Stay safe and warm!
Hugs and Blessings to all...Cat
Sunday, December 31, 2017
Saturday, December 30, 2017
Friday, December 29, 2017
Drinking Buddies
Hey y'all...Sorry I haven't been around much the last few weeks...the weeks leading up to Christmas were a bit rough but we made it. Had a lovely and quiet Christmas day. Everyone enjoyed visiting and all the goodies. Then the son of my heart, his girlfriend and his mother came Tuesday evening to celebrate and he was so happy that I had made his favorite goodies...Christmas Crack and Chex Mix. Hope all y'all had a wonderful Christmas celebration and will try to get back to visiting as soon as I can.
Dave and Pete were a couple of drinking buddies who worked as aircraft engineers in Darwin, Australia.
One day the airport was fogged in and they were stuck in the hangar with nothing to do.
Dave said, “Man, I wish we had something to drink!”
Pete says, “Me too. Y'know, I've heard you can drink jet fuel and get a buzz. You wanna try it?”
So they pour themselves a couple of glasses of high octane booze and get completely smashed.
The next morning Dave wakes up and is surprised at how good he feels. In fact he feels GREAT! NO hangover! NO bad side effects. Nothing!
Then the phone rings. It's Pete.
Pete says, Hey, how do you feel this morning?”
Dave says, “I feel great, how about you?”
Pete says, “I feel great, too. You don't have a hangover?”
Dave says, “No that jet fuel is great stuff…no hangover, nothing. We ought to do this more often.”
Pete says, “Yeah, well there's just one thing.”
Dave says, “What's that?”
Pete says, “Have you farted yet?”
Dave says, “No.”
Pete says, “Well, DON’T…'cause I'm in New Zealand!”
I do believe I’ll pass on drinking jet fuel. 🙄
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Dave and Pete were a couple of drinking buddies who worked as aircraft engineers in Darwin, Australia.
One day the airport was fogged in and they were stuck in the hangar with nothing to do.
Dave said, “Man, I wish we had something to drink!”
Pete says, “Me too. Y'know, I've heard you can drink jet fuel and get a buzz. You wanna try it?”
So they pour themselves a couple of glasses of high octane booze and get completely smashed.
The next morning Dave wakes up and is surprised at how good he feels. In fact he feels GREAT! NO hangover! NO bad side effects. Nothing!
Then the phone rings. It's Pete.
Pete says, Hey, how do you feel this morning?”
Dave says, “I feel great, how about you?”
Pete says, “I feel great, too. You don't have a hangover?”
Dave says, “No that jet fuel is great stuff…no hangover, nothing. We ought to do this more often.”
Pete says, “Yeah, well there's just one thing.”
Dave says, “What's that?”
Pete says, “Have you farted yet?”
Dave says, “No.”
Pete says, “Well, DON’T…'cause I'm in New Zealand!”
I do believe I’ll pass on drinking jet fuel. 🙄
Thursday, December 28, 2017
Last Trip to Costco
Yesterday I was at Costco buying a large bag of Purina dog chow for my loyal pet, Necco, The Wonder Dog, which weighs 191 lbs. I was in the check-out line when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog.
What did she think I had an elephant?
So because I'm retired and have little to do, on impulse I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, I was starting the Purina Diet again. I added that I probably shouldn’t, because I ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.
I told her that it was essentially a Perfect Diet and that the way that it works is, to load your jacket pockets with Purina Nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so it works well and I was going to try it again. (I should mention here that practically everyone in line was now enthralled with my story.)
Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care, because the dog food poisoned me. I told her no, I stopped to pee on a fire hydrant and a car hit me.
I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard.
Costco won't let me shop there anymore.
Better watch what you ask retired people. They have all the time in the world to think of crazy things to say. Forward this (especially) to all your retired friends... it will be their laugh for the day.
What did she think I had an elephant?
So because I'm retired and have little to do, on impulse I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, I was starting the Purina Diet again. I added that I probably shouldn’t, because I ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.
I told her that it was essentially a Perfect Diet and that the way that it works is, to load your jacket pockets with Purina Nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so it works well and I was going to try it again. (I should mention here that practically everyone in line was now enthralled with my story.)
Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care, because the dog food poisoned me. I told her no, I stopped to pee on a fire hydrant and a car hit me.
I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard.
Costco won't let me shop there anymore.
Better watch what you ask retired people. They have all the time in the world to think of crazy things to say. Forward this (especially) to all your retired friends... it will be their laugh for the day.
Wednesday, December 27, 2017
Tuesday, December 26, 2017
Monday, December 25, 2017
Sunday, December 24, 2017
Saturday, December 23, 2017
Friday, December 22, 2017
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