Tuesday, January 31, 2017
Monday, January 30, 2017
Eating in the Fifties and Sixties
Another giggle from our darlin’ Ami.
But the things that we never ever had on our table in the sixties…
Many of these were true in both the US and England but others…such eating plain white rice and as cooking outside aka grilling was definitely around in the 60’s.
Pasta was not eaten in Australia.
Curry was a surname.
A takeaway was a mathematical problem.
A pizza was something to do with a leaning tower.
All potato crisps were plain; the only choice we had was whether to put the salt on or not.
Rice was only eaten as a milk pudding.
Calamari was called squid and we used it as fish bait.
A Big Mac was what we wore when it was raining.
Brown bread was something only poor people ate.
Oil was for lubricating, fat was for cooking.
Tea was made in a teapot using tea leaves and they were never green.
Sugar enjoyed a good press in those days, and was regarded as being white gold.
Cubed sugar was regarded as posh.
Fish didn't have fingers in those days.
Eating raw fish was called poverty,
Eating raw fish was called poverty,
not sushi.
None of us had ever heard of yoghurt.
Healthy food consisted of anything edible.
People who didn't peel potatoes were regarded as lazy.
Indian restaurants were only found in India.
Cooking outside was called camping.
Seaweed was not a recognised food.
"Kebab" was not even a word, never mind a food.
Prunes were medicinal.
Surprisingly, muesli was readily available; it was called cattle feed.
Drinking water came out of the tap.
If someone had suggested bottling it and charging more than petrol for it, they would have become a laughing stock!!
But the things that we never ever had on our table in the sixties…
Elbows or Phones!
Many of these were true in both the US and England but others…such eating plain white rice and as cooking outside aka grilling was definitely around in the 60’s.
Sunday, January 29, 2017
From The One & Only Phyllis Diller
Don’t know how many of you remember Phyillis Diller but she was an American actress and stand-up comedian,. She was best known for her eccentric stage persona, her self-deprecating humor, her wild hair and clothes, and her exaggerated, cackling laugh.. (per Wikipedia)
Whatever you may look like, marry a man your own age. As your beauty fades, so will his eyesight.
Housework can't kill you, but why take a chance?
Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing up is like shoveling the sidewalk before it stops snowing.
The reason women don't play football is because 11 of them would never wear the same outfit in public.
Best way to get rid of kitchen odors: Eat out.
A bachelor is a guy who never made the same mistake once.
I want my children to have all the things I couldn't afford. Then I want to move in with them.
Most children threaten at times to run away from home. This is the only thing that keeps some parents going.
Any time three New Yorkers get into a cab without an argument, a bank has just been robbed.
We spend the first twelve months of our children's lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next twelve years telling them to sit down and shut up.
Burt Reynolds once asked me out. I was in his room.
Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight!
What I don't like about office Christmas parties is looking for a job the next day.
The only time I ever enjoyed ironing was the day I accidentally got gin in the steam iron.
His finest hour lasted a minute and a half.
Old age is when the liver spots show through your gloves.
My photographs don't do me justice -they just look like me.
I admit, I have a tremendous sex drive. My boyfriend lives forty miles away.
Tranquilizers work only if you follow the advice on the bottle - keep away from children.
I asked the waiter, 'Is this milk fresh?' He said, 'Lady, three hours ago it was grass.'
The reason the golf pro tells you to keep your head down is so you can't see him laughing.
You know you're old if they have discontinued your blood type.
A smile is a curve that sets everything straight.
Whatever you may look like, marry a man your own age. As your beauty fades, so will his eyesight.
Housework can't kill you, but why take a chance?
Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing up is like shoveling the sidewalk before it stops snowing.
The reason women don't play football is because 11 of them would never wear the same outfit in public.
Best way to get rid of kitchen odors: Eat out.
A bachelor is a guy who never made the same mistake once.
I want my children to have all the things I couldn't afford. Then I want to move in with them.
Most children threaten at times to run away from home. This is the only thing that keeps some parents going.
Any time three New Yorkers get into a cab without an argument, a bank has just been robbed.
We spend the first twelve months of our children's lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next twelve years telling them to sit down and shut up.
Burt Reynolds once asked me out. I was in his room.
Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight!
What I don't like about office Christmas parties is looking for a job the next day.
The only time I ever enjoyed ironing was the day I accidentally got gin in the steam iron.
His finest hour lasted a minute and a half.
Old age is when the liver spots show through your gloves.
My photographs don't do me justice -they just look like me.
I admit, I have a tremendous sex drive. My boyfriend lives forty miles away.
Tranquilizers work only if you follow the advice on the bottle - keep away from children.
I asked the waiter, 'Is this milk fresh?' He said, 'Lady, three hours ago it was grass.'
The reason the golf pro tells you to keep your head down is so you can't see him laughing.
You know you're old if they have discontinued your blood type.
A smile is a curve that sets everything straight.
Saturday, January 28, 2017
The World is Mine
Today, upon a bus, I saw a very beautiful woman and wished I were as beautiful.
When suddenly she rose to leave, I saw her hobble down the aisle.
She had one leg and used a crutch. But as she passed, she gave a smile.
Oh, God, forgive me when I whine. I have two legs; the world is mine.
I stopped to buy some candy. The lad who sold it had such charm.
I talked with him, he seemed so glad. If I were late, it'd do no harm.
And as I left, he said to me, "I thank you, you've been so kind.
It's nice to talk with folks like you. You see," he said, "I'm blind."
Oh, God, forgive me when I whine. I have two eyes; the world is mine.
Later while walking down the street, I saw a child I knew.
He stood and watched the others play, but he did not know what to do.
I stopped a moment and then I said, "Why don't you join them dear?"
He looked ahead without a word. I forgot, he couldn't hear.
Oh, God, forgive me when I whine. I have two ears; the world is mine.
With feet to take me where I'd go.
With eyes to see the sunset's glow.
With ears to hear what I'd know.
Oh, God, forgive me when I whine. I've been blessed indeed, the world is mine.
After all, it's just a simple reminder that we have so much to be thankful for!
Give the gift of love. It never comes back empty! I have been truly blessed with AWESOME FRIENDS.
When suddenly she rose to leave, I saw her hobble down the aisle.
She had one leg and used a crutch. But as she passed, she gave a smile.
Oh, God, forgive me when I whine. I have two legs; the world is mine.
I stopped to buy some candy. The lad who sold it had such charm.
I talked with him, he seemed so glad. If I were late, it'd do no harm.
And as I left, he said to me, "I thank you, you've been so kind.
It's nice to talk with folks like you. You see," he said, "I'm blind."
Oh, God, forgive me when I whine. I have two eyes; the world is mine.
Later while walking down the street, I saw a child I knew.
He stood and watched the others play, but he did not know what to do.
I stopped a moment and then I said, "Why don't you join them dear?"
He looked ahead without a word. I forgot, he couldn't hear.
Oh, God, forgive me when I whine. I have two ears; the world is mine.
With feet to take me where I'd go.
With eyes to see the sunset's glow.
With ears to hear what I'd know.
Oh, God, forgive me when I whine. I've been blessed indeed, the world is mine.
After all, it's just a simple reminder that we have so much to be thankful for!
- Author Unknown
Give the gift of love. It never comes back empty! I have been truly blessed with AWESOME FRIENDS.
Friday, January 27, 2017
Men
This actually happened… 
They dressed the truck up with the guy tied down on the Roof.
The driver and passengers put on moose heads.
Then they went down the toll road Interstate…causing 16 accidents.
Yes; they went to jail..
Yes; alcohol was involved…
Yes; men cannot be left alone.
They dressed the truck up with the guy tied down on the Roof.
The driver and passengers put on moose heads.
Then they went down the toll road Interstate…causing 16 accidents.
Yes; they went to jail..
Yes; alcohol was involved…
Yes; men cannot be left alone.
Thursday, January 26, 2017
Bob and the Guys
Bob, a 70-year-old, extremely wealthy widower, shows up at the Country Club with a breathtakingly beautiful and very sexy 25-year-old blonde-haired woman who knocks everyone's socks off with her youthful sex appeal and charm and who hangs over Bob's arm and listens intently to his every word.
His buddies at the club are all aghast.
At the very first chance, they corner him and ask, 'Bob, how'd you get the trophy girlfriend?'
Bob replies, 'Girlfriend? She's my wife!'
They are knocked over, but continue to ask.'So, how'd you persuade her to marry you?'
'I lied about my age', Bob replies.
'What, did you tell her you were only 50?'
Bob smiles and says, 'No, I told her I was 90.'
His buddies at the club are all aghast.
At the very first chance, they corner him and ask, 'Bob, how'd you get the trophy girlfriend?'
Bob replies, 'Girlfriend? She's my wife!'
They are knocked over, but continue to ask.'So, how'd you persuade her to marry you?'
'I lied about my age', Bob replies.
'What, did you tell her you were only 50?'
Bob smiles and says, 'No, I told her I was 90.'
Wednesday, January 25, 2017
Day of Golfing
Got home real late last night after a full day of golfing, drinking, and hanging out with the guys, and my wife left a message in the kitchen….
I think she wants me to eat more fruit, bless her heart!
Awww…bless his heart…I think he needs an interpreter.
I think she wants me to eat more fruit, bless her heart!
Awww…bless his heart…I think he needs an interpreter.
Tuesday, January 24, 2017
Late Night Vet Call
Meredith's Jack is starting to get back in to keeping us supplied with giggles.
Her dog was in heat, but she agreed to look after her neighbor's male dog while the neighbor was on vacation.
She had a large house and she believed that she could keep the two dogs apart. However, as she was drifting off to sleep, she heard awful howling sounds. She rushed downstairs and found the dogs locked together and unable to disengage, as frequently happens when dogs mate.
Unable to separate them, and perplexed as to what to do next, and although it was very late at night, she called her vet, who answered in a very grumpy voice.
After she explained the problem to him, the vet said, "Hang up the phone and place it down alongside the dogs. I will then call you back and the noise of the ringing will make the male lose his erection and he will be able to withdraw."
"Do you think that will work?" she asked.
"Just worked for me," he replied.
Her dog was in heat, but she agreed to look after her neighbor's male dog while the neighbor was on vacation.
She had a large house and she believed that she could keep the two dogs apart. However, as she was drifting off to sleep, she heard awful howling sounds. She rushed downstairs and found the dogs locked together and unable to disengage, as frequently happens when dogs mate.
Unable to separate them, and perplexed as to what to do next, and although it was very late at night, she called her vet, who answered in a very grumpy voice.
After she explained the problem to him, the vet said, "Hang up the phone and place it down alongside the dogs. I will then call you back and the noise of the ringing will make the male lose his erection and he will be able to withdraw."
"Do you think that will work?" she asked.
"Just worked for me," he replied.
Monday, January 23, 2017
Just So You’ll Know…
One of our newer bloggers has decided to join in those that contribute giggles for our enjoyment and sent the following. Thank you Baker.
Sunday, January 22, 2017
Enemies
Here’s a giggle from someone we haven’t heard from for a while…our darlin’ Ami over at Ami's Starsong. 
Toward the end of the Sunday service, the Minister asked, "How many of you have forgiven your enemies?"
80% held up their hands.
The Minister then repeated his question.
All responded this time, except one man, an avid golfer named Walter Barnes, who attended church only when the weather was bad.
"Mr. Barnes, it's obviously not a good morning for golf. It's good to see you here today. Are you not willing to forgive your enemies?"
"I don't have any," he replied gruffly.
"Mr. Barnes, that is very unusual. How old are you?"
"Ninety-eight," he replied. The congregation stood up and clapped their hands.
"Oh, Mr. Barnes, would you please come down to the front and tell us all how a person can live ninety-eight years and not have an enemy in the world?"
The old golfer tottered down the aisle, stopped in front of the pulpit, turned around, faced the congregation, and said simply, "I outlived the bastards."
Toward the end of the Sunday service, the Minister asked, "How many of you have forgiven your enemies?"
80% held up their hands.
The Minister then repeated his question.
All responded this time, except one man, an avid golfer named Walter Barnes, who attended church only when the weather was bad.
"Mr. Barnes, it's obviously not a good morning for golf. It's good to see you here today. Are you not willing to forgive your enemies?"
"I don't have any," he replied gruffly.
"Mr. Barnes, that is very unusual. How old are you?"
"Ninety-eight," he replied. The congregation stood up and clapped their hands.
"Oh, Mr. Barnes, would you please come down to the front and tell us all how a person can live ninety-eight years and not have an enemy in the world?"
The old golfer tottered down the aisle, stopped in front of the pulpit, turned around, faced the congregation, and said simply, "I outlived the bastards."
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