Posting on Facebook

Posting your job grievances on Facebook is a less than stellar idea…
 

 
Be careful when posting malcontent for your job as your bosses have Facebook too.
 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 
 

 

 

Courtesy of the Chive

A Curmudgeon's Perspective…

 

3. You can tell a lot about a woman's mood just by her hands. If they are holding a gun, she's probably mad.

4. Gone are the days when girls cooked like their mothers . Now they drink like their fathers.

5. You know that tingly little feeling you get when you really like someone you've just met?  That's common sense leaving your body.

Hello Tech Support

 

 
Tech Support: 'I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop.'
Customer: ‘OK.'
Tech Support: 'Did you get a pop-up menu?'
Customer: ‘No.'
Tech Support: 'OK. Right-Click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?'
Customer: ‘No.'
Tech Support: 'OK, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until this point?'
Customer: 'Sure. You told me to write 'click' and I wrote 'click' .'

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 
Tech Support: 'OK. At the bottom left hand side of your screen, can you see the 'OK' button displayed?'
Customer: ‘Wow! How can you see my screen from there?'

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 
Caller: 'I deleted a file from my PC last week and I just realized that I need it. So, if I turn my system clock back two weeks will I get my file back again?'

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 
This has to be one of the funniest things in a long time. I think this guy should have been promoted, not fired.

This is a true story from the WordPerfect Helpline, which was transcribed from a recording monitoring the customer care department.

Needless to say the Help Desk employee was fired; however, he/she is currently suing the WordPerfect organization for 'Termination without Cause.'

Actual dialogue of a former WordPerfect Customer Support employee (Now I know why they record these conversations!):
 
Operator: 'Ridge Hall, computer assistance; may I help you?'
Caller: 'Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect.'
 
Operator: 'What sort of trouble?'
Caller: 'Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away.'
 
Operator: 'Went away?'
Caller: 'They disappeared'
 
Operator: 'Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?'
Caller: 'Nothing.'
 
Operator: 'Nothing??'
Caller: 'It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type.'
 
Operator: 'Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out?'
Caller: 'How do I tell?'
 
Operator: ‘Can you see the 'C: prompt' on the screen?'
Caller: 'What's a sea-prompt?'
 
Operator: 'Never mind, can you move your cursor around the screen?'
Caller: 'There isn't any cursor; I told you, it won't accept anything I type.'
 
Operator: 'Does your monitor have a power indicator?'
Caller: 'What's a monitor?'
 
Operator: 'It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does it have a little light that tells you when it's on?'
Caller: ‘I don't know.'
 
Operator: ‘Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord goes into it. Can you see that??'
Caller: 'Yes, I think so.'
 
Opera tor: 'Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged into the wall.
Caller: 'Yes, it is.'
 
Operator: 'When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one? '
Caller: ‘No.'
 
Operator: ‘Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other cable.'
Caller: ‘Okay, here it is.'
 
Operator: ‘Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into the back of your computer. . .'
Caller: ‘I can't reach.'
 
Operator: ‘OK. Well, can you see if it is?'
Caller: ‘No...'
 
Operator: ‘Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over?'
Caller: ‘Well, it's not because I don't have the right angle -- it's because it's dark.'
 
Operator: ‘Dark?'
Caller: ‘Yes - the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from the window.'
 
Operator: 'Well, turn on the office light then.'
Caller: 'I can't..'
 
Operator: 'No? Why not?'
Caller: 'Because there's a power failure.'
 
Operator: 'A power .... A power failure? Aha.  Okay, we've got it licked now.  Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff that your computer came in?'
Caller: 'Well, yes, I keep them in the closet.'
 
Operator: 'Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it was when you got it.Then take it back to the store you bought it from.'
Caller: 'Really? Is it that bad?'
 
Operator: 'Yes, I'm afraid it is.'
Caller: ‘Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them?'
 
Operator: ‘TELL THEM YOU'RE TOO DAMNED STUPID TO OWN A COMPUTER!'

Beautiful Flowers

These are all lovely flowers and some are very unusual with unusual names.

 

Hooker’s Lips (Psychotria Elata)

 

Dancing Girls (Impatiens Bequaertii)

 

Laughing Bumble Bee Orchid (Ophrys bbomyblifora)

 

Swaddled Babies (Anguloa Uniflora)

 

Parrot Flower (Impatiens Psittacina)

 

Snap Dragon Seed Pod (Antirrhinum)

 

Flying Duck Orchid (Caleana Major)

 

An orchid that looks remarkably like a tiger

 

Happy Alien (Calceolaria Uniflora)

 

And his friends...

 

Angel Orchid (Habenaria Grandifloriformis)

 

Dove Orchid Or Holy Ghost Orchid (Peristeria Elata)

 

White Egret Orchid (Habenaria Radiata)

 

The Darth Vader (Aristolochia Salvadorensis)

 

An Orchid That Looks Like A Ballerina

 

Monkey Face Orchid (Dracula Simia)

 

Moth Orchid (Phalaenopsis)

What a wonderful world!

"May God grant you always...
A sunbeam to warm you,
a moonbeam to charm you,
a sheltering Angel so nothing can harm you,
Laughter to cheer you.
Faithful friends near you.
And whenever you pray, Heaven to hear you."

–  An Irish Blessing

250 Year Old Sex Toy

The sex toy made of leather with a wood head, was found in the toilet of a sword training school.




Coatal City of Gdansk, Poland
It is thought that someone may have dropped the dildo in the toilet.



Wooden Head
The wooden head is perfectly preserved and the leather shaft is full of bristles...for your pleasure.


 
Preservation Work
The enormous sex toy has been taken away for preservation work.



Sword Training School
Swords were also discovered on the dig leading archaeologists to conclude that the location was a swordsmanship training school.


 

Courtesy of Randomly Funny Stuff

 

Looks as if they were practicing with more than one type of sword.