Mother Nature gets a bit Naughty

Hope you enjoy!   

Fired

How do you manage to get fired the first day in a Winnie the Poo costume?


Scroll on down…

Ready?

Are you sure?

Here goes…




By putting your costume pants on backwards!

Oops!   

Strawberry Avocado Salad

This is a quick and easy summer salad that can be used as a side or as a meal.

Ingredients
Salad

• 1 Avocado, cubed
• 1 cup fresh strawberries
• 1/4 cup red onions, thinly sliced
• 1/4 cup walnut pieces
• baby spinach

Dressing

• 1/8 cup olive oil, extra virgin
• 1/8 cup balsamic vinegar
• 1 tablespoon honey
• salt and pepper to taste

Instructions
1. Place oil, vinegar, honey, salt and pepper in a small jar and shake well. 
2. Mix the spinach, avocados, strawberries, onions and walnuts in a large bowl.
3. Add the oil and vinegar mixture and toss lightly.

Notes:

• You could whisk the dressing ingredients in a bowl if you don’t have a jar.
• Instead of spinach, you could use any combination of leafy greens.
• You could substitute pecans for the walnuts
• I have added grilled chicken slices in order to make this a meal in itself.

If you have any questions, please feel free to ask and if you try the recipe, as always, I would love any feedback you would care to give.

Reply to Liebster Award

Cygnet over at the Ugly Duckling Project nominated me for a Liebster Award quite a while back.  I forgot all about it until recently.  I am so sorry Cygnet. 

Here are the rules:
1. Thank the person who nominated you and post a link to their blog on your blog.
Ummm…thank you?  Cygnet…I still love ya    Seriously, it was very sweet of you to think of me...I feel honored…thank you.
2. Display the award on your blog by including it in your post and / or displaying it using a "widget" or "gadget".  
done
3. Answer 11 questions about yourself which will be provided to you by the person who nominated you.

I’ll put up the questions…no guarantees as to which I’ll answer .
4. Provide 11 random facts about yourself.

People…seriously…I am just not that interesting
5. Nominate 5 to 11 blogs you feel deserve this award, who have less than 1000 followers. (Note that you can ask the blog owner this since not all blogs display the widget that lets readers know this information. 
Now…anyone that knows me, knows that I’m not big on following rules so you shouldn’t be surprised that this is not gonna happen.
6. Create a new list of questions for the blogger to answer. 
You asked for it!
7. List these rules on your post.  Once you have written and published it, you then have to:  
Have to?  Really?  Ha! 
8. Inform people/blogs that you nominated that they have been nominated for the Liebster Award and provide a link for them to your post so they can learn about it (they might not have heard of it!)  
You are hereby informed that if you want to play along, answer any questions you want…either in the comments below or on your own blog!

Here are Cygnet’s questions:
1.  If you could have any job in the world (forget talent or money making ability) what would you do? 

I would create artwork…paintings, jewelry, etc.!
2.  What is your favorite book of all time?

No way can I narrow it down to one book or even one genre!
3.  What is the one thing that you and your husband just can't seem to agree on and how do you deal with it?
4.  What is the thing you like most about yourself?

 The fact that I like me.
5.  What superpower would you like to have?

 Invisibility...would love to sneak up on people and scare them .
6.  What luxury in life do you indulge in? 

Not sure what luxury would be…my chocolate pomegranate candy or maybe a long soak in the tub with scented candles and music.
7.  Who is your celebrity crush? 

Ooh…can’t limit it to one.
 
 
 
 
 
Eleven random facts about me...
 























































A certain age?  Ha…I would do this at any age if I was unable to walk.  BTW…notice the crop?   











































If any of you want to play along, you can take any to all of the following questions and answer them…either on your own blog, in the comments here or send them to me in an email and I will post them here as a guest blog.

Here are your questions:

1.  What celebrity do you resemble?
2.  What is one thing you swore you would never do....and did?
3.  How tall are you?
4.  What color underwear do you have on right now?
5.  If you could go back in time, where would you go?
6.  What's the funniest thing you've heard your spouse/partner say?
7.  What animal would you be and why?
8.  Leather or wood?
9.  If you could live anywhere in the world, where would it be?
10. Could you turn your phone off for 24 hours without a panic attack?
11. Scariest sound?

Hope you enjoyed.  

Wedding

A Priceless Wedding Invitation From the Mother of the Groom…

 

 

 

P.S. We have no idea WHAT he sees in her!  

Pet Parrot

A guy is browsing in a pet shop and sees a parrot sitting on a little perch.  It doesn't have any feet or legs.  The guy says aloud, "Jeesh, I wonder what happened to this parrot?"


The parrot says, "I was born this way.  I'm a defective parrot."

"Holy crap," the guy replies.  "You actually understood and answered me!"

"I got every word," says the parrot.  "I happen to be a highly intelligent, thoroughly educated bird."

"Oh yeah?" the guy asks, "Then answer this -- how do you hang onto your perch without any feet?"

"Well," the parrot says, "this is very embarrassing but since you asked, I wrap my weenie around this wooden bar like a little hook.  You can't see it because of my feathers."

"Wow," says the guy.  "You really can understand and speak English can't you?"

"Actually, I speak both Spanish and English, and I can converse with reasonable competence on almost any topic: politics, religion, sports, physics, philosophy.  I'm especially good at ornithology.  You really ought to buy me.  I'd be a great companion."

The guy looks at the $200 price tag.  "Sorry, but I just can't afford that."

"Pssssssst," says the parrot, "I'm defective, so the truth is, nobody wants me cause I don't have any feet.  You can probably get me for $20, just make the guy an offer!"

The guy offers $20 and walks out with the parrot. 


Weeks go by. 

The parrot is sensational.  He has a great sense of humor, he's interesting, he's a great pal, he understands everything, he sympathizes, and he's insightful. 

The guy is delighted. 


One day the guy comes home from work and the parrot goes, "psssssssssssst," and motions him over with one wing.

"I don't know if I should tell you this or not, but it's about your wife and the postman."

"What are you talking about?" asks the guy.

"When the postman delivered the mail today, your wife greeted him at the door in a sheer black nightie and kissed him passionately."

"WHAT???" the guy asks incredulously. "THEN what happened?"

"Well, then the postman came into the house and lifted up her nightie and began petting her all over," reported the parrot.

"Oh No!," he exclaims. "Then what?"

"Then he lifted up the nightie, got down on his knees and began to kiss her all over, starting with her breasts and slowly going down..."

"WELL," demands the frantic guy, "THEN WHAT HAPPENED?"

"Damned if I know.  I got a hard-on and fell off my perch!"

 

Courtesy of Facts Book

ROFLMBO!

Time to Shave

Our darlin’ Cali Mom from His Rib, Her Rock sent the following to me and I had to pass the giggles on to all of you.
 

“My daughter found this on Pinterest - and it is TOO FUNNY!!  I'm barely keeping it in right now!”

Courtesy of The Meta Picture

 

I laughed my butt off when Cali sent this and I keep laughing every time I see it!

 

Hopefully no parent is careless enough to give a razor to a child to “shave” the baby so who exactly is this baby for?  Who is going to shave it?  Oh good gravy…where are you going to start shaving?

 

ROFLMBO!

Marriage

The tradition at weddings

A little boy, at a wedding looks at his mom and says, "Mommy, why does the girl wear white?"

His mom replies, "The bride is in white because she's happy and this is the happiest day of her life."

The boy thinks about this, and then says, "Well then, why is the boy wearing black?"

An organization that makes men fear marriage

The British had an organization that Americans are now considering adopting.

It seems that in England, they had a men's club, Bachelors' Anonymous.  It was highly successful in making men fear or even hate marriage.

The club provided a unique way to treat the problem of bachelors wanting to marry.  They send over a mother-in-law in nightgown, hair curlers, and a mud pack.

Like Father, Like Husband?

If it's true that girls are inclined to marry men like their fathers, it is understandable why so many mothers cry so much at weddings.

 

A sudden change of mind

My Dearest Susan,

Sweetie of my heart.  I've been so desolate ever since I broke off our engagement.  Simply devastated.  Won't you please consider coming back to me?  You hold a place in my heart no other woman can fill.  I can never marry another woman quite like you.  I need you so much.  Won't you forgive me and let us make a new beginning?  I love you so.

Yours always and truly,

John

P.S. Congratulations on you winning the state lottery.  

Kids at the Wedding

At a friend's wedding, everything went smoothly until it was time for the flower girl and her young escort to come down the aisle.

The boy stopped at every pew, growling at the guests.  When asked afterward why he behaved so badly, he explained, "I was just trying to be a good ring bear."

A man is almost about to die

As he lay on his deathbed, the man confided to his wife, "I cannot die without telling you the truth.  I cheated on you throughout our whole marriage.  All those nights when I told you I was working late, I was with other women.  And not just one woman either, but I've slept with dozens of them."

His wife looked at him calmly and said, "Why do you think I gave you the poison?"

May I borrow your dog for a few days?

It's for my mother-in-law," explained the mourner at the funeral procession.  Tightening the leash, he gestured down at the dog and said, "My Doberman here killed her."

"Gee...That's terrible," commiserated the spectator.  "But... Hmmmm... Is there anyway you might lend me your dog for a day or so?"

The bereaved son-in-law pointed his thumb over his shoulder and answered, "Get in line."

I have "great" news for you

The newlywed wife said to her husband when he returned from work, "I have great news for you.  Pretty soon, we're going to be three in this house instead of two."

Her husband ran to her with a smile on his face and delight in his eyes.

He was glowing of happiness and kissing his wife when she said, "I'm glad that you feel this way since tomorrow morning, my mother moves in with us."

courtesy of  ilyke.net

True Friendship

1.     When you are sad...I will get you drunk and will help you plot revenge against the sorry bastard who made you sad.

2.  When you are blue...I'll try to dislodge whatever is choking you.

3.  When you smile...I'll know you finally got laid.

4. When you are scared...I will rag you about it every chance I get.

5.  When you are worried...I will tell you horrible stories about how much worse it could be and to quit whining.

6. When you are confused...I will use little words to explain.

7.  When you are sick...stay away from me until you're well again.  I don't want whatever you have.

8. When you fall...I will point and laugh at your clumsy ass.  Then I’ll help you up.

Positive Thoughts

For those of you who are now or soon will be going through a rough time with friends and or family…some thoughts to help you through.

And just breath…

Amen and Hallelujah

This burns for any who need your flame rekindled.

 
Sending prayers, healing energy and positive thoughts for all.