Saturday, May 21, 2016
Friday, May 20, 2016
Thursday, May 19, 2016
Odd Food Combinations
A friend sent me this list with 11 Of the MOST ODD Food Combinations!! I don’t consider all of them odd and have enjoyed a few of them. What about you? Do you enjoy any of these or consider them all odd. 
Spaghetti Sandwich
Fritos With Caramel
Spaghetti Sandwich
Mayonnaise and Banana Sandwich
Fries In A Frosty
Potato Chips And Nutella
Steak Pops
A round piece of steak slathered in barbecue sauce, sprinkled with sprinkles
Cupcake Filled Sausage
Sausage casing is filled with cupcake batter and then baked
Hot Dog With Mac N Cheese
Glaze Donut With Egg, Bacon, and Sausage
Jelly Toast With Cheese
Meat Shot Glasses
Just as the title suggest
Courtesy of Randomly Funny Stuff
Wednesday, May 18, 2016
Tuesday, May 17, 2016
Worst Customer Ever
I’m a manager at a grocery store, so I get awesomely rude customers on a daily basis.
Every Wednesday is senior discount day. You have to be 55-60 to qualify for the discount. Needless to say, Wednesdays are tense. Lots of seniors, and lots of other people who don’t want to deal with the seniors. I don’t generally mind the old folks. Most of them are pretty cool and have some interesting stories and cute jokes.
This Wednesday there was one particular customer who was being a huge pain in the a** from the moment she walked in. She was tall, blonde, high heels, very made up, and dressed to the nines. She was probably late 30s to early 40s. She came storming up to customer service, “There are NO parking spots. This is ridiculous. I’m going to request to corporate that you expand your parking lot, since you don’t seem to have the initiative to request that yourself.”
Off to a great start, lady.
She comes storming back up about 45 minutes later. “I am in a HUGE hurry, and every line has someone in it. I need to check out here.”
We had three lines open, and each one had ONE single customer.
ONE.
I say “No problem, but I’ll get you at a checkout. You have too many items to get here.”
She has a HUGE hissy fit. “I don’t have time for this. Let’s GO.”
At this point I was getting really annoyed…As I’m checking her out, it is constant complaining.
“You only have one brand of makeup? That is ridiculous. I only wear MAC, but I was going to settle for Revlon, but you don’t even have that. Now I have to make a whole separate trip.”
“Please don’t put my bread on top of my eggs, the eggs could roll over and crush the bread.”
“Please bag my avocados separately; I need to use those for a face mask tonight. They need to be perfect, I have a photo session for work tomorrow. I’m in a magazine.”
She was unbelievable. Finally, at the end, I had had enough.
As she’s about to pay, I say, “Don’t forget today is senior discount day! You get 5% off!”
She just stared at me.
“What?” I smiled broadly. “Every Wednesday, senior citizens get 5% off their bill. I’ll go ahead and take it off. You are 55-60, right?”
She is staring at me, debit card in hand, cheeks getting red.
I lose my smile slowly and say “Oh, you don’t qualify? Sorry about that. Maybe next year! Thanks for your honesty.”
I haven’t seen her in the store since.
Every Wednesday is senior discount day. You have to be 55-60 to qualify for the discount. Needless to say, Wednesdays are tense. Lots of seniors, and lots of other people who don’t want to deal with the seniors. I don’t generally mind the old folks. Most of them are pretty cool and have some interesting stories and cute jokes.
This Wednesday there was one particular customer who was being a huge pain in the a** from the moment she walked in. She was tall, blonde, high heels, very made up, and dressed to the nines. She was probably late 30s to early 40s. She came storming up to customer service, “There are NO parking spots. This is ridiculous. I’m going to request to corporate that you expand your parking lot, since you don’t seem to have the initiative to request that yourself.”
Off to a great start, lady.
She comes storming back up about 45 minutes later. “I am in a HUGE hurry, and every line has someone in it. I need to check out here.”
We had three lines open, and each one had ONE single customer.
ONE.
I say “No problem, but I’ll get you at a checkout. You have too many items to get here.”
She has a HUGE hissy fit. “I don’t have time for this. Let’s GO.”
At this point I was getting really annoyed…As I’m checking her out, it is constant complaining.
“You only have one brand of makeup? That is ridiculous. I only wear MAC, but I was going to settle for Revlon, but you don’t even have that. Now I have to make a whole separate trip.”
“Please don’t put my bread on top of my eggs, the eggs could roll over and crush the bread.”
“Please bag my avocados separately; I need to use those for a face mask tonight. They need to be perfect, I have a photo session for work tomorrow. I’m in a magazine.”
She was unbelievable. Finally, at the end, I had had enough.
As she’s about to pay, I say, “Don’t forget today is senior discount day! You get 5% off!”
She just stared at me.
“What?” I smiled broadly. “Every Wednesday, senior citizens get 5% off their bill. I’ll go ahead and take it off. You are 55-60, right?”
She is staring at me, debit card in hand, cheeks getting red.
I lose my smile slowly and say “Oh, you don’t qualify? Sorry about that. Maybe next year! Thanks for your honesty.”
I haven’t seen her in the store since.
Monday, May 16, 2016
Sunday, May 15, 2016
Funny Sayings
15 Funny Sayings You’ll Only Hear From A Southerner
No one has mastered the regional colloquialism like a born and bred southerner. These are the creators of the backhanded compliment, and the original shade throwers. There are thousands of sayings you'll only find a southerner saying, so we complied some of our favorites here along with explanations for you Yankees who just don't get it! Bless your heart.
15. I'm busier than a 2-dollar whore on nickel night.
Just another day of running around picking up dry cleaning, grocery shopping, taking the kids to soccer practice... but that's not as fun to say.
14. She could start an argument in an empty house.
This is the girl who will fight anyone about anything. You can tell her the sky is blue, and she'll tell you it's green just for the sake of argument.
13. She's about a useful as a screen door on a submarine.
As in, she's not useful at all. This is basically the dumbest one of the bunch.
12. That stinks so bad it could knock a buzzard off a gut wagon.
It is literally the worst thing you have ever smelt in your life.
11. I'm as fine as frog’s hair split four ways.
You are feeling GOOOOOOD. It doesn't necessarily need to mean you're drunk, you could be sober as a judge and not have a care in the world.
10. She's grinning like a possum eating a sweet potato.
Those poor possums, they eat nothing but other road kill and insects for a living so image if they got their little paws on a sweet potato! It's just a wide smile that comes out of pure bliss.
9. Last time I saw you, you were knee-high to a grasshopper.
This is normally uttered by an older man to a young family member he hasn't seen in a long time. This is actually one of the most common expressions you'll come across on this list.
8. He's about as confused as a fart in a fan factory.
This guy doesn't have a clue what's going on. Seriously, homie has no idea.
7. If leather were brains, she wouldn't have enough to saddle a junebug.
You guessed it, she is one dumb you-know-what. This is a one of a kind stupid.
6. You don't watch out, I'm gonna cream your corn.
You have pushed someones buttons just enough that they aren't just gonna let it go anymore. This is your last and final warning.
5. Well butter my butt and call me a biscuit!
Something has genuinely surprised you. This is something that you never thought would happen.
4. Colder than a banker's heart on foreclosure day at the widows' and orphans' home.
It's really, super freezing outside. Like, the coldest it has ever been.
3. You’d call an alligator a lizard.
You're a liar. You also have a problem giving credit where credit is due.
2. She's busier than a cat trying to bury her poop on a marble floor.
Seriously, this woman is never going to get everything done in time.
1. He squeezes a quarter so tight the eagle screams.
This is the cheapest guy you know. We all have that one friend who will only order water at a restaurant and never wants to buy you a gift over $10.
I’m sure that many of my Southern friends can add more to these. I'll add the following:
Busier than a one-armed paper hanger.
Busier than a one-legged man in a butt kickin' contest.
That dog won't hunt.
More nervous than a cat in a roomful of rocking chairs.
Stick a fork in me and call me done!
Dumber than a box of rocks.
No one has mastered the regional colloquialism like a born and bred southerner. These are the creators of the backhanded compliment, and the original shade throwers. There are thousands of sayings you'll only find a southerner saying, so we complied some of our favorites here along with explanations for you Yankees who just don't get it! Bless your heart.
15. I'm busier than a 2-dollar whore on nickel night.
Just another day of running around picking up dry cleaning, grocery shopping, taking the kids to soccer practice... but that's not as fun to say.
14. She could start an argument in an empty house.
This is the girl who will fight anyone about anything. You can tell her the sky is blue, and she'll tell you it's green just for the sake of argument.
13. She's about a useful as a screen door on a submarine.
As in, she's not useful at all. This is basically the dumbest one of the bunch.
12. That stinks so bad it could knock a buzzard off a gut wagon.
It is literally the worst thing you have ever smelt in your life.
11. I'm as fine as frog’s hair split four ways.
You are feeling GOOOOOOD. It doesn't necessarily need to mean you're drunk, you could be sober as a judge and not have a care in the world.
10. She's grinning like a possum eating a sweet potato.
Those poor possums, they eat nothing but other road kill and insects for a living so image if they got their little paws on a sweet potato! It's just a wide smile that comes out of pure bliss.
9. Last time I saw you, you were knee-high to a grasshopper.
This is normally uttered by an older man to a young family member he hasn't seen in a long time. This is actually one of the most common expressions you'll come across on this list.
8. He's about as confused as a fart in a fan factory.
This guy doesn't have a clue what's going on. Seriously, homie has no idea.
7. If leather were brains, she wouldn't have enough to saddle a junebug.
You guessed it, she is one dumb you-know-what. This is a one of a kind stupid.
6. You don't watch out, I'm gonna cream your corn.
You have pushed someones buttons just enough that they aren't just gonna let it go anymore. This is your last and final warning.
5. Well butter my butt and call me a biscuit!
Something has genuinely surprised you. This is something that you never thought would happen.
4. Colder than a banker's heart on foreclosure day at the widows' and orphans' home.
It's really, super freezing outside. Like, the coldest it has ever been.
3. You’d call an alligator a lizard.
You're a liar. You also have a problem giving credit where credit is due.
2. She's busier than a cat trying to bury her poop on a marble floor.
Seriously, this woman is never going to get everything done in time.
1. He squeezes a quarter so tight the eagle screams.
This is the cheapest guy you know. We all have that one friend who will only order water at a restaurant and never wants to buy you a gift over $10.
Courtesy of Rant Places
I’m sure that many of my Southern friends can add more to these. I'll add the following:
Busier than a one-armed paper hanger.
Busier than a one-legged man in a butt kickin' contest.
That dog won't hunt.
More nervous than a cat in a roomful of rocking chairs.
Stick a fork in me and call me done!
Dumber than a box of rocks.
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