The Things Doctors Deal With…

Courtesy of The Chive

I Can Fix That

I received the following from our Sarah over at Clear As Mud and just had to share.   

Don't have a spoon?  I can fix that!

Seatbelt broken?  I can fix that!

New TV too big for the old cabinet?  I can fix that!

No bottle opener?  I can fix that! 

Room too dark?  I can fix that!

 

Electrical problem?  I can fix that!

Car stereo stolen?  I can fix that! 

Bookshelf cracking under the weight?  I can fix that!

Can't afford a real GPS?  I can fix that!

No ice chest?  I can fix that!

Can't read the ATM screen?  I can fix that!

Car imported from the wrong country?  I can fix that!

Satellite go out in the rain?  I can fix that!

Since I have satellite internet, would love it if this really worked!

Wiper motor burned out?  I can fix that!

Display rack falling over?  I can fix that!

Desk overloaded?  I can fix that!

Car can't be ordered with the "Woody" option?  I can fix that!

Exhaust pipe dragging?  I can fix that!

Gotta feed the baby AND do the laundry?  I can fix that!

Cables falling behind the desk?  I can fix that!
Actually have seen this on several DIY sites.

No skate park in town?  I can fix that!

? - Heating coffee on iron

Never  underestimate  power  of  engineering.  

Drunk Wife

Sandy staggered home very late after an evening drinking with her girlfriends. She took off her shoes to avoid waking up her husband, Sam.


She tiptoed as quietly as she could toward the stairs leading to their upstairs bedroom, but misjudged the bottom step. As she caught herself by grabbing the banister, her body swung around and she landed heavily on her bottom. A whiskey bottle in each back pocket broke and made the landing especially painful.


Managing not to yell, Sandy sprung up, pulled down her pants, and looked in the hall mirror to see that her bottom cheeks were cut and bleeding. She managed to quietly find a full box of Band-Aids and began putting a Band-Aid as best as she could on each place she saw blood.


She then hid the now almost empty Band-Aid box and shuffled and stumbled her way to bed.


In the morning, Sandy woke up with searing pain in both her head and bottom and Sam staring at her from across the room.
He said, ‘You were drunk again last night, weren’t you?’


Sandy said, ‘Why would you say such a mean thing?’


‘Well,’ Sam said, ‘it could be the open front door…or it could be the broken glass at the bottom of the stairs or it could be the drops of blood trailing through the house or it could be your bloodshot eyes, but mostly…it’s all those Band-Aids stuck on the hall mirror. 


I know that Matthew’s next words would have been ‘now roll over and let me see how badly your bottom is hurt before…’   


If you had pulled something like this, what response would you have received? LOL

The 5 W’s of Life

Trials, Temptations, Disappointments

Trials, temptations, disappointments...all these are helps instead of hindrances, if one uses them rightly.  They not only test the fibre of a character, but strengthen it.  Every conquered temptation represents a new fund of moral energy.  Every trial endured and weathered in the right spirit makes a soul nobler and stronger than it was before.

- James Buckham

Message to Christina

Here’s a quick note to the community…I have received several emails and messages asking if I knew about the contents of Christina’s post prior to it going up because of the timing of my post The Fence which went up a few hours before hers.  The answer to that is no, I found out in the same post that everyone else did.  However, I would suggest that people keep the moral of the story in mind...


Now…C…You haven't answered my texts or messages...you need to read them and go read all the messages to you on Blondie's post.  You know how I like to communicate with my quotes and pictures…the following are for you!
































You are definitely worth a lot to many of us!

Please…let us know you are okay. 

 Let it go!

Yes Christina…we still want to be there for and with you!

To all in blog land…