Here are some good ones:
Dear Milkman:
I've just had a baby, please leave another one.
Please leave an extra pint of paralyzed milk.
Cancel one pint after the day after today.
Please don't leave any more milk. All they do is drink it.
Milkman, please close the gate behind you because the birds keep pecking the tops off the milk.
Milkman, please could I have a loaf but not bread today.
Please cancel milk. I have nothing coming into the house but two sons on the dole.
Sorry not to have paid your bill before, but my wife had a baby and I’ve been carrying it around in my pocket for weeks.
Sorry about yesterday's note. I didn't mean one egg and a dozen pints, but the other way round.
When you leave my milk please knock on my bedroom window and wake me because I want you to give me a hand to turn the mattress.
Please knock. My TV's broken down and I missed last night's Coronation Street. If you saw it, will you tell me what happened over a cup of tea?
My daughter says she wants a milkshake. Do you do it before you deliver or do I have to shake the bottle?
Please send me a form for cheap milk, for I have a baby two months old and did not know about it until a neighbor told me.
Please send me details about cheap milk as I am stagnant.
Milk is needed for the baby. Father is unable to supply it.
From now on please leave two pints every other day and one pint on the days in between, except Wednesdays and Saturdays when I don't want any milk.
My back door is open. Please put milk in 'fridge, get money out of cup in drawer and leave change on kitchen table in pence, because we want to play bingo tonight.
Please leave no milk today. When I say today, I mean tomorrow, for I wrote this note yesterday.
Milkman please put the coal on the boiler, let dog out and put newspaper inside the screen door.
P.S. Don't leave any milk.
No milk.
Please do not leave milk at No. 14 either as he is dead until further notice.
How would you like to have the job as a milkman? LOL
Cat,
ReplyDeleteWhen Jack and I were first dating, I was at his home alone. The milk man came in the house and put the milk in the refrigerator and scared me to death.
Meredith
LOL Mere...if you weren't expecting anyone, I can definitely understand how you were so badly scared. ;)
DeleteHugs and Blessings...
Cat
My grandpa was a milkman. Wish I had heard some of his stories.
ReplyDeleteHow cool is that Sunny! Wish you had also...would have been fun to hear them. ;)
DeleteHugs and Blessings...
Cat
I remember when milk was delivered, even though I was very young!
ReplyDeleteThe stories are so funny!
Happy you enjoyed them Minelle...When I was about two years old, I took off after the milkman with my little red wagon...he didn't notice me until we were about a block away from my house. He loaded me and my wagon up in his truck and took us back home. ;)
DeleteHugs and Blessings...
Cat
My grandpa was up before the sun milking cows. Strained, skimmed and pasteurized. The butter churn beside the table and the molds beside the sink. Good memories.
ReplyDeleteVery good memories Rose. I remember my grandpa getting up early to milk the cows and then milking them again before supper. My grandma would let me help churn the butter...she had the glass churns with the hand crank that a little one could crank...until the butter started coming on. ;)
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Cat
LoL Cat, these are hilarious. I remember the days of the milkman and both of my brothers did milk runs to earn some money while at high school.
ReplyDeleteHugs
Roz
Happy you enjoyed them Roz...you ought to copy them into an email and send them to your brothers. If you have trouble with that, let me know and I will send them in an email to you. ;)
DeleteHugs and Blessings...
Cat
These are really fun to read, Cat! I too remember the days of the milkman. We had a milk box on the back step. That was a LONG time ago. LOL!
ReplyDeleteLoved the one about helping to turn the mattress. Many hugs,
<3 Katie
Happy you enjoyed them Katie...I am always looking for someone to help me turn my mattress...would really appreciate a milkman coming by and helping. ;)
DeleteHugs and Blessings...
Cat