The Audit

Myron Greenberg, a wealthy L.A. businessman received a letter of Audit from the IRS.  It really upsets him and he called his accountant, Saul Meyers.


Myron (pleading): "Saul, what are they doing to me? Why are they doing this to me?"

Saul (calming): "Myron, don't worry about it. I've got all the receipts, the account is up to date, it's no problem.  But let me give you a bit of advice.  When you go to the Audit, make a bad impression.  Wear the crummiest, dirtiest clothes you've got.  Have holes in your shoes, ripped pants and look shabby.  I mean really look terrible, because if they have a little sympathy, they'll go easy on you."

 
Then Myron called his Lawyer, Charlie Steinberg.

His Lawyer said:  "Myron, it's no problem, I'm sure they got the receipts, I'm sure everything is up to date, you've got a great accountant, don't worry about it.  Let me give you a tip.  When you go to the Audit, it's very important that you make a good impression.  Wear your best suit, and your shirt with a silk tie and cuff links and shine your shoes, look like somebody.  Because if you look like a somebody they respect you and will go easy on you."

 
And now he's torn.

And that night he bumped into his Rabbi at the Deli. And he told the Rabbi the story.

Rabbi: "Myron, it reminds me of sometimes when I perform a wedding.  The bride's father will tell his daughter that on her wedding night to wear a nightgown with a high collar and long sleeves and a full-length robe...cover up, you know, be a little demure.  And the mother says, 'Don't be silly.  Wear a low cut "negligee" with the cleavage sticking out…look a little sexy'.  And, Myron…I will say to you just like I say to the bride on her wedding night, it makes no difference what you wear, you're gonna get f*cked".