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As BUDDHA was quoted:
"There are three things that
cannot be easily hidden, the sun, the moon, the truth."
Two Truths and 5 Rules of Life
SIMPLE TRUTH 1:
Lovers help each other undress before sex.
However, after sex, they always dress on their own.
Moral of the story -- In life, no one helps you once you're
screwed.
SIMPLE TRUTH 2:
When a lady is pregnant, all her friends touch the stomach
and say, "Congrats."
But, none of them comes up to the man - touch his penis and
say, "Good job."
Moral of the story -- Hard work is rarely appreciated.
FIVE RULES TO REMEMBER IN LIFE:
1. Money cannot buy happiness - but it's far more
comfortable to cry in a Porsche than on a bicycle.
2. Forgive your enemy - but remember the *******'s name.
3. If you help someone when they're in trouble - they will
remember you when they're in trouble again.
4. Alcohol does not solve any problems - but then, neither
does milk.
5. Many people are alive only because it's illegal to shoot
them.
BONUS RULE:
Condoms do not guarantee safe sex. A friend of mine was
wearing one when he was shot by the woman's husband.
I think all politicians should wear uniforms. You know, like
NASCAR drivers, so we could identify their corporate sponsors!
Also, all politicians should serve only two terms, one term
in office and one term in jail.
