The Brothel

The madam opened the brothel door in Winnipeg and saw a rather dignified, well-dressed, good-looking man in his late forties or early fifties.

"May I help you sir?" she asked.

The man replied, "I want to see Valerie."

"Sir, Valerie is one of our most expensive ladies. Perhaps you would prefer someone else." said the madam.

He replied, "No, I must see Valerie."

Just then, Valerie appeared and announced to the man she charged $5000 a visit.

Without hesitation, the man pulled out five thousand dollars and gave it to Valerie, and they went upstairs.

After an hour, the man calmly left.



The next night, the man appeared again, once more demanding to see Valerie.

Valerie explained that no one had ever come back two nights in a row as she was too expensive.

"There are no discounts. The price is still $5000."

Again, the man pulled out the money, gave it to Valerie, and they went upstairs.

After an hour, he left.



The following night the man was there yet again.

Everyone was astounded that he had come for a third consecutive night, but he paid Valerie and they went upstairs.



After their session, Valerie said to the man, "No one has ever been with me three nights in a row.  Where are you from?"

The man replied, " New Brunswick."

"Really," she said.  "I have family in New Brunswick."

"I know." the man said.

"Your sister died, and I am her attorney. She asked me to give you your $15,000 inheritance."


The moral of the story is that three things in life are certain:
1. Death
2. Taxes
3. Being screwed by a lawyer!

Give More, Expect Less

Today's post is brought to you courtesy of  our Willie from Barney Married WIlma.  Of course, when she said it reminded her of me, I had to wonder if this was her nice way of calling me a donkey or a jackass. LOL

One day a farmer's donkey fell down into a well.

The animal cried piteously for hours as the farmer tried to figure out what to do.

Finally, he decided the animal was old, and the well needed to be covered up anyway; it just wasn't worth it to retrieve the donkey.

He invited all his neighbors to come over and help him.

They all grabbed a shovel and began to shovel dirt into the well.

At first, the donkey realized what was happening and cried horribly. Then, to everyone's amazement he quieted down.

A few shovel loads later, the farmer finally looked down the well. He was astonished at what he saw.

With each shovel of dirt that hit his back, the donkey was doing something amazing. He would shake it off and take a step up.

As the farmer's neighbors continued to shovel dirt on top of the animal, he would shake it off and take a step up. Pretty soon, everyone was amazed as the donkey stepped up over the edge of the well and happily trotted off!

MORAL:
Life is going to shovel dirt on you, all kinds of dirt. The trick to getting out of the well is to shake it off and take a step up. Each of our troubles is a steppingstone. We can get out of the deepest wells just by not stopping, never giving up! Shake it off and take a step up.

Remember the five simple rules to be happy:
1. Free your heart from hatred - Forgive.
2. Free your mind from worries - Most never happens.
3. Live simply and appreciate what you have.
4. Give more.
5. Expect less from people but more from yourself.

6. Smack the farmer once the donkey is out! (Of course, this is my addition.)

Questions and Answers...Maybe

Evidently, March is Q&A month in our little corner of blog land so if you have any questions for me, feel free to ask them in the comments section below or send me an email.


Of course, you don’t have to be a regular commenter or follower…everyone is welcome to ask.


No guarantees I will answer but you are more than welcome to ask.

Remember...

The True Meaning of Helping

The true meaning of a helping hand.  These people Papa Roux are awesome.
 

So while I'm outside putting down massive quantities of ice melt, a young kid walked through the parking lot headed west.  He asked me how far it was to 10th and Sherman.  I told him it was quite a way away.  At least 6 or 7 miles.  I suggested that he would be far better off on the bus then on foot, especially in all this ice and slush.  He thanked me and continued on.

He could have asked me for money for a bus. In fact I quite expected him to. He didn't.  He just started walking.

15 minutes later, as we were driving down 10th street to head to Strange Brew, we saw him still waking down 10th.  He was not yet to Franklin Road.

I told Colleen Roux to pull over, and I called to him to get in.  As we were driving, we asked him about his journey.

Jhaquiel was waking from 42nd and Post to an interview at 10th and Sherman.  For a potential (but not guaranteed) minimum-wage job.  In this weather.  Walking, because he couldn't afford the bus.  He had actually planned his time well and the interview was still 2 hours away.

We drove him to 10th and Sherman.  He was extremely thankful and said so.  I got his telephone number and told him to keep his interview, but I would see if there was a way to hire him, so his daily trek to work would be 3 miles instead of 10.  I also asked him if he had eaten today, and he said he hadn't.  I gave him money for lunch and dropped him at the 10th and Sherman Dairy Queen.  I think he was in shock.

So, he doesn't know it yet, but he starts with us on Monday.  It's been a while since I've met someone so young with a work ethic like that!

And the next time somebody hands me a sob story about needing money for this or that, because they really want to make their lives better... I hope to be able to introduce them to Jhaquiel. :-)

Cats Are SO Dramatic...

Life ends when you stop dreaming...
Hope ends when you stop believing...
Love ends when you stop caring... and
Friendship ends when you stop sharing!

Overdue Rent

Former Citizen of the Year Accused of Spanking Man

By Lawrence Budd
Staff Writer

A local business leader, Waynesville’s Citizen of the Year in 2006, is facing an assault charge accusing him of spanking a 29-year-old male tenant in a dispute over more than $2,000 in overdue rent.

Ron Kronenberger, 53, of Waynesville is scheduled for arraignment at 1 p.m. Thursday on an assault charge stemming from the Jan. 22 incident at his office at the Hometown Marketplace, a supermarket he owns in Waynesville.

Kronenberger is accused of striking the alleged victim four times on the buttocks with a belt. Pictures taken showed “little marks,” according to a police report.

“If you’re going to act like a child, I’m going to treat you like one,” Kronenberger said before the alleged assault, according to the report.

Kronenberger, past president of the Waynesville Area Chamber of Commerce, could not be reached for comment and declined to make a statement to police, according to reports. His lawyer, Lawrence Greger, could not be reached.

In response to questions from Police Chief Gary Copeland, the alleged victim said “he was scared and just wanted to get it over with,” according to the report.

“At this point, Chief left to attempt to make contact with Ron Kronenberger about the incident, in which Ron admits whipping (the victim) due to late rent payment in the amount of $2,800,” Officer Daniel Bledsoe said in the report narrative.

Kronenberger remains free after missing his original arraignment, according to records in Warren County Court. He is charged with one count of assault, usually a first-degree misdemeanor.

Courtesy of  http://www.daytondailynews.com/news/news/crime-law/former-waynesville-citizen-of-the-year-accused-of-/


Got a funny feeling the landlord is actually a spanko. LOL  

The “victim”, a grown 29 year old man, willingly dropped his pants and in his own words “…just wanted to get it over with.”  Then he runs to to police and cries assault?  Why? Maybe he thought that the spanking would get him out of paying the rent and found out it wouldn’t?  What do you think?

Gently...

What did you think I was talking about?  Hmmm?   ROFLMBO

Hellooooo…..

My Internet is back so I’m “HOME” and doing my Happy Dance!!!!!!

My ex got in between snowstorms with his 4WD and got me to the store so I was well stocked, including batteries. *snicker* (oops, forgot batteries for the alarm backup)

I was afraid I would lose power and/or internet when the storm hit so I pre-scheduled posts for the week.  Good thing I did as Monday night, I lost TV and Internet, got the TV back Wednesday night but just got the Internet back today.  Lost power for a few hours Tuesday and it flickered every so often but hasn’t since last night so think I’m in good shape, for now.  Due for more snow here Monday! Grrrrr  (Will have more posts pre-scheduled…just in case.)  My ex got in the morning to get me re-stocked as I still can’t get my car out! (Yes, I remembered batteries for the alarm clocks and a few other items. )

Didn’t even try to read blogs since blogger doesn't like my phone and it's impossible to comment.   I was only checking email once a day since I had to do it by phone and was afraid of draining the battery.  Didn’t want to have a dead phone if the power went!  As the week went on, I really began to suffer withdrawal symptoms...missing my friends and blogging so started checking email twice a day.

Thanks to all of you who checked on me.  You really touched my heart.  I know I owe quite a few people emails and promise to get them answered as soon as I can.  Answering from my phone is a pain and also drains the battery.

Just scanning through my reading list and dang, so much has gone on in blog land while I’ve been gone.  

Birthday’s for Dragon and Ana…Happy Birthday to both of you.

Women sending pictures to Bas…sorry Bas, none from me…camera’s break when they are pointed at me!  Oh my, you do sound handsome!

Cover reveals…woohoo…congrats!

New stories…from Ana on FF and Cassie…will definitely have to read those! 

Blogiversaries  and DDversaries…congrats!

Rogue’s son is now a Marine…welcome to the Marine Mom’s club Rogue and congrats to your very special son. 

And then we have haircuts, communication, respect, new blog names, dryers on the fritz, taxes, yawning during spanking (Really?), DD comparisons, vacations, chocolate, maintenance, RA, reconnection, small but powerful gestures, new bloggers, dictators, Clitoral Tugs (Definitely a must-read!), frills and lace, leniency, consistency, distancing (with pickles ), drama, cliques, stress, PMS, dieting, effort and follow-through, definitions of an HoH, art, recipes, etc. 

Sheesh, got tired just reading the opening blurbs about some of the one's I’ve missed and haven’t even gotten through all of them!  Will read as I get a chance and ya might get a ‘late to the party’ comment but then again, ya might not. *teehee*

Thought I would share a few pictures…

 

Hopefully, I’m back but am prepared if I go down again and you will still have daily posts here.  I promise to get through all the unanswered comments on my blog as soon as I can but please be patient.

Found a Frog

One of the teachers had a kindergartener come up to her and say that he had found a frog.


The teacher asked if the frog was alive or dead.


The student said it was dead.


The teacher asked how he knew.


The boy said, "I pissed in its ear."



The teacher said, "You what?"



He said, "You know, I went to his ear and said, 'PSST!' and it didn't move.  So it must be dead."



The teacher had to leave the room!


LOL

 

Use Grown-Up Words!

A group of previous kindergartners were trying very hard to become accustomed to the first grade.

The biggest hurdle they faced was that the teacher insisted on NO baby talk!


"You need to use 'Grown-Up' words," she was always reminding them.



She asked Chris what he had done over the weekend.

"I went to visit my Nana."

"No, you went to visit your GRANDMOTHER. Use 'Grown-Up' words!" 



She then asked Mitchell what he had done.

"I took a ride on a choo-choo."

She said "No, you took a ride on a TRAIN.

You must remember to use 'Grown-Up' words." 



She then asked little Alec what he had done.

"I read a book," he replied.

"That's WONDERFUL!" the teacher said. "What book did you read?"

Alec thought real hard about it, then puffed out his chest with great pride, and said, "Winnie the SHIT."



Well, she wanted 'Grown-Up' words!  LOL