Naughty Nuns

If you can't get the video to work, here's the link directly to YouTube

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S8qQVyLIYdI

Yes, it's a bit over ten minutes but it's a series of vignettes that are about a minute long so you can watch as many or as few as you want.  If you don't watch any others, watch the first one! LOL

Hope you enjoy!

Book Titles!

 

 

 

 

 Such a lovely lesson to teach our children...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Seriously?  And the purpose would be…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I love collecting cookbooks but will definitely pass on this one!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 Okaaaaaay…and I need a book to tell me this?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

And are you going to show pictures?

 

 

 

 

Riiiiight…I know a few that aren't cool and will never be awesome no matter how much they practice! 

 
 
 
 
 
 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Just what we want to teach our children!

 

 

 

 Hmmm…know a few like that! LOL

 



 

 

 

Seriously?  You need a book to answer that question?

 

 

 

 

 

George Carlin is always funny…would definitely purchase this one.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Hmmm…Wonder if this comes with a CD or DVD so we can hear the sounds.

 

 

 

And we care because…

 

Mother of the Brides

A mother had 3 virgin daughters. They were all getting married within a short time period.  Because Mum was a bit worried about how their sex life would get started, she made them all promise to send a postcard from the honeymoon with a few words on how marital sex felt.
 


The first girl sent a card from Hawaii two days after the wedding. The card said nothing but “Nescafe”.
Mum was puzzled at first, but then went the kitchen and got out the Nescafe jar. It said: “Good till the last drop.”

Mum blushed, but was pleased for her daughter.







 
 
 
 
 
The second girl sent the card from Vermont a week after the wedding, and the card read:”Benson & Hedges”.
Mum now knew to go straight to her husband’s cigarettes, and she read from the Benson & Hedges pack: “Extra long. King Size”.


She was again slightly embarrassed but still happy for her daughter.

 
 


The third girl left for her honeymoon in the Caribbean. Mum waited for a week, nothing. Another week went by and still nothing. Then after a whole month, a card finally arrived. 

Written on it with shaky handwriting were the words “British Airways”.
 







Mum took out her latest Harper’s Bazaar magazine, flipped through the pages fearing the worst, and finally found the ad for British Airways.


The ad said:

“Three times a day, seven days a week, both ways.”

 
 


Mum fainted!
 

The Confession

“Bless me Father, for I have sinned. I have been with a loose woman.” 
 
The priest asks, “Is that you, little Tommy Shaughnessy?” 
 
“Yes, Father, it is.”
 
 
“And who was the woman you were with?” 
 
“Sure and I can’t be telling you, Father.  I don’t want to ruin her reputation.” 
 
 
“Well, Tommy, I’m sure to find out sooner or later, so you may as well tell me now. Was it Brenda O’Malley?” 
 
“I cannot say.” 
 
 
“Was it Patricia Kelly?” 
 
“I’ll never tell.” 
 
 
“Was it Liz Shannon?” 
 
“I’m sorry, but I’ll not name her.” 
 
 
“Was it Cathy Morgan?” 
 
“My lips are sealed.” 
 
 
“Was it Fiona McDonald, then?” 
 
“Please, Father, I cannot tell you.” 

 
 
 
The priest sighs in frustration. “You’re a steadfast lad, Tommy Shaughnessy, and I admire that. But you’ve sinned, and you must atone. You cannot attend church for three months. Be off with you now.” 
 
 
 
Tommy walks back to his pew. His friend Sean slides over and whispers, “What’d you get?” 
 
 
 
“Three month’s vacation and five good leads!” says Tommy. 
 
 
ROFLMBO!

Date Night

One night a Scottish couple took a walk through a beautiful lit up town.
The woman says to the man, ''You want to hold my hand, don't you?''
The man says,''Yes, how did you know?''
She says, ''By the gleam in your eye.''
So they held hands.

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A little down the road the woman says to the man, ''You want to kiss me don't you?''
The man says,''Yes, how did you know?''
She says, ''By the gleam in your eye.''
So they kissed and kept walking.

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A little later the woman asks the man, ''You want to screw me don't you?''
The man says, ''How did you know? By the gleam in my eye?''
The woman says, ''No, by the tilt in your kilt.''

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Parenting Tip

 


Here’s a parenting pro tip for everyone: never give your child your passport along with a sharpie pen, because this is what it will look like after your little Da Vinci gets to work. This particular passport belongs to a Chinese man who got stuck in an airport in South Korea because his passport was claimed unrecognizable by the border officials. 

It is indeed hard to recognize the man because the passport is completely covered in amusing doodles drawn by his son, a four-year-old with an artistic streak. 

The picture was originally posted on social networking site Weibo by the father, known only as Chen, alongside a plea for help, Shanghaiist reports. 

But looks like the plea did not help, as he had to enjoy his prolonged holiday in South Korea.
 

Courtesy of  The Facts Book

Oops!

This ‘n That

Hey y’all…hope everyone is doing well. Just got a few thoughts I wanted to share…




You might have noticed that I redecorated my blog...please let me know if you have trouble reading it. And yes, the "Adults only" notice above has always been on my blog...just moved it.

Some people don’t want the responsibility of creating and maintaining a blog. You might me one of those people but you still might like to share a thought or two…maybe a recipe…or maybe have a question you would like blogland to help answer. If so, please email me…I am happy to share my blog.


If you have tried any of the recipes I have shared here and would like to give feedback as to how you and your family enjoyed it…please feel free. Would love to hear if you changed up any of the ingredients.


Regarding recipes…I collect cookbooks and recipes so if there is a recipe you would like to try…maybe one you’ve been looking for, please feel free to email me…I just might have it.


I have received several emails asking which post contains examples of my paintings. In addition, I keep forgetting which pictures I have emailed to which person so I have created a separate page called “My Artwork”…the link for it is located on the right side of the blog with the page links to “My Life” and “Internet Acronyms and Characters”. I will be posting pictures of my art there. So anytime you are curious, you can go see my latest work. Yes, Comments are allowed on that page and I will be answering any questions you might have.

The following canvasses are part of my WIP:







This is the Chinese character for Love














This is is self-explanatory but for those of you who are in doubt, yes, it is a female bottom. 










I will post each of them on my artwork page as I complete them.



Now I will leave you with a few naughty giggles…hope you enjoy!



 
 
Would this “happy” couple of lawn gnomes offend or entertain your neighbors? Pick one or even two up…ON SALE NOW at Rebel Circus! http://www.rebelcircus.com/happy-couple-lawn-gnome.html
 
 






 

Shrimp Fried Rice

Hey y’all…haven’t shared a recipe for a while so thought I’d share my simple recipe for fried rice. 

 

Ingredients

• 2 cups cooked rice
• ¼ pound cooked shrimp
• 2 tablespoons sesame oil
• 1 small onion, chopped
• ½ cup thin sliced carrots
• ½ cup frozen peas, thawed
• 1 clove garlic, minced
• ⅛ teaspoon red pepper flakes (optional)
• 2 eggs lightly beaten
• 2 tablespoons soy sauce
• 2 tablespoons green onions

 

Directions

1. Heat sesame oil in large skillet or wok on medium heat.
2. Add onion and carrots, stir fry until almost tender.
3. Add peas and garlic, stir for another minute.
4. Crack eggs into pan and scramble, mixing throughout the vegetables
5. Add rice, stir until heated almost through.
6. Add shrimp, stir until heated through. 
7. Remove from heat and stir in soy sauce and optional red pepper flakes.
8. Remove from heat and top with green onions.

Notes:

• I use whatever rice I have cooked…usually brown basmati but any will work.
• Since shrimp is pre-cooked, make sure your rice is almost heated through before adding shrimp.
• I have also made this with chicken rather than shrimp.
• If you don’t want any meat, you can increase your vegetables.
• A friend of mine uses mixed frozen peas/carrots rather than cutting the carrots but I prefer sliced carrots rather than small cubes.

Please feel free to contact me if you have any questions.  As always, if you try this, I would love any feedback you care to give.

Family and Friends

 

 

 

 

 

Sending prayers, healing energy and positive thoughts to all my family and friends in blog land who are hurting…know that you are are loved. 

 

Shopping Trip

This is supposedly a true account recorded in the Police Log of Sarasota, Florida…I don’t know if it’s really true but sure is funny.  Hope you enjoy! 
 

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An elderly Florida lady had finished her shopping and, upon returning to her car, found four males in the act of leaving with her vehicle. 
 
 
She dropped her shopping bags and drew her handgun, proceeding to scream at the top of her lungs, "I have a gun, and I know how to use it! Get out of the car!" 
 
 
The four men didn't wait for a second threat. They got out and ran like mad.
 
 
The lady, somewhat shaken, then proceeded to load her shopping bags into the back of the car and got into the driver's seat. 
 
She was so shaken that she could not get her key into the ignition. 
 
She tried and tried, and then she realized why. 

 
 
It was for the same reason she had wondered why there was a football, a Frisbee, and two 12-packs of beer in the front seat. 

 
 
A few minutes later, she found her own car parked four or five spaces farther down. 
 
 
 
She loaded her bags into the car and drove to the police station to report her mistake. 
 
 
 
The sergeant to whom she told the story couldn't stop laughing. 

 
 
He pointed to the other end of the counter, where four pale men were reporting a car jacking by a mad, elderly woman described as white, less than five feet tall, glasses, curly white hair, and carrying a large handgun.  No charges were filed.
 
 

Moral of the story?
 

If you're going to have a senior moment...make it memorable.