE single customer.

ONE.

I say “No problem, but I’ll get you at a checkout. You have too many items to get here.”

She has a HUGE hissy fit. “I don’t have time for this.  Let’s GO.”

 
At this point I was getting really annoyed…As I’m checking her out, it is constant complaining.
“You only have one brand of makeup?  That is ridiculous.  I only wear MAC, but I was going to settle for Revlon, but you don’t even have that.  Now I have to make a whole separate trip.”

“Please don’t put my bread on top of my eggs, the eggs could roll over and crush the bread.”

“Please bag my avocados separately; I need to use those for a face mask tonight.  They need to be perfect, I have a photo session for work tomorrow.  I’m in a magazine.”

 
She was unbelievable. Finally, at the end, I had had enough.

 
As she’s about to pay, I say, “Don’t forget today is senior discount day!  You get 5% off!”
 
She just stared at me.
 
“What?” I smiled broadly.  “Every Wednesday, senior citizens get 5% off their bill. I’ll go ahead and take it off. You are 55-60, right?”

She is staring at me, debit card in hand, cheeks getting red.

I lose my smile slowly and say “Oh, you don’t qualify?  Sorry about that.  Maybe next year! Thanks for your honesty.”

 
I haven’t seen her in the store since.   

Devolution

DEVOLUTION OF DRESS!

DEVOLUTION OF AUTHORITY IN PUBLIC SCHOOLS

What do you think?

DST Spring 2016

For those of you who ‘participate’ in this nonsense…

 

FYI, I really believe this started out as a big joke with DST meaning for Dumb and Stupid Time and the government went for it!

Tough Day

An attorney arrived home late one night, after a very tough day trying to get his client a stay of execution.  His last minute plea for clemency to the governor had failed, and he was feeling worn out and depressed.
 

As soon as he walked through the door at home, his wife started on him:  'What time of night to be getting home is this?  Where have you been?  Dinner is cold and I'm not reheating it'.  And she carried on and on in this tone.
 

Too shattered to play his usual role in this familiar ritual, he poured himself a stiff drink and headed off for a long hot soak in the bathtub, pursued by the predictable sarcastic remarks of his wife as he dragged himself up the stairs.
 

While he was in the bath, the phone rang.  The wife answered and was told that her husband's client, James Wright, had been granted a stay of execution after all.  Wright would not be hanged that night.
 

Finally realizing what a terrible day he must have had, she decided to go upstairs and give him the good news.
 

As she opened the bathroom door, she was greeted by the sight of her husband, back toward her, bent over naked, drying his legs and feet.


'They're not hanging Wright tonight,' she said.
 

He whirled around and screamed, 'FOR THE LOVE OF GOD WOMAN, DON'T YOU EVER STOP?'
 

Phones

Funny but sad and so very true… 

When you’re lucky enough to be with your friends and/or family…

PUT DOWN THE FECKING PHONE!