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Sunday, June 29, 2014

I Am Not a Scholar!

The following is another excerpt from the book called Disorder in the American Courts. 
 
Gavel and Law Books


Question: Please repeat after me: "I swear by Almighty God..."

Answer: "I swear by Almighty God."


Question: "That the evidence that I give..."

Answer: That's right.


Question: Repeat it.

Answer: "Repeat it".


Question: No! Repeat what I said.

Answer: What you said when?


Question: "That the evidence that I give..."

Answer: "That the evidence that I give."


Question: "Shall be the truth and..."

Answer: It will, and nothing but the truth!


Question: Please, just repeat after me: "Shall be the truth and..."

Answer: I'm not a scholar, you know.


Question: We can appreciate that. Just repeat after me: "Shall be the truth and..."

Answer: "Shall be the truth and."


Question: Say: "Nothing...".

Answer: Okay. (Witness remains silent.)


Question: No! Don't say nothing. Say: "Nothing but the truth..."

Answer: Yes.


Question: Can't you say: "Nothing but the truth..."?

Answer: Yes.


Question: Well? Do so.

Answer: You're confusing me.


Question: Just say: "Nothing but the truth...".

Answer: Okay. I understand.


Question: Then say it.

Answer: What?


Question: "Nothing but the truth..."

Answer: But I do! That's just it.


Question: You must say: "Nothing but the truth..."

Answer: I WILL say nothing but the truth!


Question: Please, just repeat these four words: "Nothing", "But", "The", "Truth".

Answer: What? You mean, like, now?


Question: Yes! Now. Please. Just say those four words.

Answer: "Nothing. But. The. Truth."


Question: Thank you.

Answer: I'm just not a scholar.



8 comments:

  1. LoL Cat, too funny. Definitely not a scholar!

    Hugs
    Roz

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Got that right Roz! ;)

      Hugs and blessings...
      Cat

      Delete
  2. I think the fact that he was not a scholar was established pretty early on. OMG, I know you shouldn't laugh at other people's foibles, but this is funny,

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. LOL Sunny...definitely no scholar...happy you enjoyed it. ;)

      Hugs and blessings...
      Cat

      Delete
  3. That is funny. Thanks for the smile.

    I'm sure I left a comment here earlier.

    Love,
    Ronnie
    xx

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Happy you enjoyed it Ronnie...I have had blogger eat my comments on this and other blogs so wouldn't be surprised if it ate yours. ;)

      Hugs and blessings...
      Cat

      Delete
  4. Sure brought a smile to my face..thanks.
    hugs abby

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You're welcome Abby...so happy to bring smiles. ;)

      Hugs and blessings...
      Cat

      Delete

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