Decorum and Aplomb

From Meredith's Jack, with the following note: “CAT...I think you'll like this and I'm sure you have many readers who are also Downton Abby fans.”  Thanks, Jack…loved it!

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The British have such a command of decorum and aplomb to which we can only aspire.

This message is for my friends who appreciate the finer points of the English language used correctly.
 

His Lordship was in the study when the butler approached and coughed discreetly.

"May I ask you a question, My Lord?"

 

"Go ahead, Carson ," said His Lordship.

 

"I am doing the crossword in The Times and found a word the exact meaning of which I am not too certain."

 

"What word is that?" asked His Lordship.

 

"Aplomb," My Lord.

 

"Now that's a difficult one to explain. I would say it is self-assurance or complete composure."
 

"Thank you, My Lord, but I'm still a little confused about it."

 

"Let me give you an example to make it clearer. Do you remember a few months ago when the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge arrived to spend a weekend with us?"

 

"I remember the occasion very well, My Lord. It gave the staff and myself much pleasure to look after them."

 

"Also," continued the Earl of Grantham, "do you remember when Will plucked a rose for Kate in the rose garden?"

 

"I was present on that occasion, My Lord, ministering to their needs.

 

"While Will was plucking the rose, a thorn embedded itself in his thumb very deeply."

 

"I witnessed the incident, My Lord, and saw the Duchess herself remove the thorn and bandage his thumb with her own dainty handkerchief."

 

"That evening the hole the rose made in his thumb was very sore. Kate had to cut his venison for him, even though it was extremely tender."

 

"Yes, My Lord, I did see everything that transpired that evening."

 

"And do you remember the next morning while you were pouring coffee for Her Ladyship, Kate inquired of Will in a loud voice, 'Darling, does your prick still throb?'

And you, Carson, did not spill one drop of coffee.

 That, Carson, is complete composure, or aplomb.”