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Friday, September 29, 2017

logic for dummies

Our Meredith's Jack is at it again! Smile 

♦ I read that 4,153,237 people got married last year, not to cause any trouble but shouldn't that be an even number?

♦ Today a man knocked on my door and asked for a small donation towards the local swimming pool. I gave him a glass of water.

♦ I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.
 
♦ I find it ironic that the colors red, white, and blue stand for freedom until they are flashing behind you.
 
♦ A recent study has found that woman who carry a little extra weight, live longer than the men who mention it.
 
♦ Relationships are a lot like algebra. Have you ever looked at your X and wondered Y?
 
♦ America is a country which produces citizens who will cross the ocean to fight for democracy but won't cross the street to vote.
 
♦ Did you know that dolphins are so smart that within a few weeks of captivity, they can train people to stand on the very edge of the pool and throw them fish?
 
♦ My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance.
We'll see about that.
 
♦ You're not fat, you're just…easier to see.
 
♦ If you think nobody cares whether you're alive, try missing a couple of payments.
 
♦ I always wondered what the job application is like at Hooters. Do they just give you a bra and say, “Here, fill this out?”
 
♦ My therapist said that my narcissism causes me to misread social situations. I’m pretty sure she was hitting on me.
 
♦ My 60 year kindergarten reunion is coming up soon and I’m worried about the 175 pounds I’ve gained since then.
 
♦ Denny’s has a slogan, “If it’s your birthday, the meal is on us.” If you’re in Denny’s and it’s your birthday, your life sucks!
 
♦ The pharmacist asked me my birth date again today. I’m pretty sure she’s going to get me something.
 
♦ Money can’t buy happiness, but it keeps the kids in touch!

6 comments:

  1. These are great, love them all. Thanks Jack and Cat :)

    Hugs
    Roz

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Happy you enjoyed them, Roz. :)

      Hugs and blessings...Cat

      Delete
  2. Cat,
    Always happy I introduced you and Jack. This is a favorite.
    Meredith

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I am also, Mere...thank you. He he does share some good ones...need to find time to go through my folder and post them. Some with the pictures have to be downloaded which takes quite a bit of time. :)

      Hugs and blessings...Cat

      Delete
  3. These made me LOL, Cuz!:) Thanks to you, and Jack for the morning smiles. Have a nice and relaxing Sunday. Feel good! Many hugs,

    <3 Katie

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    Replies
    1. Happy you enjoyed them, Cuz...fun to start the day with a few giggles isn't it. :)

      Hugs and blessings...Cat

      Delete

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