Hello Tech Support

 

 
Tech Support: 'I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop.'
Customer: ‘OK.'
Tech Support: 'Did you get a pop-up menu?'
Customer: ‘No.'
Tech Support: 'OK. Right-Click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?'
Customer: ‘No.'
Tech Support: 'OK, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until this point?'
Customer: 'Sure. You told me to write 'click' and I wrote 'click' .'

 

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Tech Support: 'OK. At the bottom left hand side of your screen, can you see the 'OK' button displayed?'
Customer: ‘Wow! How can you see my screen from there?'

 

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Caller: 'I deleted a file from my PC last week and I just realized that I need it. So, if I turn my system clock back two weeks will I get my file back again?'

 

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This has to be one of the funniest things in a long time. I think this guy should have been promoted, not fired.

This is a true story from the WordPerfect Helpline, which was transcribed from a recording monitoring the customer care department.

Needless to say the Help Desk employee was fired; however, he/she is currently suing the WordPerfect organization for 'Termination without Cause.'

Actual dialogue of a former WordPerfect Customer Support employee (Now I know why they record these conversations!):
 
Operator: 'Ridge Hall, computer assistance; may I help you?'
Caller: 'Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect.'
 
Operator: 'What sort of trouble?'
Caller: 'Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away.'
 
Operator: 'Went away?'
Caller: 'They disappeared'
 
Operator: 'Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?'
Caller: 'Nothing.'
 
Operator: 'Nothing??'
Caller: 'It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type.'
 
Operator: 'Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out?'
Caller: 'How do I tell?'
 
Operator: ‘Can you see the 'C: prompt' on the screen?'
Caller: 'What's a sea-prompt?'
 
Operator: 'Never mind, can you move your cursor around the screen?'
Caller: 'There isn't any cursor; I told you, it won't accept anything I type.'
 
Operator: 'Does your monitor have a power indicator?'
Caller: 'What's a monitor?'
 
Operator: 'It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does it have a little light that tells you when it's on?'
Caller: ‘I don't know.'
 
Operator: ‘Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord goes into it. Can you see that??'
Caller: 'Yes, I think so.'
 
Opera tor: 'Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged into the wall.
Caller: 'Yes, it is.'
 
Operator: 'When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one? '
Caller: ‘No.'
 
Operator: ‘Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other cable.'
Caller: ‘Okay, here it is.'
 
Operator: ‘Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into the back of your computer. . .'
Caller: ‘I can't reach.'
 
Operator: ‘OK. Well, can you see if it is?'
Caller: ‘No...'
 
Operator: ‘Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over?'
Caller: ‘Well, it's not because I don't have the right angle -- it's because it's dark.'
 
Operator: ‘Dark?'
Caller: ‘Yes - the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from the window.'
 
Operator: 'Well, turn on the office light then.'
Caller: 'I can't..'
 
Operator: 'No? Why not?'
Caller: 'Because there's a power failure.'
 
Operator: 'A power .... A power failure? Aha.  Okay, we've got it licked now.  Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff that your computer came in?'
Caller: 'Well, yes, I keep them in the closet.'
 
Operator: 'Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it was when you got it.Then take it back to the store you bought it from.'
Caller: 'Really? Is it that bad?'
 
Operator: 'Yes, I'm afraid it is.'
Caller: ‘Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them?'
 
Operator: ‘TELL THEM YOU'RE TOO DAMNED STUPID TO OWN A COMPUTER!'