Adult Content Warning

You have entered a site intended for ADULTS ONLY. If you are under the age of 18, or if it is illegal to view such material in your community, please exit this site immediately. This site contains mature content including but not limited to; articles, discussions, pictures and other materials that some people may find offensive. If such materials offend you, please exit this site immediately.

Sunday, January 13, 2013

What Kids Taught Me...

You find out such interesting things when you have kids.

 

A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq. ft. house 4 inches deep.

If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they can ignite.

A 3-year old boy's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.

If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42 pound boy wearing Batman underwear and a Superman cape It is strong enough, however, if tied to a paint can, to spread paint on all four walls of a 20x20 ft. room.

You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on. When using a ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.

The glass in windows (even double-pane) doesn't stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan.

When you hear the toilet flush and the words "uh oh", it's already too late.

Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.

Certain Lego's will pass through the digestive tract of a 4- year old boy.

Play dough and microwave should not be used in the same sentence.

Super glue is forever.

No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool you still can't walk on water.

Pool filters do not like Jell-O.

VCR's do not eject "PB&J" sandwiches even though TV commercials show they do.

Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.

Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.

You probably DO NOT want to know what that odor is.

Always look in the oven before you turn it on; plastic toys do not like ovens.

The fire department in Austin, Texas has a 5-minute response time.

The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms dizzy.

It will, however, make cats dizzy.

Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.

80% of women who read this will Share this on their FB page, so all of their friends, with or without kids can read.

80% of men who read this will try the brake fluid and Clorox mix...(but, boys, it's toxic, so wear a mask).

ROFLMBO!

24 comments:

  1. Bahahahahahaha! Where do you find this stuff Cat!! I again look like an idiot laughing out loud while everyone around me just stares in confusion. Thanks!

    P

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. ROFL P - Just have a lot of friends who know my sense of humor and keep sending me these. ;) Happy you enjoyed it.

      Delete
  2. The thing H and I have to look forward to :P

    Callie

    ReplyDelete
  3. Hi Cat :)
    I must confess to learning a couple of these things with my children....I remember finding these little hard, curling things in the dryer and realizing with horror that they were earthworms. VCRs don't like cheese sandwiches any better than PBJ.....lol
    Ian and our two older kids made a potato gun that when you sprayed hairspray into it, and ignited it, shot a potato about 60 feet - I am not telling him about the clorox and the brake fluid. LOL
    hugs
    lillie

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. ROFL Lillie - would not like finding dried earthworms in the dryer. Sheesh, have played with potato guns but not with ignited hairspray! Oh please do not tell Ian about the cloros and brake fluid - really don't want your next post to be from the emergency room!

      Hugs and Blessings,
      Cat

      Delete
  4. very funny. Makes me glad I didn't have boys because a lot of this just sounds like stuff my grandsons would try. I feel sorry for my daughter.

    Do remember other things she tried though.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. LOL Sunny - you have those kinds of boys in the family also? Would love to hear what your daughter pulled. Post idea? ;)

      Delete
  5. Lol, I pity all earthworms and cats!

    Hugs
    Roz

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Definitely pity the cat Roz - and the mom who had to clean up the mess. Earthworms? nah not so much. ;)

      Hugs and Blessings,
      Cat

      Delete
  6. Have you been looking in my windows???? Sounds like a day at our house! The twins are 2.5 years older than our now 3 year old son...you can just about imagine the craziness that lives at our house! I sometimes answer the phone, "Lucy's Zoo...how may I help you?" if it is Ryan calling from work ;)

    I would not trade them though.....

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. LOL Lucy - oh I do remember those days. Lucy's Zoo? Good one!

      Delete
  7. I know #3 & #7 aaaaaaaaaaaaaaallllllllll toooooooooooooo well! And I'm sooooooo glad we have no ceiling fans.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. ROFL June. You can have ceiling fans once they are grown and out of the house. ;)

      Delete
  8. One time when my Mom was visiting #1 and # 2 were quiet..RED ALERT..anyway they were I think 6 and 4. We then heard #2 yell from the basement. " NOPE nothin' yet!" .And #1 answer with.." Okay I'll get more"

    My Mom ran downstairs, I ran up. # 1 was pouring water into the bathroom vent and # 2 was all the way in the basement waiting for it to pour out! Water leaked through the duct work for a good few hours after that. My Mom was in hysterics ! FYI I'm pretty sure she wouldn't have had that reaction if _I_ had done that at 6!
    Love
    Willie!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. ROFLMBO! Oh Willie - I wouldn't have been laughing if it was my kids but oh my stars, that's a good one. Very inventive!

      Love and Blessings,
      Cat

      Delete
    2. Yeah well apparently the Hot Wheels car wasn't successful at making it through the duct work, so they thought they'd try water.

      Delete
    3. Hex bugs crawl nicely through duct work. Gee, wonder why I know that! lol

      Delete
    4. At least the water was quieter than the Hot Wheels Willie. ;) Dang, very creative kids you've got there. LOL

      Delete
    5. ROFL Grace. Gee Grace, I don't know, your kids maybe? ;)

      Delete
  9. Sadly, I learned most of this from being a kid a long time ago... The rest I learned from my husband, kids and dog. Now the really sad part? I was just trying to figure out where Dragon keeps the Bake fluid.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ooh Rose, step away from the brake fluid - your bottom will thank you. And if you don't, Dragon - I told her not to! :D

      Delete
  10. Oh.my. I'm glad that even with two kids I haven't learned these firsthand! lol

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Wow Grace, lucky so far. You'd better knock on every piece of wood you can find! ;)

      Delete

Thanks for stopping by. Respectful comments are always welcome.