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Tuesday, June 3, 2014

Marriage


The tradition at weddings
A little boy, at a wedding looks at his mom and says, "Mommy, why does the girl wear white?"

His mom replies, "The bride is in white because she's happy and this is the happiest day of her life."

The boy thinks about this, and then says, "Well then, why is the boy wearing black?"



An organization that makes men fear marriage
The British had an organization that Americans are now considering adopting.

It seems that in England, they had a men's club, Bachelors' Anonymous.  It was highly successful in making men fear or even hate marriage.

The club provided a unique way to treat the problem of bachelors wanting to marry.  They send over a mother-in-law in nightgown, hair curlers, and a mud pack.



Like Father, Like Husband?
If it's true that girls are inclined to marry men like their fathers, it is understandable why so many mothers cry so much at weddings.
 

A sudden change of mind
My Dearest Susan,
Sweetie of my heart.  I've been so desolate ever since I broke off our engagement.  Simply devastated.  Won't you please consider coming back to me?  You hold a place in my heart no other woman can fill.  I can never marry another woman quite like you.  I need you so much.  Won't you forgive me and let us make a new beginning?  I love you so.

Yours always and truly,
John

P.S. Congratulations on you winning the state lottery.  




Kids at the Wedding
At a friend's wedding, everything went smoothly until it was time for the flower girl and her young escort to come down the aisle.

The boy stopped at every pew, growling at the guests.  When asked afterward why he behaved so badly, he explained, "I was just trying to be a good ring bear."



A man is almost about to die
As he lay on his deathbed, the man confided to his wife, "I cannot die without telling you the truth.  I cheated on you throughout our whole marriage.  All those nights when I told you I was working late, I was with other women.  And not just one woman either, but I've slept with dozens of them."

His wife looked at him calmly and said, "Why do you think I gave you the poison?"



May I borrow your dog for a few days?
It's for my mother-in-law," explained the mourner at the funeral procession.  Tightening the leash, he gestured down at the dog and said, "My Doberman here killed her."

"Gee...That's terrible," commiserated the spectator.  "But... Hmmmm... Is there anyway you might lend me your dog for a day or so?"

The bereaved son-in-law pointed his thumb over his shoulder and answered, "Get in line."


I have "great" news for you
The newlywed wife said to her husband when he returned from work, "I have great news for you.  Pretty soon, we're going to be three in this house instead of two."

Her husband ran to her with a smile on his face and delight in his eyes.

He was glowing of happiness and kissing his wife when she said, "I'm glad that you feel this way since tomorrow morning, my mother moves in with us."

courtesy of  ilyke.net

12 comments:

  1. LOL Cat They are all funny but I think my favorite is the "ring bear" growling down the aisle! Thanks so much, Lisa

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    1. Happy you enjoyed them Lisa...that was one of my favorites also. ;)

      Blessings...
      Cat

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  2. LoL Cat, some of these are terrible yet so good lol. Love thr ring bear too ... cute. Pity the poor husband in the last one! LoL

    Hugs
    Roz

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    1. LOL Roz...that poor husband was so excited thinking he was going to be a daddy. Got a feeling that if they had been DD, someone would have been meeting her mother with a very sore bottom. ;)

      Hugs and Blessings...
      Cat

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  3. I love the "A man is almost about to die" best. Pity mothers-in-law get such bad press. My MIL is a lovely lady - she even used to do my ironing!

    Hugs
    Ami

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    1. LOL Ami...so you like the idea of poisoning the cheater eh? *snicker* Some MILs are lovely and others just pure D suck...you were very lucky. ;)

      Hugs and Blessings...
      Cat

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  4. Replies
    1. I do also Rose...the picture of the little boy growling down the aisle really tickled me. ;)

      Hugs and Blessings...
      Cat

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  5. Are you trying to break up engagements? Your quips are so funny. I don't know which one I liked best. <3

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    1. LOL Blondie...no not really trying to break up engagements or marriages for that matter. ;) Happy you enjoyed these. ;)

      Hugs and Blessings...
      Cat

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  6. Ha! I love the "ring bear" one. I can just picture that. Too funny! lol

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    1. I do also Grace...as I told Rose, I can just picture the little 'bear' growling down the aisle...that would be a really sweet memory for the couple wouldn't it. ;)

      Hugs and Blessings...
      Cat

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