A Man's Age According To Home Depot

Meredith’s Jack over at New Twist, After All These Years sent this one along…go ahead and share it with your guy but just make sure you let him know it is from Jack and not me!   Hope you enjoy!

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You are in the middle of some home projects: putting in a new fence, painting the porch, planting some flowers and fixing a broken door lock.

You are hot and sweaty, covered with dirt, lawn clippings and  paint. You have your old work clothes on.  You know the outfit -- shorts with a hole in the  crotch, an old T-shirt with a stain from who-knows-what, and an old pair of tennis shoes.

Right  in the middle of these tasks you realize that you need to run to Home Depot for supplies. 

Depending on your age you might  do the following:
In  your 20s: 
Stop  what you are doing.  Shave, take a shower, blow dry your  hair, brush your teeth, floss and put on clean clothes. Check yourself in the mirror and flex.  Add a dab of your  favorite cologne because, you never know, you just might meet  some hot chick while standing in the checkout line.  And  yes, you went to school with the pretty girl running the register.

In  your 30s: 
Stop what you are doing, put on clean shorts and shirt.  Change  your shoes.  You married the hot chick so no need for much  else. Wash your hands and comb your hair.  Check  yourself in the mirror.   Still got it!  Add a  shot of your favorite cologne to cover the smell.  The cute girl running the register is the kid sister of someone you went  to school with.

In  your 40s: 
Stop what you are doing.  Put on a sweatshirt that is long enough to cover the hole in the crotch of your shorts.  Put on different shoes and a hat.  Wash your hands. Your bottle of Brut is almost empty, so don't waste any of it on a  trip to Home Depot.  Check yourself in the mirror and do  more sucking in than flexing.  The hot young thing running the register is your daughter's age and you feel weird about  thinking she's spicy.

In  your 50s: 
Stop what you are doing.  Put on a hat.  Wipe the dirt off your hands onto your shirt. Change shoes because you  don't want to get dog crap in your new sports car.  Check  yourself in the mirror and swear not to wear that shirt anymore  because it makes you look fat. The cutie running the register  smiles when she sees you coming and you think you still have it.  Then you remember -- the hat you have on is from  Bubba's Bait & Beer Bar and it says,  'I Got Worms  '

In  your 60s: 
Stop what you are doing.  No need for a hat any more.  Hose the dog crap off your shoes. The mirror was shattered when you  were in your 50s.  You hope you have underwear on so  nothing hangs out the hole in your pants.  The girl running  the register may be cute but you don't have your glasses on, so  you're not sure.

In  your 70s: 
Stop  what you are doing.  Wait to go to Home Depot until you call the drug store to have your prescriptions ready for pickup too and check your grocery list for a quick stop there.  Got to save trips!  Don't even notice the dog crap on your shoes. The young thing at the register stares at you and you  realize your balls are hanging out the hole in your crotch… who  cares.

In  your 80s:
Stop what you are doing.  Start again.  Then stop again.  Now you remember you need to go to Home  Depot.  You go to Wal-Mart instead. You went to  school with the old lady greeter.  You wander around trying to remember what you are looking for. Then you fart out loud and turn around thinking someone called your name.

In  your 90s & beyond: 
What's  a home deep hoe?   Something for my garden?   Where am I?   Who am  I?   Why am I reading this? Did I send it?   Did you?   Who farted?