The Farmer and His Guests

Three friends, a Rabbi,  a Hindu holy man and a lawyer, had car trouble in the countryside and asked to spend the night with a farmer. 

 The farmer said "There might be a problem; you see, I only have room for two to sleep, so one of you must sleep in the barn."
"No problem," chimed the Rabbi, "My people wandered in the desert for forty years, I am humble enough to sleep in the barn for an evening in their memory."  
With that he departed to the barn and the others bedded down for the night. 

Moments later a knock was heard at the door; the farmer opened the door.  There stood the Rabbi from the barn.
"What's wrong?" asked the farmer.  
He replied, "I am grateful to you, good sir, but I can't sleep in the barn. There is a pig in the barn and my faith believes that is an unclean animal."

 
 

His Hindu friend agrees to swap places with him.  But a few minutes later the same scene reoccurs. There is a knock on the door.  
"What's wrong, now?" the farmer asks.  
The Hindu holy man replies, "I too am grateful for your helping us out but there is a cow in the barn and in my country cows are considered sacred.  I can't sleep on holy ground!"


 
Well, that leaves only the lawyer to make the change.  He grumbled and complained, but went out to the barn.
 

Moments later there was another knock on the farmers door. 
 

 Frustrated and tired, the farmer opens the door, and there stood... 
 

The pig and the cow.

Met in a Bar

Golfing with the Wives

Dough

Hope y’all had a great weekend. 

Mine was very busy as I needed to get quite a bit accomplished in order to be ready to fly out very early in the morning for a week long visit my grands! Woohoo!!!!!  

Don’t worry my friends as I have scheduled posts to go up every day while I’m gone.   I may/may not answer your comments while I am away but will definitely catch up when I return.     

Behave yourselves!
 

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One of these days, maybe teacher is gonna learn not to call on Little Johnny!

What is Labor Day?

Labor Day has been celebrated as a national holiday paying tribute to working men and women in the United States and Canada since 1894.

The first Labor Day parade occurred 5 September 1882, in New York City.  The workers' unions chose the first Monday in September because it was halfway between Independence Day in July and Thanksgiving in November. 

Some states designated Labor Day as a holiday before President Grover Cleveland signed a law designating the first Monday in September as the federal holiday known as Labor Day nationwide.

If you want to know more about Labor Day in the United States…what it means, where it originated, etc., this article http://www.dol.gov/laborday/history.htm has a lot of good information.

Blogiversary

Hey everyone…can you believe that today, the 5th of September 2015, is the 3rd anniversary of my blog?  I can’t! 

I started out just wanting a place to share my thoughts along with giggles I ran across with some of the friends I was meeting in blogland.  I was warmly welcomed and now three years later…I have watched blogs come and go, met many people, made several very good friends, gotten to meet two bloggers in person. 

Hopefully, I will know when it’s time to shut down…or one of my friends will be honest enough to tell me.  

Meanwhile…back to our regularly scheduled program…

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New Shop
Two businessmen in the centre of the city were sitting down for a break in their soon-to-be new shop...


As yet, the shop wasn't ready, with only a few shelves set up.


 
One said to the other, "I bet any minute now some pensioner is going to walk by, put their face to the window, and ask what we're selling."
No sooner were the words out of his mouth when, sure enough, a curious old woman walked to the window, had a peek, and in a soft voice asked, "What are you selling here?"
One of the men replied sarcastically, "We're selling assholes."
Without skipping a beat, the old dear said, “Must be doing well...Only two left."

SEX AT 73

Here’s some more giggles courtesy of our darlin’ Ami over at Ami's Starsong.

~~~~~

Just had a pamphlet through the letterbox, informing me that I can have sex at 73.
I'm so happy, because I live at number 71.
So it's not too far to walk home afterwards.
And it's the same side of the street.
I don't even have to cross the road!

~~~~~

Answering machine message,
"I am not available at the moment,
But thank you for caring enough to call.
I am making some changes in my life.
Please leave a message after the beep.
If I do not return your call, you are one of the changes."

~~~~~

My wife and I had words, but I didn't get to use mine.

~~~~~

Frustration is trying to find your glasses without your glasses.

~~~~~

Blessed are those who can give without remembering and take without forgetting.

~~~~~

The irony of life is that, by the time you're old enough to know your way around, you're not going anywhere.

~~~~~

God made man before woman so as to give him time to think of an answer for her first question.  

~~~~~

I was always taught to respect my elders, but it keeps getting harder to find one.  

~~~~~

Every morning is the dawn of a new error.  

~~~~~

Aspire to inspire before you expire.

On the First Day

Here's an oldie but very funny goodie sent by our Abby over at finally finding "me"…hope you enjoy.

On the first day, God created the dog and said, "Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone who comes in or walks past.
For this, I will give you a life span of twenty years."
The dog said, "That's a long time to be barking.
How about only ten years and I'll give you back the other ten?"
And God saw it was good.

On the second day, God created the monkey and said,
"Entertain people, do tricks, and make them laugh.
For this, I'll give you a twenty-year life span."
The monkey said, "Monkey tricks for twenty years?
That's a pretty long time to perform.
How about I give you back ten like the dog did?"
And God, again saw it was good.

On the third day, God created the cow and said,
"You must go into the field with the farmer all day long and suffer under the sun, have calves and give milk to support the farmer's family.
For this, I will give you a life span of sixty years."
The cow said, "That's kind of a tough life you want me to live for sixty years. How about twenty and I'll give back the other forty?"
And God agreed it was good.

On the fourth day, God created humans and said,
"Eat, sleep, play, marry and enjoy your life. For this, I'll give you twenty years."
But the human said, "Only twenty years?
Could you possibly give me my twenty, the forty the cow gave back,
the ten the monkey gave back,
and the ten the dog gave back; that makes eighty, okay?"
"Okay," said God, "You asked for it."

So that is why for our first twenty years, we eat, sleep, play and enjoy ourselves.
For the next forty years, we slave in the sun to support our family.
For the next ten years, we do monkey tricks to entertain the grandchildren. And for the last ten years, we sit on the front porch and bark at everyone.
Life has now been explained to you.

There is no need to thank me for this valuable information.
I'm doing it as a public service.
If you are looking for me I will be on the front porch.

Always Something

A famous writer was in his study.. He picked up his pen and began writing:

• Last year, I had a surgery and my gall bladder was removed.  I had to stay stuck in bed due to this surgery for a long time.
• The same year I reached the age of 60 years and had to give up my favorite job. I had spent 30 years of my life in this publishing company.
• The same year I experienced the sorrow of the death of my father.
• In the same year my son failed in his medical exam because he had a car accident. He had to stay in bed at hospital with the cast on for several days.
• And the destruction of the car was another loss.

At the end he wrote:  Alas! It was such bad year!!

When the writer's wife entered the room, she found her husband looking sad and lost in his thoughts.  From behind his back she read what was written on the paper.  She left the room silently and came back shortly with another paper she had written, and placed it beside her husband's writing.

When the writer saw her paper, he began reading:

• Last year I finally got rid of my gall bladder due to which I had spent years in pain.
• I turned 60 with sound health and got retired from my job. Now I can utilize my time to write better with more focus and peace.
• The same year my father, at the age of 95, without depending on anyone or without any critical condition met his Creator.
• The same year, God blessed my son with a new life.  My car was destroyed, but my son stayed alive without getting any disability.

At the end she wrote:  This year was an immense blessing and it passed well

See!!   The same incidents but different viewpoints.

~~~Moral~~~

In daily lives we must see that its not happiness that makes us grateful, but gratefulness that makes us happy.

There is always, always, always something to be thankful for.

Great Holiday

A Travel Agent looked up from his desk to see an old lady and an old gentleman peering in the shop window at the posters showing the glamorous destinations around the world.


The agent had had a good week and the dejected couple looking in the window gave him a rare feeling of generosity.

He called them into his shop, "I know that on your pension you could never hope to have a great holiday, so I am sending you off to a fabulous resort at my expense and I won't take 'no' for an answer."

He took them inside and asked his secretary to arrange two flight tickets and book a room in a five star hotel."

Then, as can be expected, they gladly accepted, and were off!



About a month later the little old lady came in to his shop.


"And how did you like your holiday?" he asked eagerly.


"The flight was exciting and the room was lovely," she said. "I've come to thank you, but one thing puzzled me. Who was that old bugger I had to share the room with?"