Courtesy of Viral Slot
ROFLMBO!!!!!! 
Tuesday, March 10, 2015
Monday, March 9, 2015
Sunday, March 8, 2015
I Rescued a Human Today
Her eyes met mine as she walked down the corridor peering apprehensively into the kennels. I felt her need instantly and knew I had to help her.
I wagged my tail, not too exuberantly, so she wouldn’t be afraid. As she stopped at my kennel I blocked her view from a little accident I had in the back of my cage. I didn’t want her to know that I hadn’t been walked today. Sometimes the overworked shelter keepers get too busy and I didn’t want her to think poorly of them.
As she read my kennel card I hoped that she wouldn’t feel sad about my past. I only have the future to look forward to and want to make a difference in someone’s life.
She got down on her knees and made little kissy sounds at me. I shoved my shoulder and side of my head up against the bars to comfort her. Gentle fingertips caressed my neck; she was desperate for companionship. A tear fell down her cheek and I raised my paw to assure her that all would be well.
Soon my kennel door opened and her smile was so bright that I instantly jumped into her arms.
I would promise to keep her safe.
I would promise to always be by her side.
I would promise to do everything I could to see that radiant smile and sparkle in her eyes.
I was so fortunate that she came down my corridor. So many more are out there who haven’t walked the corridors. So many more to be saved. At least I could save one.
I rescued a human today.
Written by Janine Allen CPDT, Rescue Me Dog's professional dog trainer. Janine's passion is working with people and their dogs. She provides demonstrations for those who have adopted shelter dogs, lends email support to adopted dog owners that need information beyond our Training Support Pages, and aids shelter staff and volunteers in understanding dog behavior to increase their adoptability. Copyright 2015 Rescue Me Dog; www.rescuemedog.org
So beautiful and touching…just had to share.
I wagged my tail, not too exuberantly, so she wouldn’t be afraid. As she stopped at my kennel I blocked her view from a little accident I had in the back of my cage. I didn’t want her to know that I hadn’t been walked today. Sometimes the overworked shelter keepers get too busy and I didn’t want her to think poorly of them.
As she read my kennel card I hoped that she wouldn’t feel sad about my past. I only have the future to look forward to and want to make a difference in someone’s life.
She got down on her knees and made little kissy sounds at me. I shoved my shoulder and side of my head up against the bars to comfort her. Gentle fingertips caressed my neck; she was desperate for companionship. A tear fell down her cheek and I raised my paw to assure her that all would be well.
Soon my kennel door opened and her smile was so bright that I instantly jumped into her arms.
I would promise to keep her safe.
I would promise to always be by her side.
I would promise to do everything I could to see that radiant smile and sparkle in her eyes.
I was so fortunate that she came down my corridor. So many more are out there who haven’t walked the corridors. So many more to be saved. At least I could save one.
I rescued a human today.
by Janine Allen
Courtesy of Rescue Me Dog
Written by Janine Allen CPDT, Rescue Me Dog's professional dog trainer. Janine's passion is working with people and their dogs. She provides demonstrations for those who have adopted shelter dogs, lends email support to adopted dog owners that need information beyond our Training Support Pages, and aids shelter staff and volunteers in understanding dog behavior to increase their adoptability. Copyright 2015 Rescue Me Dog; www.rescuemedog.org
So beautiful and touching…just had to share.
Saturday, March 7, 2015
time for questions
Since I'm late to the party, I'm sure you know that March is Q&A month in our little corner of blogland .
If you have a question, I have lots of answers…no guarantee that they will match your questions but you are welcome to try.
Feel free to ask them in the comments section below or send me an email.FYI…
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Couldn’t leave y’all without a cute little giggle…
Three little ducks go into a bar.
"Hello, what's your name?" the bartender asks the first duck.
"Huey," he replies.
"How's your day been, Huey?" the bartender asks.
"Great. Lovely day. Had a ball. Been in and out of puddles all day. What else could a duck want?" smiles Huey.
"That's nice," says the bartender, turning to the second duck. "Hi, and what's your name?"
"Dewey," comes the answer from duck number two.
"So how's your day been, Dewey?" asks the bartender.
"Great. I've had a ball, too. Been in and out of puddles all day, as well. What more could a duck want?"
The barman turns to the third duck and says: "So, you must be Louie?"
"No," she says, batting her eyelashes. "My name is Puddles."
Friday, March 6, 2015
Hearing Loss
Here’s another oldie but goodie…hope you enjoy!
Fred feared his wife Rhonda wasn't hearing as well as she used to and he thought she might need a hearing aid. Not quite sure how to approach her, he called the family Doctor to discuss the problem.
The Doctor told him there is a simple informal test the husband could perform to give the Doctor a better idea about her hearing loss.
"Here's what you do," said the Doctor. "Stand about 40 feet away from her, and in a normal conversational speaking tone see if she hears you. If not, go to 30 feet, then 20 feet, and so on until you get a response."
That evening, the wife is in the kitchen cooking dinner, and he was in the den. He says to himself, "I'm about 40 feet away, let's see what happens." Then in a normal tone he asks, "Honey, what's for dinner?"
No response.
So the husband moves closer to the kitchen, about 30 feet from his wife and repeats, "Rhonda, what's for dinner?" Still no response.
Next he moves into the dining room where he is about 20 feet from his wife and asks, "Honey, what's for dinner?"
Again he gets no response.
So, he walks up to the kitchen door, about 10 feet away. "Honey, what's for dinner?"
Again there is no response.
So he walks right up behind her. "Rhonda, what's for dinner?"
"For the FIFTH time Fred, CHICKEN!!"
So who has the hearing problem?!?
Thursday, March 5, 2015
Seminar
There was a group of women at a seminar on how to live in a loving relationship with your husband.
The women were asked, ‘How many of you love your husbands?’ All women raised their hands.
Then they were asked, ‘When was the last time you told your husband you loved him?’ Some women answered today, some yesterday, some didn’t remember.
The women were then told to take their phones and send the following text: 'I love you, sweetheart.'
Then the women were told to exchange phones and read the responding text messages. Here are some of the replies.
1. Who is this?
2. Eh, mother of my children, are you sick?
3. I love you too.
4. What now? Did you crash the car again?
5. I don’t understand what you mean?
6. What did you do now? I won’t forgive you this time.
7. ?!?
8. Don’t beat about the bush, just tell me how much you need?
9. Am I dreaming?
10. If you don’t tell me who this message is actually for, someone will die.
11. I asked you not to drink anymore. I’ll leave if you are tired of me.
The women were asked, ‘How many of you love your husbands?’ All women raised their hands.
Then they were asked, ‘When was the last time you told your husband you loved him?’ Some women answered today, some yesterday, some didn’t remember.
The women were then told to take their phones and send the following text: 'I love you, sweetheart.'
Then the women were told to exchange phones and read the responding text messages. Here are some of the replies.
1. Who is this?
2. Eh, mother of my children, are you sick?
3. I love you too.
4. What now? Did you crash the car again?
5. I don’t understand what you mean?
6. What did you do now? I won’t forgive you this time.
7. ?!?
8. Don’t beat about the bush, just tell me how much you need?
9. Am I dreaming?
10. If you don’t tell me who this message is actually for, someone will die.
11. I asked you not to drink anymore. I’ll leave if you are tired of me.
Wednesday, March 4, 2015
The History of 'APRONS'
I don't think our kids know what an apron is. The principle use of Grandma's apron was to protect the dress underneath because she only had a few.
It was also because it was easier to wash aprons than dresses and aprons used less material. But along with that, it served as a potholder for removing hot pans from the oven.
It was wonderful for drying children's tears, and on occasion was even used for cleaning out dirty ears.
From the chicken coop, the apron was used for carrying eggs, fussy chicks, and sometimes half-hatched eggs to be finished in the warming oven.
When company came, those aprons were ideal hiding places for shy kids..
And when the weather was cold, Grandma wrapped it around her arms.
Those big old aprons wiped many a perspiring brow, bent over the hot wood stove.
Chips and kindling wood were brought into the kitchen in that apron.
From the garden, it carried all sorts of vegetables. After the peas had been shelled, it carried out the hulls.
In the fall, the apron was used to bring in apples that had fallen from the trees.
When unexpected company drove up the road, it was surprising how much furniture that old apron could dust in a matter of seconds.
When dinner was ready, Grandma walked out onto the porch, waved her apron, and the men folk knew it was time to come in from the fields to dinner.
It will be a long time before someone invents something that will replace that 'old-time apron' that served so many purposes.
Send this to those who would know (and love) the story about Grandma's aprons.
REMEMBER:
Grandma used to set her hot baked apple pies on the window sill to cool. Her granddaughters set theirs on the window sill to thaw.
They would go crazy now trying to figure out how many germs were on that apron.
I don't think I ever caught anything from an apron - but love...
I remember my grandma tying an apron on my and pulling a chair over to the counter for me to stand on so I could help cook. Sweet memories.
It was also because it was easier to wash aprons than dresses and aprons used less material. But along with that, it served as a potholder for removing hot pans from the oven.
It was wonderful for drying children's tears, and on occasion was even used for cleaning out dirty ears.
From the chicken coop, the apron was used for carrying eggs, fussy chicks, and sometimes half-hatched eggs to be finished in the warming oven.
When company came, those aprons were ideal hiding places for shy kids..
And when the weather was cold, Grandma wrapped it around her arms.
Those big old aprons wiped many a perspiring brow, bent over the hot wood stove.
Chips and kindling wood were brought into the kitchen in that apron.
From the garden, it carried all sorts of vegetables. After the peas had been shelled, it carried out the hulls.
In the fall, the apron was used to bring in apples that had fallen from the trees.
When unexpected company drove up the road, it was surprising how much furniture that old apron could dust in a matter of seconds.
When dinner was ready, Grandma walked out onto the porch, waved her apron, and the men folk knew it was time to come in from the fields to dinner.
It will be a long time before someone invents something that will replace that 'old-time apron' that served so many purposes.
Send this to those who would know (and love) the story about Grandma's aprons.
REMEMBER:
Grandma used to set her hot baked apple pies on the window sill to cool. Her granddaughters set theirs on the window sill to thaw.
They would go crazy now trying to figure out how many germs were on that apron.
I don't think I ever caught anything from an apron - but love...
Courtesy of Useful Tips
I remember my grandma tying an apron on my and pulling a chair over to the counter for me to stand on so I could help cook. Sweet memories.
Tuesday, March 3, 2015
Old Farmer Bob
Mark, The banker, saw his long time client and friend Bob, an eighty-year old rancher, in town.
Bob had lost his wife a year or so before and rumor had it that he was marrying a 'mail order' bride. Being a good friend, the banker asked Bob if the rumor was true. Bob assured him that it was.
The banker then asked Bob the age of his new bride to be.
Bob proudly said, 'She'll be twenty-one in November.'
Now the banker, being the wise man that he was, could see that the sexual appetite of a young woman could not be satisfied by an eighty-year- old man.
Wanting his old friend's remaining years to be happy the banker tactfully suggested that Bob should consider getting a hired hand to help him out on the ranch, knowing nature would take its own course. Bob thought this was a good idea and said he would look for one that afternoon.
About four months later, the banker ran into Bob in town again. 'How's the new wife?', asked the banker.
Bob proudly said, 'Good - she's pregnant.'
The banker, happy that his sage advice had worked out, continued, 'And how's the hired hand?'
Bob said, 'She's pregnant too.'
Never underestimate old guys.
Bob had lost his wife a year or so before and rumor had it that he was marrying a 'mail order' bride. Being a good friend, the banker asked Bob if the rumor was true. Bob assured him that it was.
The banker then asked Bob the age of his new bride to be.
Bob proudly said, 'She'll be twenty-one in November.'
Now the banker, being the wise man that he was, could see that the sexual appetite of a young woman could not be satisfied by an eighty-year- old man.
Wanting his old friend's remaining years to be happy the banker tactfully suggested that Bob should consider getting a hired hand to help him out on the ranch, knowing nature would take its own course. Bob thought this was a good idea and said he would look for one that afternoon.
About four months later, the banker ran into Bob in town again. 'How's the new wife?', asked the banker.
Bob proudly said, 'Good - she's pregnant.'
The banker, happy that his sage advice had worked out, continued, 'And how's the hired hand?'
Bob said, 'She's pregnant too.'
Never underestimate old guys.
Monday, March 2, 2015
Homework
![blackboard4_1[1]](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgPdzWcF65hlQ-NkuM3NZ6OlWDyE_4ev4XoDMZCSs6IIbNAGS8zZy4joxseASeAkVHOzIpYWYIJxt_ntox4rvFlhu0cMCp4WUXgLFR2mS-TNeHIPji2wpBD6jbhj2PX_Qrq44KpT6-hyEI/s1600-h/blackboard4_1%25255B1%25255D%25255B3%25255D.jpg "blackboard4_1[1]")
A kindergarten class had a homework assignment to find out about something exciting and relate it to the class the next day.
When the time came to present what they'd found, the first little boy walked up to the front of the class made a small white dot on the blackboard and sat back down. Puzzled, the teacher asked him just what it was.
"It's a period,'' said the little boy.
"Well, I can see that,'' she said, ''but what is so exciting about a period?''
''Damned if I know,'' said the little boy, ''but this morning my sister was missing one, Daddy had a heart attack, Mommy fainted, and the man next door shot himself."
Oops!
Sunday, March 1, 2015
Update from Queenie
Hi Everyone,
I'm doing better now. I have some bad days/hours, but overall, things are going pretty well.
I still can't seem to GAIN any weight, but I have not lost any more since I started eating cottage cheese blended with flax oil and ground flax seeds. It's called the Budwig Diet. Dr. Johanna Budwig, who was a German biochemist, came up with the idea after years of research into essential fatty acids. Her research and theories about cancer are really very interesting and she had a lot of success with terminal cancer patients. Patients who conventional medicine had given up on after all the surgeries and chemo/radiation. (Just for clarification, I have not had any of those three things. I refused all three, with very good reason. I am 100% alternative.)
Anyway, calling it the Budwig Diet is a little misleading though as you do eat normally, but very healthfully, in addition to the flax/cottage cheese mixture.
There is a long list of foods I can't have anymore, at least for now, but there are still a lot of good things to eat too. I also have a very high quality nutritional powder called Cellect that I mix up into a smoothie twice a day.
I even do the dreaded coffee enemas. I never thought I would be doing such a weird thing- until I understood the reasons for doing so. They are vital. Still, not much fun either!!
I still juice carrots/beets/green apples/ginger root and have some everyday. I finally figured out that freezing individual servings to last several days cut down on the big chore of tearing down and washing that big juicer every single day! I eat bitter apricot kernels everyday. Google it if you're curious.
It's all a lot of work sometimes, and I do get tired and wish I could just stop or slack off. Like it's all just some New Year's resolution that I can forget about when I don't want to do it anymore.
But, then, I think about how much I want to be here. To have more time with my husband and to see my grandkids graduate someday. I know that I would be fine in the 'hereafter', but I'm not ready to leave my family/friends just yet.
So, it doesn't matter how tired I get, I will keep getting my behind up and out of bed and I will continue to do all those things that can heal me of this blasted cancer.
I again want to thank every single person who has kept me in their thoughts and prayers and well wishes. Whether you left a comment or not. Thank you!
Please keep those prayers/thoughts coming my way. Those are the best medicine of all!!
Love,
Queenie
I'm doing better now. I have some bad days/hours, but overall, things are going pretty well.
I still can't seem to GAIN any weight, but I have not lost any more since I started eating cottage cheese blended with flax oil and ground flax seeds. It's called the Budwig Diet. Dr. Johanna Budwig, who was a German biochemist, came up with the idea after years of research into essential fatty acids. Her research and theories about cancer are really very interesting and she had a lot of success with terminal cancer patients. Patients who conventional medicine had given up on after all the surgeries and chemo/radiation. (Just for clarification, I have not had any of those three things. I refused all three, with very good reason. I am 100% alternative.)
Anyway, calling it the Budwig Diet is a little misleading though as you do eat normally, but very healthfully, in addition to the flax/cottage cheese mixture.
There is a long list of foods I can't have anymore, at least for now, but there are still a lot of good things to eat too. I also have a very high quality nutritional powder called Cellect that I mix up into a smoothie twice a day.
I even do the dreaded coffee enemas. I never thought I would be doing such a weird thing- until I understood the reasons for doing so. They are vital. Still, not much fun either!!
I still juice carrots/beets/green apples/ginger root and have some everyday. I finally figured out that freezing individual servings to last several days cut down on the big chore of tearing down and washing that big juicer every single day! I eat bitter apricot kernels everyday. Google it if you're curious.
It's all a lot of work sometimes, and I do get tired and wish I could just stop or slack off. Like it's all just some New Year's resolution that I can forget about when I don't want to do it anymore.
But, then, I think about how much I want to be here. To have more time with my husband and to see my grandkids graduate someday. I know that I would be fine in the 'hereafter', but I'm not ready to leave my family/friends just yet.
So, it doesn't matter how tired I get, I will keep getting my behind up and out of bed and I will continue to do all those things that can heal me of this blasted cancer.
I again want to thank every single person who has kept me in their thoughts and prayers and well wishes. Whether you left a comment or not. Thank you!
Please keep those prayers/thoughts coming my way. Those are the best medicine of all!!
Love,
Queenie
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)