Imagine you are a frisky 70-year-old man who decides to hire an escort for the evening when you're out of town. (Men. Do they ever change?) When the lovely lady of the evening arrives, you notice with a shock that the woman seems very familiar. In fact, she's more than just familiar. You know her very well. She's your son's fiancée! Now you've got quite a dilemma on your hands…do you tell your son what the woman he's about to marry does for a living?
Apparently this all really happened in Italy. The 70-year-old man, marital status unclear, hired an escort when he went out of town, only to be flummoxed when his 40-year-old son's fiancée showed up. To their credit, the two decided not to go ahead with their…ahem…business arrangement.
But the man wrestled with the question as to whether to tell his son that his South American girlfriend wasn't a waitress as everyone believed, but a prostitute. Additionally, if he told his son, he would be revealing his own role as an old horndog who used escorts. If the father were still married, an even bigger dilemma. Do you risk your marriage to warn your son about the woman he's about to marry?
I suspect most of us would do what the man ultimately did…which was tell his son.
And you know what they say about don't kill the messenger. Because so many want to. The son was apparently furious with the dad and the two got into an argument. Four years later, the pair are still in court, where the son has sued his father for "injuries." It's unclear if these are physical injuries related to the fight…or psychological injuries related to the shock of your dad telling you the woman you plan to marry is an escort.
Hard to imagine why the son wouldn't be grateful that his dad told him about this tiny omission. Even if the son still wanted to marry her, escort job and all, at least he'd know what he was getting into. How could any parent have NOT told?
Plus, can you imagine the awkward family gatherings? Dad: Hey, Sophia, remember that time we almost had sex? Wasn't that funny? By the way, does my son still think you work at Spizzico?
But how often people blame bad news on the ones they hear it from. The son sounds like he's in total denial. No word on whether the couple still got married.
The father/son, however, still don't get along, since the judge was reportedly unable to broker a truce between them.
Did the dad do the right thing?
Courtesy of Stirring Daily
Wow, that's a tough one, but I definitely think the dad did the right thing, especially if he knew she had lied to his son. Allowing a marriage to be founded on false premises right in front of you is not right. Hopefully, if this is true, the son will eventually come around.
ReplyDeleteIt is a tough decision Autumn...If I had discovered similar information regarding the fiance of one of my sons, I would have give the girl a timeframe to 'come clean' to my son before I did it for her. It's not her job that bothers me, even though I can't see a marriage thriving, as much as it's the dishonesty.
DeleteHugs and Blessings...
Cat
ah, it's almost impossible to tell if the father did the right thing. We do not have enough information. There are a lot of blanks in this story. Classic dilemma. The father is almost always right to tell the son, the relationship between father and son should be baaed on equity and truth. If one of them has a hard time dealing with that, so be it.
ReplyDeleteThat is wrong with politica ant the media these days, it's almost always a choice we have to make is it right or is it wrong. That is easy. We.have a bad guy and a good guy. But the truth is often more complicated in the dilemma what is better of two good things or what is the least harmful of two bad things.
Thnk you Cat for making us think.
Han
Happy this story made you think Han...I would like to know more but haven't had the time to research...will try to do that when I get some time. My main problem is the dishonesty of the fiance...starting any relationship with that kind of dishonesty is not a good building block.
DeleteHugs and Blessings...
Cat
HY Cat, not to be judgemental or anything but.. the son is a twit!!
ReplyDeletejust saying
love Jan,xx...
LOL Jan...good one! ;)
DeleteHugs and Blessings...
Cat
Wow Cat, what a dilemma! Have to say, I'm with Jan. Yes, I think Dad did do the right thing ultimately.
ReplyDeleteHugs
Roz
Hey Roz...I'm wondering exactly how the father handled it but I also agree with Jan...the son is a twit if he is going to be angry at the truth. Makes me wonder if the son already knew and was reacting badly because he was embarrassed and not willing to admit he knew.
DeleteHugs and Blessings...
Cat
That is a dilemma - I'm not sure what I would do, maybe try to convince the person they were making a mistake or maybe leaving clues w/o actually telling them. Who knows
ReplyDeleteThe son is embarrassed and the dad did what he thought was right, so it's a lose/lose unfortunately.
It is a major dilemma Sunny but as I told Autumn, if I had discovered the fiance of one of my sons was deceiving him, I would have given her a time frame to 'come clean' to my son before I did it for her. I agree, I do believe the son is embarrassed and that is why he is acting so badly.
DeleteHugs and Blessings...
Cat
I think the dad had to tell. We want to protect our kids no matter the age. If it was a friend.... May not have the same opinion!
ReplyDeleteI would have told...friend or family...what kind of a relationship are you going to have when it starts on that kind of dishonesty?!
DeleteAnd yes, we definitely want to protect our children...regardless of their age. ;)
Hugs and Blessings...
Cat
I am so naive that it was only a couple of years ago (funny that) that Dan explained what 'escorts' really do. I had no idea at all that they were prostitutes. I thought they did just what the word says, and dressed nicely and went out for the evening with men who needed company for the evening.
ReplyDeleteWhen I worked in the business world I often spent great lunchtimes or evenings chatting to men over lunch or dinner or in the lounge bar. They would show me photos of their families and it would be so pleasant to not have to dine alone or drink alone. I once spent a wonderful lunchtime with a high profile TV celebrity and when I related the information to my mother she was so annoyed I hadn't asked him for his autograph, but I didn't even recognise him at the time.
I was completely flabbergasted when Dan explained that men are often looking for an opportunity for some 'action'. It put me right off wanting to chat with strange men in bars ever again.
Am I hopeless or what?!
(I do think, however, that the above story is rather sad. Perhaps the father wasn't particularly tactful when he related his findings to his son? Who knows?)
Hugs
Ami
LOL Ami...you are an innocent aren't you. Yeah...umm...chatting with strange men in bars is a good way to give them the impression that you are available for... ;)
DeleteI agree with you, the father may have been less that tactful but the son's behavior is less than 'adult' in my opinion.
Hugs and Blessings...
Cat
I would have insisted that the fiancée tell the son, herself. Give her a deadline. Then if she didn't, I would. It might have been better if the dad wasn't the messenger and the girl took responsibility.
ReplyDeleteI agree with you Blondie...this is basically what I told several people above. Ya know...for all we know, the dad did give the girl a chance to tell the son and she refused...the article doesn't really say. Haven't had time to follow up on this story but will try to find time in the near future.
DeleteHugs and Blessings...
Cat