Exercise for Pregnant Women

Another very good one from our Meredith's Jack.

The room was full of pregnant women with their husbands.
 
The instructor said, "Ladies, remember that exercise is good for you. Walking is especially beneficial - strengthens the pelvic muscles and will make delivery that much easier. Just pace yourself, make plenty of stops and try to stay on a soft surfaces, like a grass path."

"Gentlemen, remember -- you're in this together. It wouldn't hurt you to go walking with her. In fact, that shared experience would be good for you both."

 
The room suddenly became very quiet as the men absorbed this information. After a few moments a man, name unknown, at the back of the room, slowly raised his hand.
 
"Yes?" said the Instructor.
 
"I was just wondering if it would be all right, if she carries a golf bag?"
 

Brings a tear to your eye, doesn't it?

(THIS LEVEL OF SENSITIVITY CAN'T BE TAUGHT)

New Teacher

Another goody from our Meredith's Jack.  


After retiring from the Marine Corps, a former Drill Instructor Sergeant took a job as a high school teacher.


Just before the school year started, he injured his back. He was required to wear a light plaster cast around the upper part of his body. Fortunately, the cast fit snugly under his shirt and wasn't noticeable when he wore his suit jacket.



On the first day of class, he found himself assigned to the toughest students in the school. The smart-aleck punks, having already heard the new teacher was a former Marine, were leery of him and he knew they would be testing his discipline in the classroom.



Walking confidently into the rowdy classroom, the new teacher opened the window wide and sat down at his desk, he looked around the room and made eye contact with each and every student.


A strong breeze through the window made his tie flap. He picked up a stapler and stapled the tie to his chest.



Dead Silence.



The rest of the school year went very smooth…

I Will Always Remember

I share the following every year as a reminder…we must never forget!  Never fails to brings tears to my eyes every time I read it. 
 
This year it is even more heartbreaking for me as I was on the phone with my brother and we were both watching when the plane went into the second tower…I will never forget that moment.

---

You say you will never forget where you were when you heard the news on September 11, 2001.

Neither will I.

I was on the 110th floor in a smoke filled room with a man who called his wife to say "Good-bye." I held his fingers steady as he dialed. I gave him the peace to say, "Honey, I am not going to make it, but it is OK...I am ready to go."

I was with his wife when he called as she fed breakfast to their children.  I held her up as she tried to understand his words and as she realized he wasn't coming home that night.

I was in the stairwell of the 23rd floor when a woman cried out to Me for help.  "I have been knocking on the door of your heart for 50 years!" I said.  "Of course I will show you the way home -- only believe on Me now."

I was at the base of the building with the Priest ministering to the injured and devastated souls. I took him home to tend to his Flock in Heaven. He heard my voice and answered.

I was on all four of those planes, in every seat, with every prayer.  I was with the crew as they were overtaken.  I was in the very hearts of the believers there, comforting and assuring them that their faith has saved them.

I was in Texas, Kansas, London.  I was standing next to you when you heard the terrible news.  Did you sense Me?

I want you to know that I saw every face.  I knew every name -- though not all know Me.

Some met Me for the first time on the 86th floor.

Some sought Me with their last breath.

Some couldn't hear Me calling to them through the smoke and flames; “Come to Me... This way... take My hand."

Some chose, for the final time, to ignore Me.

But, I was there.

I did not place you in the Tower that day.  You may not know why, but I do.

However, if you were there in that explosive moment in time, would you have reached for Me?

September 11, 2001, was not the end of the journey for you.  But someday your journey will end and I will be there for you as well.

Seek Me now while I may be found.

Then, at any moment, you know you are "ready to go."

I will be in the stairwell of your final moments.

God

During the next 60 seconds, please stop whatever you are doing, and take this opportunity (really, just 1 minute) to say an "Our Father" for the families of all those who lost their lives and the responders who risked their lives due to the events of September 11, 2001:

Our Father who art in Heaven,
Hallowed be Thy Name,
Thy Kingdom come,
Thy will be done,
On Earth as it is in Heaven.
Give us this day
Our daily bread and forgive us our trespasses,
As we forgive those who trespass against us.
And lead us not into temptation but deliver us from evil.
For Thine is the kingdom, the power and the glory, forever and ever. Amen.

Please don't forget to give thanks for your family and friends!

This picture is comprised of the photos of all those who were lost.

This is especially poignant for me and sever others this year...

Magic

Genius Sex Moves

9 Genius Sex Moves to Try on Your Man This Fall
 He'll be falling all over himself, literally.
 
1. The "Sweater Weather."
Surprise your man by wearing a super-soft fuzzy fall sweater...AND NOTHING ELSE. You'll be soooo touchable.
 
2. The "Extra Spicy Pumpkin Latte."
Warm your mouth with some pumpkin-flavored coffee before going south *wink wink*. To add even more spice, let a little dribble out of the corners of your mouth first; the visual of dripping liquid is VERY sexy.
 
3. The "Boot Knocker."
Blindfold your man and then gently slide his dick in and out of your favorite boots. The rough and soft textures will be crazy hot and sexual.
 
4. The "Sweet Potato Smash."
Smash up some sweet potatoes and leave them on the kitchen table with a note that reads "Enjoy!" He'll know what to do with them.
 
5. The "Thanks-for-giving."
Give your man a special Thanksgiving treat with this classic move: During sex, suddenly yell, "I'M A DEAD FALL TREE," then stay very still for the remainder, letting him do all the work. Afterward, simply whisper, "Thanks...for giving."
 
6. The "Halloween Surprise."
Put on your fave halloween mask and surprise your man with a morning blow job! So easy and effective.
 
7. The "Leaf Pile."
Rake up some dirty leaves from your yard and pile them onto his bed. Hide in it nakie until he's nearby, then jump out and yell, "I'M FALLING FOR YOU!" He'll be so turned on he might faint. Extra points if you bring some squirrels in with you.
 
8. The "Candied Apple."
Using your favorite candy apple recipe, heat up some burning hot caramel on the stove. Act like you're about to pour it on his butt, then quickly pull out some apples and say, "JK JK JK JK." But then pour it on his butt.
 
9. The "Sexy Foliage."
Go hide in the woods for the next few months, only communicating by leaving him ominous voicemails of forest animals chattering. Eventually lose contact with him and everything you knew before. Become a forest enchantress. This is your life now. Fuck society.
 
*This article is for entertainment purposes only. Please don't pour burning caramel on your loved ones. 😹
 

Courtesy of BuzzFeed

Flat Tire

II shared something similar several years ago but this was so good, I had to share it again.   Another goody from our Meredith's Jack.  

FOR ALL THE LADIES I KNOW THAT DRIVE ALONE!

I had a flat tire on the 401 yesterday; so, I pulled over, got out of the car and opened my trunk. I took out my cardboard men, unfolded them and stood them at the rear of my car facing oncoming traffic. They look so lifelike you wouldn't believe it!

Just as I had hoped, cars started slowing down looking at the men which made it much safer for me to work on the side of the road.

 
People honked and waved, and it wasn't long before a police car pulled up behind me.

He wanted to know what the heck I was doing so I calmly explained that I was changing my flat.
 

He told me he could see that, but demanded to know what the heck my cardboard men were doing standing at the rear of my car.

I couldn't believe he didn't know!
 

“Well,:” I explained to the angry Policeman…
“They're my Emergency Flashers!!!”
 

He laughed, I laughed, we laughed, He laughed!!!
 

Nice view isn’t it.  

I go to court in AUGUST.

(Damn Police. No sense of humor.)

States

I have an inbox full of goodies from our Meredith's Jack so you will be seeing a lot more from him.   BTW...I didn't fact check any of this so if it's wrong...just enjoy it for the giggle.

---

This is really interesting and quite surprising at times…
 
STATES AND WHAT THEY ARE FAMOUS FOR (DID YOU EVER IMAGINE?) 
 
ALABAMA...Was the first state to have 9-1-1, started 1968.
ALASKA...One out of every 64 people has a pilot's license.
ARIZONA...Is the only state in the continental U.S. that does not follow Daylight Savings Time.
ARKANSAS...Has the only active diamond mine in the U.S.
CALIFORNIA...Its economy is so large that if it were a country, it would rank seventh in the entire world.
COLORADO...In 1976 it became the only state to turn down the Olympics.
CONNECTICUT...The Frisbee was invented here at Yale University
DELAWARE...Has more scientists and engineers than any other state.
FLORIDA...At 874.3 square miles, Jacksonville is the largest city in the U.S.
GEORGIA...It was here, in 1886, that pharmacist John Pemberton made the first vat of Coca-Cola....interesting!
HAWAII...Hawaiians live, on average, five years longer than residents of any other state.
IDAHO...TV was invented in Rigby, Idaho, in 1922.
ILLINOIS...Has a Governor in jail, one pending jail, and is the most corrupt state in the union!
INDIANA...Home to Santa Claus, Indiana, which gets a half million letters for Santa every year.
IOWA...Winnebago R.V.s get their name from Winnebago County. Also, it is the only state name that begins with 2 vowels.
KANSAS...Liberal, Kansas has an exact replica of the house in "The Wizard of Oz".
KENTUCKY...Has more than $6 billion in gold underneath Fort Knox.
LOUISIANA...Has parishes instead of counties because they were originally Spanish church units.
MAINE...It is so large that it covers as many square miles as the other five New England states combined.
MARYLAND...The Ouija board was created in Baltimore in 1892… Bet you didn't know that!
MASSACHUSETTS…The Fig Newton is named after Newton, Massachusetts.
MICHIGAN...Fremont, home to Gerber, is the baby food capital of the world.
MINNESOTA…Bloomington's Mall of America is so big, that if you spent 10 minutes in each store, you'd be there almost four days.
MISSISSIPPI…President Teddy Roosevelt refused to shoot a bear here. The most lied about state in the nation.
MISSOURI...Is the birthplace of the ice cream cone.
MONTANA…A sapphire from Montana is in the Crown Jewels of England .
NEBRASKA...More triplets are born here than in any other state.
NEW HAMPSHIRE...Birthplace of Tupperware, invented in 1938 by Earl Tupper.
NEW JERSEY...Has the most shopping malls in one area in the world.
NEW MEXICO...Smokey the Bear was rescued from a 1950 forest fire here.
NEW YORK...Is home to the nation's oldest cattle ranch, started in 1747 in Montauk...Surprised?
NORTH CAROLINA…Home of the first Krispy Kreme doughnut.
NORTH DAKOTA... Rigby, North Dakota, is the exact geographic center of North America .
OHIO...The hot dog was invented here in 1900.
OKLAHOMA...The grounds of the state capital are covered by operating oil wells.
OREGON...Has the most ghost towns in the country.
PENNSYLVANIA...The smiley : ) was first used in 1980 by computer scientists at Carnegie Mellon University .
RHODE ISLAND...The nation's oldest bar, the White Horse Tavern, opened here in 1673.
SOUTH CAROLINA...Sumter County is home to the world's largest gingko farm.
SOUTH DAKOTA...Is the only state that's never had an earthquake.
TENNESSEE...Nashville' s Grand Ole Opry is the longest running live radio show in the world.
TEXAS…Dr. Pepper was invented in Waco in 1885. The hamburger was invented in Arlington in 1906.
UTAH...The first Kentucky Fried Chicken restaurant opened here in 1952.
VERMONT…Montpelier is the only state capital without a McDonald's.
VIRGINIA…Home of the world's largest office building, The Pentagon.
WASHINGTON...Seattle has twice as many college graduates as any other state.
WASHINGTON D.C...Is the first planned capital in the world
WEST VIRGINIA...Had the world's first brick paved street, Summers Street, laid in Charleston in 1870.
WISCONSIN...The ice cream sundae was invented here in 1881 to get around Blue Laws prohibiting ice cream from being sold on Sunday. Also the American Water Spaniel was created there and is the state dog.
WYOMING...Was the first state to allow women to vote.

I hope you enjoyed this. Just proving no matter how old you are you can still learn new things~

From the South

 

 

Angel

 

Labor Day 2017

Although I shared the following information last year, I think it’s very much worth sharing again.

Labor Day has been celebrated as a national holiday paying tribute to working men and women in the United States and Canada since 1894.

The first Labor Day parade occurred 5 September 1882, in New York City.  The workers' unions chose the first Monday in September because it was halfway between Independence Day in July and Thanksgiving in November.

Some states designated Labor Day as a holiday before President Grover Cleveland signed a law designating the first Monday in September as the federal holiday known as Labor Day nationwide.
If you want to know more about Labor Day in the United States…what it means, where it originated, etc., this article http://www.dol.gov/laborday/history.htm has a lot of good information.