A Flying Priest and A Clever Priest

Here’s another good giggle from Meredith's Jack...

Two priests died at the same time and met Saint Peter at the Pearly Gates. St. Peter said, "I'd like to get you guys in now, but our computer is down.  You'll have to go back to Earth for about a week, but you can't go back as priests.  So what else would you like to be?"
 
The first priest says, "I've always wanted to be an eagle, soaring above the Rocky Mountains."
 
"So be it," says St. Peter, and off flies the first priest.

 
 
The second priest mulls this over for a moment and asks, "Will any of this week 'count', St. Peter?"
 
"No, I told you the computer's down. There's no way we can keep track of what you're doing."
 
"In that case," says the second priest, "I've always wanted to be a stud."
 
"So be it," says St. Peter, and the second priest disappears.

 
 
A week goes by, the computer is fixed, and the Lord tells St. Peter to recall the two priests. "Will you have any trouble locating them?" He asks.

"The first one should be easy," says St. Peter. "He's somewhere over the Rockies, flying with the eagles. But the second one could prove to be more difficult."

"Why?" asketh the Lord.


"He's on a snow tire, somewhere in Maine."

I do believe St. Peter has been hanging around heaven too long.  LOL
 

To Be a Mom

You do not have to give birth or adopt in order to be a mom.  If you have ever worried about, fussed at,  and basically ‘mothered’ your friends, and/or other people’s children,, even if you have never raised a child, you ARE a mom.   So, to all who are moms, moms to be, and moms of the heart, this is for you!
 

 

 

 

 

 

Wishing all moms, step moms, soon-to-be moms, surrogate moms, pet moms and mothers-in-love (an awesome term coined by Ana)  a VERY HAPPY, ABSOLUTELY LOVELY AND LOVING MOTHER’S DAY!

Smith & Wesson

Here’s another fun oldie from Meredith's Jack,…
 

When my friend goes to her ATM, or anywhere else alone, she always takes along her Smith & Wesson.    

 
She has never had any problems with muggers, rapists, panhandlers, wiseasses, or street punks.
 

Scroll down for photo of her making a withdrawal.
 

 
 
 

 

Smith is on the left.

First Class Travel

Here’s a good oldie from Meredith's Jack,…shared a version of this a while back but funny enough that I had to share this version.
 
A plane is on its way to Toronto, when a blonde in economy class gets up and moves to the first class section and sits down.

The flight attendant watches her do this and asks to see her ticket.

She then tells the blonde that she paid for economy class and that she will have to sit in the back.

The blonde replies, "I’m blonde, I’m beautiful, I’m going to Toronto and I’m staying right here."


The flight attendant goes into the cockpit and tells the pilot and the co-pilot that there is a blonde bimbo sitting in first class that belongs in economy and won't move back to her seat.

The co-pilot goes back to the blonde and tries to explain that because she only paid for economy she will have to leave and return to her seat.

The blonde replies, "I’m blonde, I’m beautiful, I’m going to Toronto and I’m staying right here."


The co-pilot tells the pilot that he probably should have the police waiting when they land to arrest this blonde woman who won't listen to reason.

The pilot says, "You say she is a blonde? I'll handle this, I’m married to a blonde. I speak blonde."

He goes back to the blonde and whispers in her ear, and she says, "oh, I'm sorry." and gets up and goes back to her seat in economy.


The flight attendant and co-pilot are amazed and asked him what he said to make her move without any fuss.


"I told her, 'first class isn't going to Toronto."

Growth

Pharmacy Visit

Here’s a wonderful oldie from our own PK that I shared several years ago…definitely worth sharing again. 


Two young boys walked into a pharmacy one day, picked out a box of tampons and proceeded to the checkout counter.
 

The pharmacist at the counter asked the older boy, "Son, how old are you?” 
 

“Eight,” the boy replied. 
 

The man continued, “Do you know what these are used for?” 
 

The boy replied, “Not exactly, but they aren't for me. They're for him. He's my brother. He's four." 
 

"Oh, really?" the pharmacist replied with a grin. 
 
 

“Yes," the boy said. "We saw on TV that if you use these, you would be able to swim, play tennis and ride a bike. Right now, he can't do none of that.”

And that’s when the fight started…

Have previously shared some of these but they’re worth sharing again with the rest of the giggles…

Courtesy of US Herald

Slight Accident

Here’s a really good giggle from Meredith's Jack,…

My darling husband, Before you return from your business trip, I just want to let you know about the small accident I had with the pick-up truck when I turned into the driveway. Fortunately it's not too bad and I really didn't get hurt, so please don't worry too much about me.
 
I was coming home from Wal-Mart, and when I turned into the driveway I accidentally pushed down on the accelerator instead of the brake.
 
The garage door is slightly bent but fortunately the pick up came to a halt when it bumped into your car.
 
I am really sorry, but I know with your kind-hearted personality you will forgive me. You know how much I love you and care for you my sweetheart.
 
I am enclosing a picture of the damage for you.
 


I cannot wait to hold you in my arms again.

Your loving wife.
XXXOOO


P.S. Your girlfriend called.
 
And who thinks this was an accident?   

9 Habits Of Couples In Strong And Healthy Relationships

via Shutterstock

When two people mutually respect one another, they're happy.
 
Not all relationships have guaranteed success. That’s why it’s always a big risk for when people choose to fall in love with each other. They open themselves up to the possibilities of getting hurt and heartbroken whenever things don’t go their way in the end. They invest huge parts of themselves into the relationship in the hopes that they don’t end up getting emotionally betrayed. For the very lucky few, they get it right the first time. They meet someone with whom they share instant chemistry with. They have a relationship with minimal kinks and they go on living that cliché happy ending. 
 
However, for the vast majority of the world, relationships aren’t always that simple. They can be very complicated and frustrating. They can be very stressful and difficult to bear. But the love is always what makes it worthwhile. People all over the world are always looking for love. Every single one of us needs love in order to move on in life. That is why we always try our best to find a significant other with whom we can build a strong foundation of love.
 
So given that, it should be in your best interest to always make sure that your relationship is happy and healthy. So how do you do that? Well, there is no sure formula. But there are some tips and habits that are found in strong couples that you should be adopting for your own relationship as well.
 
1. They have open communication.
Communication is the foundation for all the strong relationships in the world. Couples always have to try their best to be as open to one another as much as possible. The strongest kinds of couples are those that don’t keep secrets from each other. They are always comfortable with being honest with one another regardless of how uncomfortable the truth may make them.
 
2. They respect one another.
Respect is the most important aspect of forming a relationship with a person regardless of whether it is romantic or not. You cannot possibly form a bond with another person unless there is mutual respect there. In romantic relationships, the best couples are those who are able to respect each other’s boundaries and principles.
 
3. They value the time they spend together.
They don’t necessarily have to be spending every waking moment together, but when they do, it’s always time that is valued. The best kinds of couples know that quality time is much more important than spending huge portions of the day with one another. Whenever they go out on dates or when they’re just hanging out at the house, they have this ability to tune out the world and just immerse themselves in each other.
 
4. They have lives outside of the relationship.
The relationship isn’t the only aspect of their lives. The best kinds of couples don’t disregard their friends, families, or careers. They don’t make their partners the sole aspect of their life. They are still human beings who are looking for growth and fulfilment outside of the relationship as well.
 
5. They express their love for each other frequently.
They never let go of an opportunity to express their love for one another. They always want to reassure each other of their commitment to the relationship. They never shy away from expressing their affections because they know that that is an essential part of developing their intimacy for one another.
 
6. They are always looking to complement one another.
They work as a team. Where one person is weak, the other has to be strong. They always try their best to balance each other out. If one person is an optimist, then the other person has to be the realist. They have to be able to complement and complete each other in a way that pushes them both to become more well-rounded and holistic people.
 
7. They make compromises.
Relationships are always about compromise. When you get into a relationship with someone, you are no longer living life by your own rules. That’s why you always have to take into consideration the feelings and opinions of your partner. You will have to be willing to make certain adjustments and compromises here in there to preserve the harmony in the relationship.


 
8. They have active sex lives.
Sex is a very important aspect in a modern relationship. The best kinds of couples have very active sex lives. They don’t treat sex as something that is awkward or taboo. They understand sex to be the best form of physical expression of their love for one another. It is also a direct manifestation of their trust and comfort levels in the relationship.
 
9. They don’t compare each other to other people.
They never look to see if the grass is greener on the other side. If they have problems within the relationship, then they keep it inside of the relationship. They only try to build their relationship from within. These couples know that they can’t afford to define their relationship by other people’s standards.

Courtesy of Relationship Rules

Head’s Up!