For those of you old enough to remember Red Skelton, I think you will enjoy this. For those of you not old enough, you will see what you missed. Either way, his humor was always clean, and he was a great entertainer. A rerun of great one liner’s from the man who was known for his clean humor. I hope you get a chuckle or two reading them once more.
RED SKELTON’S RECIPE FOR THE PERFECT MARRIAGE
1. Two times a week we go to a nice restaurant, have a little beverage, good food and companionship. She goes on Tuesdays; I go on Fridays.
2. We also sleep in separate beds. Hers is in California, and mine is in Texas.
3. I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back.
4. I asked my wife where she wanted to go for our anniversary. She said…‘Somewhere I haven’t been in a long time!’ So I suggested the kitchen.
5. We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.
6. She has an electric blender, electric toaster and electric bread maker. She said ‘There are too many gadgets, and no place to sit down!’ So I bought her an electric chair.
7. My wife told me the car wasn’t running well because there was water in the carburetor. I asked where the car was. She told me, ‘In the lake.’
8. She got a mud-pack, and looked great for two days. Then the mud fell off.
9. She ran after the garbage truck, yelling, ‘Am I too late for the garbage?’ The driver said, ‘No, jump in!’
10. Remember: Marriage is the number one cause of divorce.
11. I married Miss Right. I just didn’t know her first name was Always.
12. I haven’t spoken to my wife in 18 months. I don’t like to interrupt her.
13. The last fight was my fault though. My wife asked, ‘What’s on the TV?’ I said, ‘Dust!’
Can’t you just hear him say all of these? I love it. These were the good old days when humor didn’t have to start with a four letter word…It was just clean and simple fun.
Courtesy of ViralSlot
I did love him - I remember his skit as "little boy" - he would say, "If I do it I get a whipping. I don't care I do it anyway!"
ReplyDeleteI had forgotten all about that skit, PK! Thanks for the reminder. ;)
DeleteHugs and blessings...Cat
I liked Freddie the Freeloader!
ReplyDeleteHugs,
Ella
That was a good one also, Ella. ;)
DeleteHugs and blessings...Cat
I remember The Red Skelton show!
ReplyDeleteIt was fun wasn't it, Minelle. ;)
DeleteHugs and blessings...Cat
I don't remember Red Skelton, but these were hilarious. Good clean humour as you said Cat.Thank you for sharing this and for the giggle :)
ReplyDeleteHugs
Roz
Happy you enjoyed it, Roz...not sure if his show ever made it outside the US. You might search YouTube and see if any of his skits are there. ;)
DeleteHugs and blessings...Cat
Never heard of him, but we have comedians like this over here too
ReplyDeletelove Jan, xx
I'm sure you have some very good comedians, Jan. As I told Roz...not sure if he or his show ever made it outside the US. ;)
DeleteHugs and blessings...Cat
I do remember Red...and the good 'old' days of clean and funny shows..thanks for reminding us.
ReplyDeletehugs abby
You're welcome, Abby. I think the comedians who actually had to work up 'clean' jokes and skits were much more talented than those that curse words and trashing others.
DeleteHugs and blessings...Cat