Walking

Walking can add minutes to your life.

This enables you at 95 years old to spend an additional 5 months in a nursing
home at $7000 per month…

My grandpa started walking five miles a day when he was 60.
Now he's 97 years old and we don't know where he is.

I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.

The only reason I would take up walking is so that I could hear heavy breathing again.

I have to walk early in the morning, before my brain figures out what I'm doing.

I joined a health club last year, spent about 400 bucks.
Haven't lost a pound.
Apparently you have to go there.

 

Every time I hear the dirty word 'exercise', I wash my mouth out with chocolate.

The advantage of exercising every day is so when you die, they'll say, 'Well, she looks good doesn't she.'

If you are going to try cross-country skiing, start with a small country.

I know I got a lot of exercise the last few years…just getting over the hill.

We all get heavier as we get older, because there's a lot more information in our heads.

That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

AND

Every time I start thinking too much about how I look, I just find a Happy Hour
and by the time I leave, I look just fine.

Notes From Parents

Hmmm…looks as if these parents need to go back to school!

I Will Never Forget

I have shared the following every year that I have blogged and have decided it will now be a yearly tradition to share it as a reminder…it brings tears to my eyes every time I read it.

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You say you will never forget where you were when you heard the news on September 11, 2001.

Neither will I.

I was on the 110th floor in a smoke filled room with a man who called his wife to say "Good-bye." I held his fingers steady as he dialed. I gave him the peace to say, "Honey, I am not going to make it, but it is OK...I am ready to go."

I was with his wife when he called as she fed breakfast to their children.  I held her up as she tried to understand his words and as she realized he wasn't coming home that night.

I was in the stairwell of the 23rd floor when a woman cried out to Me for help.  "I have been knocking on the door of your heart for 50 years!" I said.  "Of course I will show you the way home -- only believe on Me now."

I was at the base of the building with the Priest ministering to the injured and devastated souls. I took him home to tend to his Flock in Heaven. He heard my voice and answered.

I was on all four of those planes, in every seat, with every prayer.  I was with the crew as they were overtaken.  I was in the very hearts of the believers there, comforting and assuring them that their faith has saved them.

I was in Texas, Kansas, London.  I was standing next to you when you heard the terrible news.  Did you sense Me?

I want you to know that I saw every face.  I knew every name -- though not all know Me.

Some met Me for the first time on the 86th floor.

Some sought Me with their last breath.

Some couldn't hear Me calling to them through the smoke and flames; “Come to Me... This way... take My hand."

Some chose, for the final time, to ignore Me.

But, I was there.

I did not place you in the Tower that day.  You may not know why, but I do.
However, if you were there in that explosive moment in time, would you have reached for Me?

September 11, 2001, was not the end of the journey for you.  But someday your journey will end and I will be there for you as well.

Seek Me now while I may be found.

Then, at any moment, you know you are "ready to go."

I will be in the stairwell of your final moments.
God

During the next 60 seconds, please stop whatever you are doing, and take this opportunity (really, just 1 minute) to say an "Our Father" for the families of all those who lost their lives and the responders who risked their lives due to the events of September 11, 2001:

Our Father who art in Heaven,
Hallowed be Thy Name,
Thy Kingdom come,
Thy will be done,
On Earth as it is in Heaven.
Give us this day
Our daily bread and forgive us our trespasses,
As we forgive those who trespass against us.
And lead us not into temptation but deliver us from evil.
For Thine is the kingdom, the power and the glory, forever and ever. Amen.

Please don't forget to give thanks for your family and friends!

The Farmer and His Guests

Three friends, a Rabbi,  a Hindu holy man and a lawyer, had car trouble in the countryside and asked to spend the night with a farmer. 

 The farmer said "There might be a problem; you see, I only have room for two to sleep, so one of you must sleep in the barn."
"No problem," chimed the Rabbi, "My people wandered in the desert for forty years, I am humble enough to sleep in the barn for an evening in their memory."  
With that he departed to the barn and the others bedded down for the night. 

Moments later a knock was heard at the door; the farmer opened the door.  There stood the Rabbi from the barn.
"What's wrong?" asked the farmer.  
He replied, "I am grateful to you, good sir, but I can't sleep in the barn. There is a pig in the barn and my faith believes that is an unclean animal."

 
 

His Hindu friend agrees to swap places with him.  But a few minutes later the same scene reoccurs. There is a knock on the door.  
"What's wrong, now?" the farmer asks.  
The Hindu holy man replies, "I too am grateful for your helping us out but there is a cow in the barn and in my country cows are considered sacred.  I can't sleep on holy ground!"


 
Well, that leaves only the lawyer to make the change.  He grumbled and complained, but went out to the barn.
 

Moments later there was another knock on the farmers door. 
 

 Frustrated and tired, the farmer opens the door, and there stood... 
 

The pig and the cow.

Met in a Bar

Golfing with the Wives

Dough

Hope y’all had a great weekend. 

Mine was very busy as I needed to get quite a bit accomplished in order to be ready to fly out very early in the morning for a week long visit my grands! Woohoo!!!!!  

Don’t worry my friends as I have scheduled posts to go up every day while I’m gone.   I may/may not answer your comments while I am away but will definitely catch up when I return.     

Behave yourselves!
 

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One of these days, maybe teacher is gonna learn not to call on Little Johnny!

What is Labor Day?

Labor Day has been celebrated as a national holiday paying tribute to working men and women in the United States and Canada since 1894.

The first Labor Day parade occurred 5 September 1882, in New York City.  The workers' unions chose the first Monday in September because it was halfway between Independence Day in July and Thanksgiving in November. 

Some states designated Labor Day as a holiday before President Grover Cleveland signed a law designating the first Monday in September as the federal holiday known as Labor Day nationwide.

If you want to know more about Labor Day in the United States…what it means, where it originated, etc., this article http://www.dol.gov/laborday/history.htm has a lot of good information.

Blogiversary

Hey everyone…can you believe that today, the 5th of September 2015, is the 3rd anniversary of my blog?  I can’t! 

I started out just wanting a place to share my thoughts along with giggles I ran across with some of the friends I was meeting in blogland.  I was warmly welcomed and now three years later…I have watched blogs come and go, met many people, made several very good friends, gotten to meet two bloggers in person. 

Hopefully, I will know when it’s time to shut down…or one of my friends will be honest enough to tell me.  

Meanwhile…back to our regularly scheduled program…

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New Shop
Two businessmen in the centre of the city were sitting down for a break in their soon-to-be new shop...


As yet, the shop wasn't ready, with only a few shelves set up.


 
One said to the other, "I bet any minute now some pensioner is going to walk by, put their face to the window, and ask what we're selling."
No sooner were the words out of his mouth when, sure enough, a curious old woman walked to the window, had a peek, and in a soft voice asked, "What are you selling here?"
One of the men replied sarcastically, "We're selling assholes."
Without skipping a beat, the old dear said, “Must be doing well...Only two left."

SEX AT 73

Here’s some more giggles courtesy of our darlin’ Ami over at Ami's Starsong.

~~~~~

Just had a pamphlet through the letterbox, informing me that I can have sex at 73.
I'm so happy, because I live at number 71.
So it's not too far to walk home afterwards.
And it's the same side of the street.
I don't even have to cross the road!

~~~~~

Answering machine message,
"I am not available at the moment,
But thank you for caring enough to call.
I am making some changes in my life.
Please leave a message after the beep.
If I do not return your call, you are one of the changes."

~~~~~

My wife and I had words, but I didn't get to use mine.

~~~~~

Frustration is trying to find your glasses without your glasses.

~~~~~

Blessed are those who can give without remembering and take without forgetting.

~~~~~

The irony of life is that, by the time you're old enough to know your way around, you're not going anywhere.

~~~~~

God made man before woman so as to give him time to think of an answer for her first question.  

~~~~~

I was always taught to respect my elders, but it keeps getting harder to find one.  

~~~~~

Every morning is the dawn of a new error.  

~~~~~

Aspire to inspire before you expire.