Accepting Applications

First Grade Logic

Don't remember if I received this from someone or found it somewhere...either way, found it funny.  Hope you enjoy...

• Two's company, three's..............the Musketeers.

• Don't put off till tomorrow what..............you put on to go to bed.

• Laugh and the whole world laughs with you, cry and..............You have to blow your nose.

• There are none so blind as..............Stevie Wonder.

• Children should be seen..............and not. spanked or grounded.

• If at first you don't succeed..............get new batteries.

• You get out of something only what you..............See in the picture on the box

• When the blind lead the blind..............get out of the way.

• A bird in the hand..............is going to poop on you.

 
And the WINNER is..............
 

• Better late than..............Pregnant

All FUn and Games…

Extra Ordinary Life

Honk at Me!

BUT…



Oh and yes…

The World is a Stage

Life

Don’t

 

Pray for Las Vegas

Sending prayers, healing energy,  and condolences to the victims, families, first responders, and to everyone who has been affected by this terrible evil.

God bless you!

Briitsh Humor

Even though I’ve previously shared these, when Meredith's Jack sent them, I just had to share them again.  Enjoy!

These are classified ads, which were actually placed in U.K. Newspapers:

FREE YORKSHIRE TERRIER.
8 years old,
Hateful little bastard.
Bites!

FREE PUPPIES
1/2 Cocker Spaniel, 1/2 sneaky neighbor's dog.

FREE PUPPIES.
Mother is a Kennel Club registered German Shepherd.
Father is a Super Dog, able to leap tall fences in a single bound.


COWS, CALVES: NEVER BRED.
Also 1 gay bull for sale.


JOINING NUDIST COLONY!
Must sell washer and dryer £100.


WEDDING DRESS FOR  SALE .
Worn once by mistake.
Call Stephanie.

**** And the WINNER is... ****


FOR  SALE BY OWNER.
Complete set of Encyclopedia Britannica, 45 volumes.
Excellent condition, £200 or best offer. No longer needed, got married, wife knows everything.

Statement of the Century
Thought from the Greatest Living Scottish Thinker--BillyConnolly. "If women are so bloody perfect at multitasking, How come they can't have a headache and sex at the same time?"


>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Children Are Quick
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TEACHER: Why are you late?
STUDENT: Class started before I got here.
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TEACHER: John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?
JOHN: You told me to do it without using tables.
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TEACHER: Glenn, how do you spell 'crocodile?'
GLENN: K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L'
TEACHER: No, that's wrong
GLENN: Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it.
(I Love this child)
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TEACHER: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?
DONALD: H I J K L M N O.
TEACHER: What are you talking about?
DONALD: Yesterday you said it's H to O.
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TEACHER: Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago.
WINNIE: Me!
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TEACHER: Glen, why do you always get so dirty?
GLEN: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.
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TEACHER: George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but also admitted it.
Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn't punish him?
LOUIS: Because George still had the axe in his hand.....
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TEACHER: Now, Simon , tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?
SIMON: No sir, I don't have to, my Mum is a good cook.
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TEACHER:  Clyde , your composition on 'My Dog' is exactly the same as your brother's.
Did you copy his?
CLYDE : No, sir. It's the same dog.

(I want to adopt this kid!!!)
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TEACHER: Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?
HAROLD: A teacher.
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PASS IT AROUND AND MAKE SOMEONE LAUGH


Due to current economic conditions the light at the end of the tunnel has been turned off.