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Friday, September 8, 2017

Genius Sex Moves

9 Genius Sex Moves to Try on Your Man This Fall
 He'll be falling all over himself, literally.
 
1. The "Sweater Weather."
Surprise your man by wearing a super-soft fuzzy fall sweater...AND NOTHING ELSE. You'll be soooo touchable.
 
2. The "Extra Spicy Pumpkin Latte."
Warm your mouth with some pumpkin-flavored coffee before going south *wink wink*. To add even more spice, let a little dribble out of the corners of your mouth first; the visual of dripping liquid is VERY sexy.
 
3. The "Boot Knocker."
Blindfold your man and then gently slide his dick in and out of your favorite boots. The rough and soft textures will be crazy hot and sexual.
 
4. The "Sweet Potato Smash."
Smash up some sweet potatoes and leave them on the kitchen table with a note that reads "Enjoy!" He'll know what to do with them.
 
5. The "Thanks-for-giving."
Give your man a special Thanksgiving treat with this classic move: During sex, suddenly yell, "I'M A DEAD FALL TREE," then stay very still for the remainder, letting him do all the work. Afterward, simply whisper, "Thanks...for giving."
 
6. The "Halloween Surprise."
Put on your fave halloween mask and surprise your man with a morning blow job! So easy and effective.
 
7. The "Leaf Pile."
Rake up some dirty leaves from your yard and pile them onto his bed. Hide in it nakie until he's nearby, then jump out and yell, "I'M FALLING FOR YOU!" He'll be so turned on he might faint. Extra points if you bring some squirrels in with you.
 
8. The "Candied Apple."
Using your favorite candy apple recipe, heat up some burning hot caramel on the stove. Act like you're about to pour it on his butt, then quickly pull out some apples and say, "JK JK JK JK." But then pour it on his butt.
 
9. The "Sexy Foliage."
Go hide in the woods for the next few months, only communicating by leaving him ominous voicemails of forest animals chattering. Eventually lose contact with him and everything you knew before. Become a forest enchantress. This is your life now. Fuck society.
 
*This article is for entertainment purposes only. Please don't pour burning caramel on your loved ones. 😹
 
Courtesy of BuzzFeed

6 comments:

  1. Cat,
    I like you well and thinking. These are great although I think I am the only woman in all America that does not like pumpkin spice.
    Meredith

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks, Mere. I like pumpkin but don't like coffee so pumpkin spice whatever is not for me. :)

      Hugs and blessings...Cat

      Delete
  2. LoL Cat, love these, although I'm not so sure I'll be trying any lol. Sl good to see you back and commenting around. I've missed seeing you :)

    Hugs
    Roz

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Happy you enjoyed them, Roz...yea, I took them more as jokes rather than actual suggestions. :) Have missed all y'all.

      Hugs and blessings...Cat

      Delete
  3. Interesting reading, but I think I will pass....hugs abby

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Think ya have the right idea, Abby. ;)

      Hugs and blessings...Cat

      Delete

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