Monday, March 12, 2018
Sunday, March 11, 2018
Saturday, March 10, 2018
Friday, March 9, 2018
Thursday, March 8, 2018
Wednesday, March 7, 2018
Tuesday, March 6, 2018
Hubby’s Results
Here's another fun giggle courtesy of our lovely Ami's Star Song...
The husband was a bit embarrassed and told the doctor he had trouble getting an erection with his wife and she was getting frustrated.
The doc checked the man's blood pressure and other vitals, then after a thorough examination said he wanted to check with the wife.
He took her to another cubicle and asked her to disrobe. Then he told her to turn all the way around slowly.
She did as instructed. He then told her to raise her arms above her head, then bend over, touch her toes and cough.
Finally he said, "Ok, good. You can get dressed now, and I will go talk to your husband".
The doctor went back to the other cubicle and said to the husband, "Well, you can relax, there is nothing wrong with you. I couldn't get an erection either."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The husband was a bit embarrassed and told the doctor he had trouble getting an erection with his wife and she was getting frustrated.
The doc checked the man's blood pressure and other vitals, then after a thorough examination said he wanted to check with the wife.
He took her to another cubicle and asked her to disrobe. Then he told her to turn all the way around slowly.
She did as instructed. He then told her to raise her arms above her head, then bend over, touch her toes and cough.
Finally he said, "Ok, good. You can get dressed now, and I will go talk to your husband".
The doctor went back to the other cubicle and said to the husband, "Well, you can relax, there is nothing wrong with you. I couldn't get an erection either."
Monday, March 5, 2018
Attorney’s Tough Day
Had shared this fun giggle a few years ago but when I received it from Meredith's Jack, decided it was too good not to share again. Enjoy!
An attorney arrived home late one night, after a very tough day trying to get his client a stay of execution. His last minute plea for clemency to the governor had failed, and he was feeling worn out and depressed.
As soon as he walked through the door at home, his wife started on him: 'What time of night to be getting home is this? Where have you been? Dinner is cold and I'm not reheating it'. And she carried on and on in this tone.
Too shattered to play his usual role in this familiar ritual, he poured himself a stiff drink and headed off for a long hot soak in the bathtub, pursued by the predictable sarcastic remarks of his wife as he dragged himself up the stairs.
While he was in the bath, the phone rang. The wife answered and was told that her husband's client, James Wright, had been granted a stay of execution after all. Wright would not be hanged that night.
Finally realizing what a terrible day he must have had, she decided to go upstairs and give him the good news.
As she opened the bathroom door, she was greeted by the sight of her husband, back toward her, bent over naked, drying his legs and feet.
'They're not hanging Wright tonight,' she said.
He whirled around and screamed, “FOR THE LOVE OF GOD WOMAN, DON'T YOU EVER STOP?”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
As soon as he walked through the door at home, his wife started on him: 'What time of night to be getting home is this? Where have you been? Dinner is cold and I'm not reheating it'. And she carried on and on in this tone.
Too shattered to play his usual role in this familiar ritual, he poured himself a stiff drink and headed off for a long hot soak in the bathtub, pursued by the predictable sarcastic remarks of his wife as he dragged himself up the stairs.
While he was in the bath, the phone rang. The wife answered and was told that her husband's client, James Wright, had been granted a stay of execution after all. Wright would not be hanged that night.
Finally realizing what a terrible day he must have had, she decided to go upstairs and give him the good news.
As she opened the bathroom door, she was greeted by the sight of her husband, back toward her, bent over naked, drying his legs and feet.
'They're not hanging Wright tonight,' she said.
He whirled around and screamed, “FOR THE LOVE OF GOD WOMAN, DON'T YOU EVER STOP?”
Sunday, March 4, 2018
Out of the Mouths of Babes...
Here's a fun giggle courtesy of our lovely Ami's Star Song...
Some good and some really mad me smile! Hope you enjoy these observations.
(Written by kids)
1. HOW DO YOU DECIDE WHO TO MARRY?
You got to find somebody who likes the same stuff. Like, if you like sports, she should like it that you like sports, and she should keep the chips and dip coming.
Alan, age 10
Some good and some really mad me smile! Hope you enjoy these observations.
(Written by kids)
1. HOW DO YOU DECIDE WHO TO MARRY?
You got to find somebody who likes the same stuff. Like, if you like sports, she should like it that you like sports, and she should keep the chips and dip coming.
Alan, age 10
No person really decides before they grow up who they're going to marry. God decides it all way before, and you get to find out later who you're stuck with.
Kristen, age 10
2. WHAT IS THE RIGHT AGE TO GET MARRIED?
Twenty-three is the best age because you know the person FOREVER by then..
Camille, age 10
3. HOW CAN A STRANGER TELL IF TWO PEOPLE ARE MARRIED?
You might have to guess, based on whether they seem to be yelling at the same kids.
Derrick, age 8
4. WHAT DO YOU THINK YOUR MOM AND DAD HAVE IN COMMON?
Both don't want any more kids.
Lori, age 8
5. WHAT DO MOST PEOPLE DO ON A DATE?
Dates are for having fun, and people should use them to get to know each other. Even boys have something to say if you listen long enough.
Lynnette, age 8 (isn't she a treasure?)
On the first date, they just tell each other lies and that usually gets them interested enough to go for a second date.
Martin, age 10
6. WHEN IS IT OKAY TO KISS SOMEONE?
When they're rich.
Pam, age 7 (Love her)
The law says you have to be eighteen, so I wouldn't want to mess with that.
Curt, age 7
The rule goes like this: If you kiss someone, then you should marry them and have kids with them. It's the right thing to do.
Howard, age 8
7. IS IT BETTER TO BE SINGLE OR MARRIED?
It's better for girls to be single but not for boys. Boys need someone to clean up after them.
Anita, age 9 (bless you child )
8. HOW WOULD THE WORLD BE DIFFERENT IF PEOPLE DIDN'T GET MARRIED?
There sure would be a lot of kids to explain, wouldn't there?
Kelvin, age 8
And the #1 Favorite is...
9. HOW WOULD YOU MAKE A MARRIAGE WORK?
Tell your wife that she looks pretty, even if she looks like a dump truck.
Ricky, age 9
Lynnette, age 8 (isn't she a treasure?)
On the first date, they just tell each other lies and that usually gets them interested enough to go for a second date.
Martin, age 10
6. WHEN IS IT OKAY TO KISS SOMEONE?
When they're rich.
Pam, age 7 (Love her)
The law says you have to be eighteen, so I wouldn't want to mess with that.
Curt, age 7
The rule goes like this: If you kiss someone, then you should marry them and have kids with them. It's the right thing to do.
Howard, age 8
7. IS IT BETTER TO BE SINGLE OR MARRIED?
It's better for girls to be single but not for boys. Boys need someone to clean up after them.
Anita, age 9 (bless you child )
8. HOW WOULD THE WORLD BE DIFFERENT IF PEOPLE DIDN'T GET MARRIED?
There sure would be a lot of kids to explain, wouldn't there?
Kelvin, age 8
And the #1 Favorite is...
9. HOW WOULD YOU MAKE A MARRIAGE WORK?
Tell your wife that she looks pretty, even if she looks like a dump truck.
Ricky, age 9
Saturday, March 3, 2018
Cherokee Legend
Do you know the legend of the Cherokee Indian youths' rite of passage?
His father takes him into the forest, blindfolds him and leaves him alone. He is required to sit on a stump the whole night and not remove the blindfold until the rays of the morning sun shine through it.
He cannot cry out for help to anyone.
Once he survives the night, he is a MAN.
He cannot tell the other boys of this experience, because each lad must come into manhood on his own. The boy is naturally terrified. He can hear all kinds of noises. Wild beasts must surely be all around him . Maybe even some human might do him harm. The wind blows the grass and earth, and shakes his stump, but he sits stoically, never removing the blindfold. It would be the only way he could become a man!
Finally, after a horrific night the sun appears and he removes his blindfold.
It is then that he discovers his father sitting on the stump next to him.
He has been at watch the entire night, protecting his son from harm.
We, too, are never alone. Even when we don't know it God is watching over us, sitting on the stump beside us. When trouble comes, all we have to do is reach out to Him.
His father takes him into the forest, blindfolds him and leaves him alone. He is required to sit on a stump the whole night and not remove the blindfold until the rays of the morning sun shine through it.
He cannot cry out for help to anyone.
Once he survives the night, he is a MAN.
He cannot tell the other boys of this experience, because each lad must come into manhood on his own. The boy is naturally terrified. He can hear all kinds of noises. Wild beasts must surely be all around him . Maybe even some human might do him harm. The wind blows the grass and earth, and shakes his stump, but he sits stoically, never removing the blindfold. It would be the only way he could become a man!
Finally, after a horrific night the sun appears and he removes his blindfold.
It is then that he discovers his father sitting on the stump next to him.
He has been at watch the entire night, protecting his son from harm.
We, too, are never alone. Even when we don't know it God is watching over us, sitting on the stump beside us. When trouble comes, all we have to do is reach out to Him.
Moral of the story:
Just because you can't see God,
Doesn't mean He is not there
"For we walk by faith, not by sight."
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