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Wednesday, October 29, 2014

Hollywood Squares

These great questions and answers are from the days when Hollywood Squares game show responses were spontaneous, not scripted, as they are now!  Anyone remember seeing the original shows?


Q. Paul, what is a good reason for pounding meat?
A. Paul Lynde: Loneliness!
(The audience laughed so long and so hard it took up almost 15 minutes of the show!)

 
Q. Do female frogs croak?
A. Paul Lynde: If you hold their little heads under water long enough.


Q. If you're going to make a parachute jump, at least how high should you be?
A. Charley Weaver: Three days of steady drinking should do it.



Q. True or False, a pea can last as long as 5,000 years?
A. George Gobel: Boy, it sure seems that way sometimes.



Q. You've been having trouble going to sleep. Are you probably a man or a woman?
A. Don Knotts: That's what's been keeping me awake.



Q. According to Cosmopolitan, if you meet a stranger at a party and you think  that he is attractive, is it okay to come right out and ask him if he's married?
A. Rose Marie: No, wait until morning.



Q. Which of your five senses tends to diminish as you get older?
A. Charley Weaver: My sense of decency.



Q. What are 'Do It,' 'I Can Help,' and 'I Can't Get Enough'?
A. George Gobel: I don't know, but it's coming from the next apartment.



Q. As you grow older, do you tend to gesture more or less with your hands while talking?
A. Rose Marie: You ask me one more growing old question, Peter, and I'll give you a gesture you'll never forget.



Q. Paul, why do Hell's Angels wear leather?
A. Paul Lynde: Because chiffon wrinkles too easily.



Q. Charley, you've just decided to grow strawberries. Are you going to get any during the first year?
A. Charley Weaver: Of course not, I'm too busy growing strawberries.



Q. In bowling, what's a perfect score?
A. Rose Marie: Ralph, the pin boy.



Q. During a tornado, are you safer in the bedroom or in the closet?
A. Rose Marie: Unfortunately, Peter, I'm always safe in the bedroom.



Q. Can boys join the Camp Fire Girls?
A. Marty Allen: Only after lights out.



Q. When you pat a dog on its head he will wag his tail. What will a goose do?
A. Paul Lynde: Make him bark?


Q. If you were pregnant for two years, what would you give birth to?
A. Paul Lynde: Whatever it is, it would never be afraid of the dark...



Q. According to Ann Landers, is there anything wrong with getting into the habit of kissing a lot of people?
A. Charley Weaver: It got me out of the army.



Q. Back in the old days, when Great Grandpa put horseradish on his head, what was he trying to do?
A. George Gobel: Get it in his mouth.



Q. Who stays pregnant for a longer period of time, your wife or your elephant?
A. Paul Lynde: Who told you about my elephant?



Q. Jackie Gleason recently revealed that he firmly believes in them and has actually seen them on at least two occasions. What are they?
A. Charley Weaver: His feet.



Q. According to Ann Landers, what are two things you should never do in bed?
A. Paul Lynde: Point and laugh.

 
We don't stop laughing because we grow old,
We grow old because we stop laughing!

14 comments:

  1. Oh I so do remember this show...I loved it...thanks for a walk down memory lane..
    hugs abby

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    1. Happy you joined me on the stroll down memory lane Abby...so much fun wasn't it. ;)

      Hugs and Blessings...
      Cat

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  2. Oh thank you Cat! I've seen the old Hollywood Squares and they were so funny. I loved Paul Lynde, he was always so very funny. I think my favorites here are the first and last. Lisa

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    1. Happy you enjoyed these Lisa. One of the things I always enjoyed about Paul Lynde was his delivery...it was always so dry and straight-faced. ;)

      Hugs and Blessings...
      Cat

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  3. Not familiar with the show, no surprise there. Quick wit, that is what you call it, isn't it? A spontanious reaction often reflecting to yourself? A lot of the people I work with have that. They can think of a funny answer in a second or so.
    I can't unfortunately. My funny thoughts come and and a half hours later LOL

    Thanks for sharing Cat,

    Han

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    1. Hey Han...Hollywood Squares was a game show that used to be on prime time TV. Yes, Paul Lynde was definitely a quick wit...you can just see the the thoughts running through his head...sorting out which he can get away with on TV. Here is a YouTube link with some Paul Lynde highlights...http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fSkRsciX-gI Hope you enjoy.

      Hugs and Blessings...
      Cat

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  4. ROFLMAO. Brilliant, quick witted answers. I think we had a version of Hollywood Squares here. Thanks for the laugh Cat :)

    Hugs
    Roz

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    1. You're very welcome Roz...happy you enjoyed them. The people listed in the giggle are some of my favorites with the quick remarks. ;)

      Hugs and Blessings...
      Cat

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  5. I loved that show and those characters. Paul Lynde never ever missed a beat. Thanks for the refresher.

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    1. You're very welcome Sunny...One of the things that made Paul Lynde one of my favorites was you could just watch the thoughts running through his mind and him sorting and thinking...okay...how far can I push the envelope. I shared a Best of Paul Lynde Hollywood Squares link with Han above.

      Hugs and Blessings...
      Cat

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  6. Funny. Really made me laugh. Thanks Cat.

    Love,
    Ronnie
    xx

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    1. Happy you enjoyed them Ronnie...I miss these comedians. ;)

      Hugs and Blessings...
      Cat

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  7. Loved this show! What funny answers, thanks for sharing, I got a good laugh out of them! :)

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    1. You're welcome Kenzie...happy you enjoyed them...I have always loved humor and their one-liners are classics. ;)

      Hugs and Blessings...
      Cat

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