Australia Computer Terminology

Another joke from our darlin’ Ami over at Ami's Starsong. 

Hope you enjoy.
 
Australia Computer Terminology - Getting ready for Broadband in the bush!!
 
LOGON: Adding wood to make the barbie hotter.
 
LOG OFF: Not adding any more wood to the barbie.
 
MONITOR: Keeping an eye on the barbie.
 
DOWNLOAD: Getting the firewood off the ute.
 
HARD DRIVE: Making the trip back home without any cold tinnies.
 
KEYBOARD: Where you hang the ute keys.
 
WINDOWS: What you shut when the weather's cold.
 
SCREEN: What you shut in the mozzie season.
 
BYTE: What mozzies do.
 
MEGABYTE: What Townsville mozzies do.
 
CHIP: A pub snack.
 
MICROCHIP: What's left in the bag after you've eaten the chips.
 
MODEM: What you did to the lawns.
 
LAPTOP: Where the cat sleeps.
 
SOFTWARE: Plastic knives and forks you get at Red Rooster.

HARDWARE: Stainless steel knives and forks - from K-Mart.

MOUSE: The small rodent that eats the grain in the shed.

MAINFRAME: What holds the shed up.

WEB: What spiders make.

WEBSITE: Usually in the shed or under the verandah.

SEARCH ENGINE: What you do when the ute won't go.

CURSOR: What you say when the ute won't go.

YAHOO: What you say when the ute does go.

UPGRADE: A steep hill.

SERVER: The person at the pub who brings out the counter lunch.

MAIL SERVER: The bloke at the pub who brings out the counter lunch.

USER: The neighbour who keeps borrowing things.

NETWORK:What you do when you need to repair the fishing net.

INTERNET: Where you want the fish to go.

NETSCAPE: What the fish do when they discover a hole in the net.

ONLINE: Where you hang the washing.

OFFLINE: Where the washing ends up when the pegs aren't strong enough.















Some of these sound like a few of our redneck jokes. LOL